{"id":970,"date":"2022-03-10T11:27:43","date_gmt":"2022-03-10T16:27:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/?page_id=970"},"modified":"2026-04-13T11:57:15","modified_gmt":"2026-04-13T15:57:15","slug":"even-lions-have-their-pride","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/read-online\/even-lions-have-their-pride\/","title":{"rendered":"Even Lions Have Their Pride"},"content":{"rendered":"<div align=\"center\" class=\"button\" style=\"margin-bottom: 10px;\"><a class=\"button\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/fan-fiction\/even-lions-have-their-pride\/\">Return to the Title Page<\/a><\/div>\r\n\r\n<input type='hidden' bg_collapse_expand='6a654d15aa1013032082914' value='6a654d15aa1013032082914'><input type='hidden' id='bg-show-more-text-6a654d15aa1013032082914' value='WARNING: FICTION WITH AN \u201cX\u201d RATING IS NOT FOR MINORS. In the case of this particular story, there are content warnings for: Innuendo, Controversial Subject Matter, Alcohol\/Drug Use, Harsh Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Graphic Violence\/Gore, Death, and Murder. If such content is objectionable to you or inappropriate for you, please hit your browser\u2019s Back button now, or close this window or tab. By clicking on this link to access the story, you are declaring that you are 18 years of age or older, and that this content is not illegal in your place of residence.'><input type='hidden' id='bg-show-less-text-6a654d15aa1013032082914' value=''><button id='bg-showmore-action-6a654d15aa1013032082914' class='bg-showmore-plg-button bg-green-button  '   style=\" color:#D9ECFB;\">WARNING: FICTION WITH AN \u201cX\u201d RATING IS NOT FOR MINORS. In the case of this particular story, there are content warnings for: Innuendo, Controversial Subject Matter, Alcohol\/Drug Use, Harsh Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Graphic Violence\/Gore, Death, and Murder. If such content is objectionable to you or inappropriate for you, please hit your browser\u2019s Back button now, or close this window or tab. By clicking on this link to access the story, you are declaring that you are 18 years of age or older, and that this content is not illegal in your place of residence.<\/button><div id='bg-showmore-hidden-6a654d15aa1013032082914' >\r\n\r\n<div class=\"su-tabs su-tabs-style-default su-tabs-mobile-scroll su-tabs-vertical\" data-active=\"1\" data-scroll-offset=\"0\" data-anchor-in-url=\"yes\"><div class=\"su-tabs-nav\"><span class=\" tabmoji-cover\" data-anchor=\"cover\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\"><\/span><span class=\" tabmoji-pubdata\" data-anchor=\"pubdata\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\"><\/span><span class=\" tabmoji-toc\" data-anchor=\"toc\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\"><\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-1\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">1<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-2\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">2<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-3\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">3<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-4\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">4<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-5\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">5<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-6\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">6<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-7\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">7<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-8\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">8<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-9\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">9<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-10\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">10<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-11\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">11<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-12\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">12<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-13\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">13<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-14\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">14<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-15\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">15<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-16\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">16<\/span><span class=\"\" data-anchor=\"chapter-17\" data-url=\"\" data-target=\"blank\" tabindex=\"0\" role=\"button\">17<\/span><\/div><div class=\"su-tabs-panes\"><div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim tabmoji-cover\" data-title=\"\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4127\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4127 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\">&nbsp;<\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4059\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4059 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#pubdata\">Publication Data \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div style=\"text-align: center\">\r\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Even-Lions-Have-Their-Pride-V4.jpg\" alt=\"Cover art for \u201cEven Lions Have Their Pride\u201d by Ardath Rekha\" align=\"center\" style=\"width:100%\" \/>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4127\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4127 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\">&nbsp;<\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4059\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4059 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#pubdata\">Publication Data \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim tabmoji-pubdata\" data-title=\"\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"3995\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-3995 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#cover\">\u00ab Cover&nbsp;<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4060\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4060 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\">&nbsp;<a href=\"#toc\">Table of Contents \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1215\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1215 \">  <h2 style=\"text-align: center;\"><b><u>Even Lions Have Their Pride<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <h4 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 30px;\">by Ardath Rekha<\/h4>\r\n\r\n<span data-post-id=\"4481\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4481 \"><p><b>Synopsis:<\/b> Four years after Pitch Black, Riddick and Jack have settled into a unique \u201cFamily\u201d arrangement. (This story was formerly known as \u201cPackmates.\u201d Thank you to Chrysalis for the lovely new title!)<\/p><\/span>\r\n\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><p><b>Category:<\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/browse-by-genre\/#fiction\">Fan Fiction<\/a><\/div>\r\n\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><p><b>Fandom:<\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/browse-by-fandom\/#pitch-black\"><i>Pitch Black<\/i> (2000)<\/a><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><p><b>Series:<\/b> None<\/div>\r\n\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><p><b>Challenges:<\/b> None<\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><p><b>Rating:<\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/browse-by-rating\/#rated-x\">X<\/a><\/div>\r\n\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><p><b>Orientation:<\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/browse-by-orientation\/#het-plot\">Het (Plot)<\/a><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n\r\n<p><b>Pairing:<\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/browse-by-pairing\/#riddick-jack\">Riddick\/Jack<\/a>\r\n\r\n<p><b>Warnings:<\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/the-content-warning-system\/#innuendo\">Innuendo<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/the-content-warning-system\/#controversial-subject-matter\">Controversial Subject Matter<\/a> (Child Trafficking, PTSD), <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/the-content-warning-system\/#alchohol-drug-use\">Alcohol \/ Drug Use<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/the-content-warning-system\/#harsh-language\">Harsh Language<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/the-content-warning-system\/#explicit-sexual-content\">Explicit Sexual Content<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/the-content-warning-system\/#graphic-violence-gore\">Graphic Violence \/ Gore<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/the-content-warning-system\/#death\">Death<\/a>, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/the-content-warning-system\/#murder\">Murder<\/a><\/p>\r\n\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><p><b>Number of Chapters:<\/b> 17 \r\n\r\n<p><b>Net Word Count:<\/b><span id=\"su_tooltip_6a654d163f0bb_button\" class=\"su-tooltip-button su-tooltip-button-outline-yes\" aria-describedby=\"su_tooltip_6a654d163f0bb\" data-settings='{\"position\":\"top\",\"behavior\":\"hover\",\"hideDelay\":0}' tabindex=\"0\"><sup><i class=\"fas fa-question-circle\" style=\"color:#243a68;\"><\/i><\/sup><\/span><span style=\"display:none;z-index:100\" id=\"su_tooltip_6a654d163f0bb\" class=\"su-tooltip\" role=\"tooltip\"><span class=\"su-tooltip-inner su-tooltip-shadow-yes\" style=\"z-index:100;background:linear-gradient(to bottom, #4474BE 0%, #243a68 100%);color:#D9ECFB;font-size:16px;border-radius:5px;text-align:left;max-width:300px;line-height:1.25\"><span class=\"su-tooltip-title\"><\/span><span class=\"su-tooltip-content su-u-trim\">In the Read Online section, net word counts exclude cover pages, publication data pages, tables of contents, chapter titles, page links, original post date medatata, and \u2014 in the case of Lyric Wheel stories \u2014 song information and lyrics. In the case of articles, contextual notations are also omitted. Afterwords and chapter notes are treated as part of a text\u2019s overall body.<\/span><\/span><span id=\"su_tooltip_6a654d163f0bb_arrow\" class=\"su-tooltip-arrow\" style=\"z-index:100;background:linear-gradient(to bottom, #4474BE 0%, #243a68 100%)\" data-popper-arrow><\/span><\/span> 59,268\r\n\r\n<p><b>Total Word Count:<\/b><span id=\"su_tooltip_6a654d163f587_button\" class=\"su-tooltip-button su-tooltip-button-outline-yes\" aria-describedby=\"su_tooltip_6a654d163f587\" data-settings='{\"position\":\"top\",\"behavior\":\"hover\",\"hideDelay\":0}' tabindex=\"0\"><sup><i class=\"fas fa-question-circle\" style=\"color:#243a68;\"><\/i><\/sup><\/span><span style=\"display:none;z-index:100\" id=\"su_tooltip_6a654d163f587\" class=\"su-tooltip\" role=\"tooltip\"><span class=\"su-tooltip-inner su-tooltip-shadow-yes\" style=\"z-index:100;background:linear-gradient(to bottom, #4474BE 0%, #243a68 100%);color:#D9ECFB;font-size:16px;border-radius:5px;text-align:left;max-width:300px;line-height:1.25\"><span class=\"su-tooltip-title\"><\/span><span class=\"su-tooltip-content su-u-trim\">In the Read Online section, total word counts include all text present in the story tabs, excluding forward\/back page links and tooltips. This count tends to be slightly different from the eBook Total Word Count reported on the title page.<\/span><\/span><span id=\"su_tooltip_6a654d163f587_arrow\" class=\"su-tooltip-arrow\" style=\"z-index:100;background:linear-gradient(to bottom, #4474BE 0%, #243a68 100%)\" data-popper-arrow><\/span><\/span> 59,631\r\n\r\n<p><b>Story Length:<\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/browse-by-story-length\/#novel\">Novel<\/a><\/div>\r\n\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><p><b>First Posted:<\/b> May 22, 2003\r\n\r\n<p><b>Last Updated:<\/b> August 15, 2004\r\n\r\n<p><b>Status:<\/b> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/browse-by-status\/#incomplete\">Incomplete<\/a><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n\r\n<span data-post-id=\"4434\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4434 \"><p><small>The characters and events of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0134847\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i>Pitch Black<\/i><\/a> are &copy; 2000 USA Films, Gramercy Pictures, and Interscope Communications; Directed by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0878638\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">David Twohy<\/a>; Screenplay by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0003117\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Ken and<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0923646\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Jim Wheat<\/a> and David Twohy; Story by Ken and Jim Wheat; Produced by <a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0257259\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Tom Engelman<\/a>. This work of fan fiction is a transformative work for entertainment purposes only, with no claims on, nor intent to infringe upon, the rights of the parties listed above. All additional characters and situations are the creation of, and remain the property of, Ardath Rekha. eBook design and cover art by <a href=\"https:\/\/laraklaber.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">LaraRebooted<\/a>, incorporating a publicity still of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0004874\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Vin Diesel<\/a>, a photo of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0341587\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Rhiana Griffith<\/a> that appeared in the <i>Newcastle Herald<\/i>, the \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/fontmeme.com\/fonts\/raparperitaivas-font\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Raparperitaivas<\/a>\u201d font from <a href=\"https:\/\/fontmeme.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Font Meme<\/a>, and background graphics &copy; 1998 Noel Mollon, adapted and licensed via Teri Williams Carnright from the now-retired Fantasyland Graphics site (c. 2003). This eBook may not be sold or advertised for sale. If you are a copyright holder of any of the referenced works, and believe that part or all of this eBook exceeds fair use practices under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/contact-me\/\">please contact Ardath Rekha<\/a>.<\/small><\/p><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><small><i>Rev. 2022.10.09<\/i><\/small><\/p><\/span><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"3995\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-3995 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#cover\">\u00ab Cover&nbsp;<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4060\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4060 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\">&nbsp;<a href=\"#toc\">Table of Contents \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim tabmoji-toc\" data-title=\"\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"3996\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-3996 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#pubdata\">\u00ab Publication Data<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4064\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4064 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-1\">Chapter 1 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1872\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1872 \">  <h3 style=\"text-align: center;\">Table of Contents<\/h3>\r\n\r\n  <ol class=\"toc\">\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-1\">Raid<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-2\">Love<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-3\">Crocodile<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-4\">Bait<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-5\">Stuck<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-6\">Confessional<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-7\">Vipers<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-8\">Heist<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-9\">Denouement<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-10\">Amy<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-11\">Circling<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-12\">Perfidy<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-13\">Cerberus<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-14\">Darksider<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-15\">Elephants<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-16\">Majority<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n    <li style=\"margin-bottom: 20px; margin-top: 20px;\"><a href=\"#chapter-17\">Her<\/a><\/li>\r\n\r\n  <\/ol><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"3996\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-3996 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#pubdata\">\u00ab Publication Data<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4064\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4064 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-1\">Chapter 1 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"1\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"3997\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-3997 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#toc\">\u00ab Table of Contents<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4065\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4065 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-2\">Chapter 2 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1875\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1875 \">  <h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>1.<br\/>\r\n<u>Raid<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The feel of a hand over my mouth wakes me in an instant.  Only the scent of that hand keeps me from going berserk.  It\u2019s Riddick\u2019s.  I lie perfectly still, unmoving, not even opening my eyes.  Whatever\u2019s up, he\u2019ll know I\u2019m awake.  Now it\u2019s time for me to listen, pay attention, and he\u2019ll let me know what\u2019s happening, as much as he can.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His voice is the barest thread of sound, hardly even a whisper. \u201cRaid in the building.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I open my eyes.  It doesn\u2019t help, of course.  We\u2019re in absolute darkness, as usual.  Vision isn\u2019t the issue yet if there\u2019s a raid, though.  Not unless we\u2019re the targets this time.  I focus my attention on the sounds around us.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can\u2019t hear anything unusual at first, but then I begin to pick up what Riddick\u2019s much more sensitive hearing has homed in on \u2014 cop sounds.  They\u2019re low and quiet.  They almost blend in with the normal <nobr>sounds\u2026<\/nobr> almost.  But like Riddick says, nothing else quite sounds like <nobr>a\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The loud crash directly below me would have made me jump and maybe even scream four years ago.  Now it just makes me flinch and my heart lurches.  Riddick\u2019s pulse doesn\u2019t change at all; I can feel it where his chest is pressed against my back.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cEverybody down!  Now!\u201d someone roars below.  Great.  Another damn drug bust.  Screams and gunfire erupt.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFuck,\u201d Riddick mutters, and grabs me around the waist.  He\u2019s on his feet a moment later and three light steps bring us to the metal desk.  Nine days out of ten that desk annoys the fuck out of me \u2014 I\u2019m not allowed to put anything on it \u2014 but suddenly it\u2019s my favorite piece of furniture.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick put it in the center of the flat, two days after we moved in.  I can\u2019t figure out where he finds those damn things, because it\u2019s the same model every time, on every planet.  It\u2019s not like we take them with <nobr>us\u2026<\/nobr> there\u2019s always one waiting on the end of every jaunt.  Heavy as fuck \u2014 I only <i>just<\/i> got strong enough to budge one a year ago \u2014 they\u2019re made of steel by some company that has factories on all the Frontiers.  Most of the colony planets are barren rocks, so there isn\u2019t enough wood or plastic, but there\u2019s plenty of metal.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Anyway, all the desks are big-ass things and Riddick gets them every time we settle somewhere.  They\u2019re our shields.  Duck under the desk if it\u2019s an attack from above.  Pull down the shield over the leg-well and you\u2019re guarded along the sides, too.  Climb on top if it\u2019s an attack from below.  That\u2019s what we do now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The cold surface slaps against my bare legs as Riddick dumps me onto the desktop.  He\u2019s on me a moment later, his body pressing mine down.  As always, getting between me and the danger.  Hot on one side, cold on the other.  Damn.  Not that I don\u2019t appreciate the gallantry, but Sir Shiv-a-Lot is <i>heavy.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But I know the drill.  Appreciate it a moment later when a stray bullet smashes through the floor, a beam of brilliant white light marking its trajectory and casting the room into bizarre relief.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Bright!  They must have the place downstairs lit up like Christmas.  More bullets spew through, and more beams of light begin to appear throughout our flat.  If they keep this up for long, our floor\u2019s gonna look like radioactive Swiss cheese and we\u2019re gonna crash through onto their heads.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Assholes.  Law and order and collateral damage.  Sometimes I hate this planet.  I hope the desk squishes someone when it goes down.  Of course, they don\u2019t know anybody lives up here; officially this apartment is <nobr>vacant\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Hot breath in my ear.  \u201cYou okay?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m good.\u201d  I can barely breathe with two hundred-plus pounds of ex-con piled on top of me, but hell.  I\u2019m still breathing, and that\u2019s the important thing.  Another bullet blasts through the mattress, tossing sawdust.  If I\u2019d still been on it, I\u2019d be dead or permanently sterilized.  My abdominal muscles spasm wildly for a moment with the bullet\u2019s phantom passage.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHurry up and kill \u2018em all,\u201d Riddick mutters.  It makes my lungs twitch with an aborted laugh.  You have to love <nobr>it\u2026<\/nobr> he doesn\u2019t care which side it is that wins; he just wants the shooting to stop so we can go back to sleep.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat for?\u201d I manage, trying not to wheeze. \u201cI\u2019m getting comfy.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His low chuckle sounds almost guilty and the pressure eases up.  Air!  Whoo!  I kinda like that stuff.  His hand moves to my cheek and I press against it.  Yeah, yeah, big guy, you\u2019re forgiven.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He always is.  I never can stay mad at him for long, even on those rare occasions when I can get mad at him at all.  Four years ago, he almost left my ass to die in a cave out in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by monsters who thought I should be their dessert.  I wasn\u2019t even mad at him then, and when he came back for me, I kinda fell in love.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Okay, that is <i>not<\/i> the thing to think about.  Not with his body pressing mine down like this.  And why the hell am I able to think about sex with bullets flying around?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick must be able to smell it.  \u201cYou\u2019re sick, kid.  You need help.  I can\u2019t believe you\u2019re getting turned on by a gunfight.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh no fucking <i>way<\/i> am I telling him what really has me turned on!  \u201cThat\u2019s right, man, yeehaaaaa, I just love the smell of gunpowder in the morning.  Gets me all hot\u2019n\u2019<nobr>horny\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShit, Jack!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh what?  Don\u2019t tell me screams don\u2019t turn <i>you<\/i> on, because I know better.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cKid, you keep this up, and you\u2019re gonna sleep alone from now on.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah <nobr>yeah\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That\u2019s the funny thing.  We\u2019ve traveled everywhere, and yet from the first time we curled up together in the skiff \u2014 with the exception of a two-week period when the asshole had vanished on me altogether and still won\u2019t tell me what happened \u2014 we\u2019ve never slept apart.  No matter what woman he\u2019s banging, or how much money we have, we always have one bedroom, one <nobr>bed\u2026<\/nobr> and when he\u2019s done with his current <i>thing<\/i> for the night, back he comes to it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I asked him about it <nobr>once\u2026<\/nobr> why we do this arrangement.  Not that I mind or anything \u2014 except on those nights when I have to stop what I\u2019m doing and stay high-and-definitely-not-dry because he\u2019s come home early and God knows I can\u2019t do <i>that<\/i> in front of him \u2014 but <nobr>it\u2019s\u2026<\/nobr> unusual.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He told me, the night I finally asked, that I\u2019m the only person he trusts.  He can sleep alone just fine but he likes the company better, and there isn\u2019t anyone else in the galaxy he\u2019s gonna close his eyes on like that.  Just me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Funny, I feel the same way.  Mostly.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cKeep <i>what<\/i> up, exactly?\u201d I suddenly ask him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell, I mean, if you don\u2019t like it when I talk dirty, that\u2019s fine, but it\u2019s never bothered you before.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFine, I won\u2019t run out on you.  Even if you are a casualty fiend.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell, I\u2019m studying to be a blood-sucking freak, but it\u2019s not working out too well.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He laughs.  \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A loud clang rattles the desk.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHoly FUCK!\u201d I gasp.  \u201cThose bastards!\u201d  That\u2019s it; we\u2019re moving <i>on.<\/i>  This planet is history.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou just can\u2019t get good neighbors anymore,\u201d Riddick quips.  \u201cSo how come being a blood-sucking freak isn\u2019t working?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Right back into the distractions.  Okay, what story should I make up, I wonder.  This is a standard game for us.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI have hemophobia,\u201d I mutter after a moment.  Riddick lets out a roar of laughter.  What <nobr>the\u2026?<\/nobr>  It\u2019s not <i>that<\/i> good a joke.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh.  <nobr>Well\u2026<\/nobr> shit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019s trying to distract himself from \u2014 and keep me from noticing \u2014 the fact that <i>he\u2019s<\/i> got some morning wood.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou jerk, if you\u2019re a casualty fiend too, you could\u2019ve just said so.  Making me feel like some kind of <i><nobr>perv\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/i>  Nice indignant grumble.  Points for the convincing <nobr>acting\u2026<\/nobr> extra gold stars for not shifting my position or pressing back against him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt was all that talk of blood,\u201d he insists.  \u201cYou know how I love it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHah!  I\u2019ve got your number now!  Blood!  Bloooooood!  Bl-bl-bl-<nobr>bl\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shouts of \u201cClear!\u201d begin to sound below us.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSounds like they\u2019re mopping up.\u201d  Riddick sits up and moves away from me.  I pretend not to notice the adjustment he makes as he climbs off of the desk.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah, about time, too.  You\u2019d kept me pinned for much longer and my ribs would\u2019ve stayed frozen that <nobr>way\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  I sit up and give him a grimace.  Anything but the cow-eyed look that\u2019s trying to creep over my face.  Climbing off of the desk too, I head over to the bed and begin examining the damage to the mattress.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Right where I would have been lying.  Jeez.  My stomach muscles clench hard.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick puts his hand on my shoulder.  \u201cThat one was closer than I like.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell, at least they weren\u2019t after us or anything,\u201d I manage.  My life keeps trying to flash before my eyes.  I keep telling it to fuck off because if there\u2019s anything that would <i>really<\/i> make me puke, it\u2019s my past.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo,\u201d Riddick agrees.  \u201cBut you\u2019d still have been dead <nobr>if\u2014\u201d<\/nobr>  He breaks off whatever he was going to say.  But I know what he\u2019s probably thinking.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">If he hadn\u2019t heard them coming.  If he hadn\u2019t understood what was going to happen.  If he hadn\u2019t pulled me out of the path of that bullet moments before it hit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">If he hadn\u2019t been <nobr>here\u2026<\/nobr> if he\u2019d let that bimbo from Niko\u2019s club take him home with her, and hadn\u2019t come back yet.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He would have come back to the place to find me dead or dying.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But he didn\u2019t.  Every time I\u2019ve needed him, he\u2019s always been here.  No matter what.  I turn to tell him that, and the words stick in my throat.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Silence fills the room, heavy and charged, as we <nobr>just\u2026<\/nobr> look at each other.  Below us I can hear someone being read his Miranda rights.  But <i>we<\/i> are the ones arrested.  By each other.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit, he isn\u2019t supposed to look at me like that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It takes every bit of strength I have, and leaves me feeling like a slug really <i>has<\/i> passed through my belly, but I force myself to look away.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo <nobr>big\u2026<\/nobr> we pulled through as usual.  You ready to catch some more zees?\u201d  Nice and offhand.  Perfect.  Painful as hell, but necessary.  Behind me, I hear him sigh.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah.  And tomorrow we start looking for a ticket off this rock, what do you say?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I lie down on the bed and turn on my customary side.  \u201cSounds like a plan to me.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He climbs in behind me after a moment and puts his arm around my waist, drawing me back against him.  I close my eyes and pretend that this is all I <nobr>want\u2026<\/nobr> just to be held.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can\u2019t have more.  No matter how much I really want it, I can\u2019t.  It would ruin everything.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There\u2019s no way I\u2019m gonna lose the only real friend I\u2019ve ever had.  Not for something as shitty as love.  No way.  End of story.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wish.<\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"3997\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-3997 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#toc\">\u00ab Table of Contents<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4065\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4065 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-2\">Chapter 2 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"2\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4000\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4000 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-1\">\u00ab Chapter 1<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4066\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4066 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-3\">Chapter 3 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1878\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1878 \">  <h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>2.<br\/>\r\n<u>Love<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Love is shit.  Idiot poets and rock stars may sing about it, but I know the truth.  It\u2019s shit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">So Big Evil, king of the cat-naps behind me, dropped off to sleep again pretty quickly, but I\u2019m still awake.  I feel cold and shaky but I\u2019m staying still as I can because if I wake him up, he\u2019ll get all <i>worried<\/i> about me.  He might try to <i>comfort<\/i> me, and the worst part of all is I might even let him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Life\u2019s a fragile thing; okay, I know this.  Tonight\u2019s hardly the first time I\u2019ve ever come this close to dying.  Riddick <i>used<\/i> to tell me to suck it up and get over it.  And you know what?  I miss that, because that sure as hell worked better than that fucking \u201coh-my-god-I-almost-lost-you\u201d look.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He always holds me close now.  I\u2019m getting used to it but I\u2019m not sure how good a thing this is.  Not that I\u2019m sure I\u2019d know what to do without it, <nobr>but\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fuck, this is a mess.  I don\u2019t want to be in love.  I don\u2019t want <i>him<\/i> to be in love with <i>me,<\/i> either.  Forgetting the rest of the reasons, it could get one or both of us killed.  Anyway, I thought we\u2019d gotten <i>past<\/i> all that crap.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Love is shit.  All those vids, where people are looking for it and finally find <nobr>it\u2026<\/nobr> you ever notice how the shows end once they do?  Yeah, they end right before the <i>real<\/i> trouble starts.  All that hearts-and-flowers crap disguises a poison so vile it\u2019ll kill you where you stand.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I know all about love.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">This-is-for-your-own-good-so-stop-crying love.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Come-sit-on-Uncle-Wally\u2019s-lap-and-pretend-you-don\u2019t-feel-his-hands love.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">After-everything-I\u2019ve-done-for-you love, in a thousand varieties.  There wasn\u2019t a single day she didn\u2019t say that.  The last time she ever said it to me, I was twelve.  She threw me out because my latest stepfather\/uncle\/whatever liked me too much.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I used to watch my mom get ready for her \u201cdates.\u201d  She looked like this fairy tale princess and she looked way too young to have a kid my age.  That was her stock in trade, so I was dead if I called her \u201cMom.\u201d  She was Justine, and if anyone asked, she was my older <i>sister.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Maybe she looked like a fairy tale princess, and I know I wished I\u2019d be as beautiful when I grew up, but underneath, she was a <nobr>witch\u2026<\/nobr> no, worse than that, she was one of those monsters straight out of a Grimm story.  Cinderella on the outside, but her soul lived in the scummy water under a crumbling bridge, and ate anything dumb enough to try to cross over.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She was thirteen years old when she had me.  No idea who my father is.  Just some guy, I guess.  For the first five years of my life we lived with her parents, and then something happened.  I don\u2019t remember what.  We moved out and I never saw them again.  Never had another birthday cake, either, until Riddick surprised me with one.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I had my eyes closed and I could hear him moving around me.  No idea what this surprise was gonna be.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cOkay, kid, you can open \u2018em up.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I blinked, and then blinked again.  There was a peach upside-down-cake \u2014 my favorite cake in the galaxy \u2014 on the table in front of me, and fourteen small candles were burning on it.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cHappy birthday.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>More blinking.  \u201cIt\u2019s <nobr>not\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cYeah, it is.  I got it all worked out.  Your original birthday was March 12, <nobr>right\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cHow did <nobr>you\u2014?\u201d<\/nobr> I\u2019d never told him that!<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201c\u2014<b>and<\/b> you spent thirty weeks in cryo, on the <\/i>Hunter-Gratzner<i> and the <\/i>Sam Spade.<i>  That right?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cOkay, yeah, <nobr>but\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cSo that means your new birthday is October 8.  Today.  Happy birthday.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cJeez, <nobr>Riddick\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  My eyes started to sting.  The amount of effort it must have taken him to find that out, and all so he could give me a birthday cake on the right <nobr>day\u2026<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cMake a wish.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I didn\u2019t need to.  I blew out the candles without hesitation.  My wish had already come true.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I still don\u2019t know how he found out.  I\u2019d never told him any of that shit, but he knows my real name and my birthday and all the shit I left behind.  I think he keeps hoping I\u2019ll ask him about it.  If he thinks I\u2019m going to ask him about my mother, though, he\u2019s crazy.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That day will never come.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Twelve years old, on your own, on the streets, and suddenly <i>everybody<\/i> loves you.  Yeah, I know all about love.  My friend Trey let me stay with her for a week but then her parents found out and next thing I knew, Social Services wanted to talk to me.  Last time they\u2019d gotten involved between me and my mom, once they weren\u2019t looking anymore, I couldn\u2019t lie on my back for a month.  I got the hell out of there and her brother\u2019s friend gave me a place to stay.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Gary.  I remember him vividly.  I even thought I was in love with him.  Probably was, too.   More proof that love is shit.  This time it was \u201cyou\u2019re-so-beautiful-and-smart-and-just-lie-still-okay?\u201d love.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He was a college guy, all suave and smart.  Maybe five or six years younger than my mom.  The first week or two nothing happened.  Then he and some of his friends had a little party at his place.  I was the guest of honor.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I don\u2019t really remember much.  Lots of booze.  These guys telling me how smart and pretty I was while they kept my glass filled.  Waking up the next morning, stiff and sore and with a pounding head, and one of them sleeping half on top of me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Funny thing was I didn\u2019t care.  Not then, and not for the next four months I lived there.  I just drifted.  Everybody liked me, nobody screamed at me or smacked me around when I screwed <nobr>up\u2026<\/nobr> sometimes the things they did even felt kind of <nobr>nice\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then Gary got busted because the whole time, he\u2019d been taking money from the guys who came over, and selling vids of the things they did with me.  Social Services grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and didn\u2019t let go this time.  I found myself in a \u201ctherapy home\u201d the next day.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The first week was hell.  Nobody even figured out right away that I was in withdrawal.  Yeah, I\u2019d been drifting <nobr>alright\u2026<\/nobr> on a sea of narcotics.  I ended up with two therapists, one for addiction issues and one for the rest of my fucked up existence.  The addiction therapist had this great big sign on the back of his office that said \u201cI.A.L.A.C.\u201d  He never tired of telling me that it stood for \u201cI Am Lovable and Capable\u201d and that I needed to believe that about myself.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Hell, I already knew <i>that<\/i> much.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I went along with the therapy, though.  Nobody was yelling at me or trying to hit me.  The shakes and pains sucked, but they didn\u2019t last all that long and everybody kept telling me \u201cyou\u2019ll be just fine.\u201d  Whatever.  At least they seemed to really believe it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Ten days after they pulled me out of Gary\u2019s place, my mother showed up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Four months must be a long time or something because my <i>loving mother<\/i> had gotten religion and when they interviewed her, she was some kind of total fucking saint.  Oh yeah, she\u2019d been a \u201cbad influence\u201d on me, but in the World According To Sister Justine, I\u2019d gone bad long ago.  She\u2019d never been able to control me.  And she\u2019d never thrown me out \u2014 I\u2019d run away from home.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Yeah, like I\u2019d have left Mister Grizzle and my aquamarine ring behind if I\u2019d had a chance to pack before she locked the door on my face.  And where the fuck did they think I\u2019d learned to fake an orgasm, anyway?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The worst beating I ever got was when she caught me playing with Barbie and Ken, making them do all the things she and her \u201cboyfriends\u201d did.  At age nine I could fake an orgasm almost as well as she could.  Ooh yeah, baby, yeah!<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But God had forgiven her.  Wouldn\u2019t forgive <i>me<\/i> yet, but He\u2019d forgiven Justine.  And Imam wondered why I didn\u2019t want to pray with him, either.  Riddick\u2019s got God\u2019s number much better.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She\u2019d even brought her pastor with her.  Reverend Luke Rubin.  And he swore up and down that Justine was saved, she was clean, she\u2019d turned her life around, and now she was a fit mother.  If they had any further worries, he wanted to set them at ease \u2014 she was living in a home he maintained, for reformed sinners who\u2019d seen God and wanted to live his way.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I remember thinking even then that the man looked familiar.  I couldn\u2019t think why, though.  Not until it was too late and I was back with my loving mother and her Reverend.  Then things clicked.  Then I realized where I knew him from.  Up until I was about eight years old he\u2019d been a regular of Justine\u2019s, until she started looking too old for what he wanted.  Me <nobr>though\u2026<\/nobr> I was just the right age.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now I got to experience a whole <i>new<\/i> kind of love. \u201cLove-me-and-obey-me-and-use-your-mouth-just-like-that-and-God-will-love-you-forever\u201d love.  Luke taught me how to do things that would have made Gary\u2019s knees buckle.  Even so, I didn\u2019t last long.  One minute you\u2019re a sinner, the next minute you\u2019re a pure lamb, with a man like Luke.  Depending, of course, on how well you\u2019re obeying his whims.  And when I disobeyed, even by accident, he had no problem reminding me what a whore I\u2019d been.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Two months of that love and I had to get out.  I couldn\u2019t live in his world anymore.  Every instinct inside me was screaming I\u2019d die, so I made a break.  I decided that nobody was trustworthy \u2014 not cops, not Social Services, not \u201cgood Samaritans,\u201d <i>nobody<\/i> \u2014 so I headed off-planet.  Wasn\u2019t hard to find a ship where the captain would take my particular kind of <nobr>currency\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Fuck.<\/i>  I let it happen, let my past come jumping out and grab me.  Now I\u2019m gonna puke.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s arm is heavy and hard to dislodge for a second \u2014 he\u2019s holding onto me really tightly \u2014 but I get him to let go and I head for the bathroom at a run.  I can hear him sitting up behind me but I don\u2019t care.  I\u2019m barely gonna make it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fuck!  I hate throwing up. I\u2019m still dry-heaving when Riddick\u2019s hands come to rest on my shoulders and I let out a miserable groan.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cStill shook up?\u201d  His voice is sympathetic.  It was easier back when he used to mock me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nod.  I can\u2019t talk about all the shit that got dredged up in my head.  I know he understands but it\u2019s still too much weakness right now.  He\u2019d want me to <i>lean on him<\/i> or something, and I can\u2019t.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Not the way it would end up, especially right now.  Right now I want to drift, lose <nobr>myself\u2026<\/nobr> the way I used to when I lived with Gary.  The way Riddick caught me trying to, two years ago.  And dammit, if I did, it\u2019d mean too fucking much to <nobr>him\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Finally, my stomach is no longer convulsing.  Now I just feel completely hollow.  I wipe my lips and he helps me climb to my feet.  Staggering over to the sink, I grab my toothbrush.  My mouth tastes like a goddamn sewer.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019s hovering.  Goddammit.  I brush my teeth and pretend it doesn\u2019t bother me.  Does he have to worry so much?  Doesn\u2019t he see what a great big fucking chink in his armor it creates?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The problem is, I don\u2019t think he cares about that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019s given me five birthday cakes since we teamed up, the last one just a month ago.  Every time it happens, I\u2019m a little surprised.  <i>I made it through a whole \u2018nother year?<\/i>  Asshole won\u2019t tell me when his birthday is, but he insists on making a big deal about mine.  We made <i>too<\/i> big a deal out of the last one and look what it got us.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I rinse my mouth out and look up at my face in the mirror, barely visible in the dim light.  I look like shit.  Bet <i>he<\/i> doesn\u2019t think so, though.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His hand on the back of my neck seems uneasy.  Like it\u2019s one impulse away from fidgeting, fiddling with my hair, kneading my vertebrae.  Something.  I look up at him in the mirror and our eyes meet and hold.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou ready for bed?\u201d  His voice is soft and carefully innuendo-free.  Maybe I\u2019m imagining the longing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah, I think so.\u201d  The first word comes out as a pained croak but then my voice manages to normalize.  I can see him frowning and his hand starts moving, as if he wants to put his fingertips on my throat and soothe it.  I shift my position a little and break the contact.  Too much.  Way too much.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He puts his arm around my waist and turns me back towards the main room.  I don\u2019t make a fuss.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Four years ago, when he was getting ready to move on after seeing Imam and me to safety, I told him I was moving on, too.  I remember the argument we had about it.  More than three hours of back and forth before he realized there wasn\u2019t anything that was going to make me change my mind.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Once he knew I was serious, and I was moving on with or without him, I made my offer.  Hell, what <i>couldn\u2019t<\/i> he protect me from, right?  And I figured hey, he was male, he\u2019d want what I could give him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He turned me down.  Flat out.  Said he\u2019d take me with him, but he wasn\u2019t taking that kind of payment.  Told me not to offer it again, either.  Gotta say I loved him for it, too.  Sometimes he pretended we <i>were<\/i> involved, if he caught someone looking at me the wrong way.  In situations like that, I really didn\u2019t mind him pretending I was his property.  His, as he puts it, \u201cprivate stash.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But I never have been and I can\u2019t change now.  Not even if he <i>is<\/i> in love with me.  Not even if it\u2019s mutual.  Not even if I <i>did<\/i> almost die tonight.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We climb back onto the mattress in a weird kind of synchronized movement and curl up together again.  He takes a breath like he wants to say something, but then stops.  After a moment, one large hand starts moving over my hair.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Don\u2019t do this, please.<\/i>  I can\u2019t say it aloud, but I think it.  <i>You know what\u2019ll happen if things go out of control.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I close my eyes and swallow against the sudden, bitter taste of impending loss.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I already told you what\u2019ll happen, if they ever do again.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Love is shit.<\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4000\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4000 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-1\">\u00ab Chapter 1<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4066\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4066 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-3\">Chapter 3 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"3\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4001\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4001 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-2\">\u00ab Chapter 2<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4067\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4067 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-4\">Chapter 4 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1881\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1881 \">  <h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>3.<br\/>\r\n<u>Crocodile<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Richard B. Riddick is dead.  He\u2019s been dead for more than four years now; everybody knows that.  He died in the famous Hunter-Gratzner crash.  Old history.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Except, of course, that he <i>isn\u2019t<\/i> dead.  But only three people know that for sure.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Some suspect, of course.  The similarities between the legendary Riddick and \u201cRick Cryer\u201d are pretty interesting ones, but most people just assume that it\u2019s deliberate copying.  He encourages it, even with his great big indignant act if someone accuses him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou think I\u2019m tryin\u2019 to be another Riddick?  Riddick was a <i>pussy!<\/i>  Put me in a room with him and you\u2019d better <i>know<\/i> who\u2019d be walkin\u2019 out of there!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">So most people let it slide.  After all, the crash is legendary now.  All of the salvage crews that went after it lost members to the natives.  Most of them didn\u2019t go looking for Riddick, either; they went because they wanted Ogilvie\u2019s stash.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Yeah, Paris P. Ogilvie\u2019s a bigger draw to that planet than Riddick.  Our antiquities dealer and entrepreneur, it turns out, was one of the best smugglers of rare artifacts in existence.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">You should have seen Riddick\u2019s face when I got my boomerang appraised and we discovered it was worth a cool million.  I will treasure that look forever.  Makes me wish I\u2019d taken the blow-gun too.  Oh well, not like we need it now.  \u201cRick Cryer\u201d makes a good living.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His price is going up, too.  People like his work.  You want somebody dead, and don\u2019t want it coming back to bite you on the ass, your best bet is Rick Cryer.  It\u2019s a fact.  Nine times out of ten, the police write the deaths off as accidents, but he always brings back the proof that they weren\u2019t.  Proof that only his clients ever see, of course.  Well, and usually me, too.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I picked out his new name.  I\u2019m pretty damn proud of that fact most of the time, too.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shined eyes are a pain in the ass.  The surgery is irreversible and even \u201cnormal\u201d light-levels are horrendously painful.  In those levels, your eyes sting.  Under really bright light, they feel like someone\u2019s stuck knives into them.  But you can still see.  Or he can, anyway.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The man gives new meaning to the word Stoic.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019ve seen people try to escape him by going into bright light.  He follows them without hesitation.  Imagine it: you\u2019re cornered, seconds away from death, and you look up at the man who\u2019s about to kill you and <i>tears<\/i> are streaming down his face.  A lot of people think they can get mercy from him when they see that.  They only realize those are crocodile tears when his matching crocodile smile appears.  And another one goes down.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">So a few months after we started out from Sufi Arabia, he still hadn\u2019t settled on what his new name ought to be.  He was going through the aliases like nobody\u2019s business, but a permanent name?  One to build a new professional reputation around?  It eluded him. \u2018Til I noticed all the rumors that had started up about \u201cthe Cryer.\u201d  People who had seen his kills in broad daylight talked about the assassin with the silver eyes and the <nobr>tears\u2026<\/nobr> and I kind of liked it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou have gotta be kidding me,\u201d he snorted in response when I told him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh come on, it\u2019d be great!\u201d  I was really kind of taken with the idea.  \u201cLike one of those old comic book heroes, you know, like Spiderman, <nobr>Superman\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cCrybabyman?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A minute or two later he got worried and thumped my back.  I couldn\u2019t stop laughing.  Tears were running down my face and I could barely breathe.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJeez, kid!  Look, no superhero names, okay?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cBut\u2026 but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He chuckled.  If I was able to talk, I\u2019d probably live.  He sat back as I wiped at my streaming eyes, a huge grin on his face.  \u201cBut what?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt\u2019d be just so cool!  You know, <i>The Cryer!<\/i>  The ace assassin who mourns your death even as he\u2019s killing <nobr>you\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJust how much time do you <i>spend<\/i> reading comics?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou don\u2019t think it\u2019d work?\u201d  I really half thought it could!<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo, I don\u2019t think it\u2019d work.  I\u2019d have a goofy-ass name and probably some goofy-ass uniform or something.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah!  And the tears thing, that\u2019d be like your <i>special power!<\/i>\u201d  God, I was such a geek!<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now Riddick was the one laughing.  \u201cToo many X-Men comics, kid!  So what would <i>your<\/i> super-hero name be, huh?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cUhhhhhh\u2026\u201d  That stymied me.  What would be a good name for <nobr>a\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI got it, we\u2019ll call <nobr>you\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  He deepened his voice dramatically, sounding exactly like a movie announcer for a moment. <nobr>\u201c\u2026Minor<\/nobr> Girl!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He gave me an evil smile.  <i>\u201cYour<\/i> power is jailbaiting men into committing illegal acts.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Dammit.  Ever since he caught me trying to charm my way into a free fifth of <nobr>Stoli\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShit, Riddick, lay off!  I promised I wouldn\u2019t do it again.\u201d  He\u2019d almost committed a free murder that day.  I\u2019m still not sure whether he would have killed my target, or <i>me.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOkay.  But I\u2019m not gonna be \u2018The Cryer.\u2019  You\u2019d make me wear <i>tights<\/i> or something.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The image of Richard B. Riddick, in <i>tights,<\/i> made me react in several ways.  I didn\u2019t know whether to laugh uncontrollably again, or excuse myself for a short trip to the bathroom for some privacy.  \u201cOh come <i>on!<\/i>  You\u2019d look great, and you know the ladies would be lining up to look at your equipment!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFuck!  No way, Jack!\u201d  Was he blushing?  I couldn\u2019t be sure.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell, how about just a private show for me, then?\u201d  I\u2019d discovered how fun it was to flirt with someone who wouldn\u2019t take you up on what you were offering.  It was very liberating.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cKid, you\u2019ve seen it.  Many times.  Why do you need to see it in tights, too?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I <i>had<\/i> seen it, repeatedly.  When you travel with a man, and you don\u2019t have much money \u2014 and we didn\u2019t, back then \u2014 you end up sharing everything.  Bed, bathroom, toothbrush, your one-shower-a-day <nobr>allotment\u2026<\/nobr> everything.  It was no big deal most of the time, unless Riddick hadn\u2019t managed to hook up with some honey for a while.  Then he got weirdly shy with me.  But honestly, he was a perfect gentleman about it all, even in the tiniest of shower stalls.  Who woulda thought?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell, you\u2019ve let me see, but you\u2019ve never let me <i>touch,\u201d<\/i> I mock-grumbled.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s eyes went wide, half in genuine shock and half in mock-horror.  His voice when he responded, though, was pure theater.  \u201cYou\u2019d <i>break<\/i> it!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I gasped and burst into laughter.  \u201cWould not!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYes you would!  I know your plan now \u2014 this is all about breaking my dick!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I grinned, trying to picture how <i>anyone<\/i> could manage to do <i>that,<\/i> and drawing a blank.  \u201cWell shucks, sheriff!  You caught me.  I\u2019m one of those evil ballbusting twentieth century feminists.  I traveled five hundred years forward in time just to get at your dick.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He snorted with laughter.  \u201cPenis envy!  I knew it!  You know, Freud was right about you women!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWas not!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh yes he was!  All you wanna do is get at my dick!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I gave him a big pout. \u201cYeah, but you won\u2019t let me.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI told you, you\u2019d <i>break<\/i> it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHah.  You <i>know<\/i> that thing\u2019s unbreakable.  That could be your <i>other<\/i> superpower.  The Dick Of Steel.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That made him <i>roar<\/i> with laughter.  \u201cKid, I am <i>not<\/i> going the superhero route!  No \u2018the Cryer,\u2019 no \u2018Dick O. <nobr>Steele\u2026\u2019<\/nobr> Give it up and let it go.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The name gave me pause.  Then I smiled.  \u201cWhat about Cryer as a last name?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He frowned pensively, considering it.  Well, he hadn\u2019t said \u201cno\u201d yet, so I pressed on.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou could be Rick Cryer.\u201d  I grinned.  \u201cStick with your real first name and you don\u2019t have to worry about accidentally answering to your old name when you shouldn\u2019t.  You can say you misheard \u2018Riddick\u2019 as \u2018Rick,\u2019 and you\u2019ll <i>still<\/i> be a Richard.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt\u2019s a possibility,\u201d he conceded.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cPlus it\u2019d be really cool.  You know, people wanna know who you are, and when you tell them, they <i>know<\/i> you\u2019re the <nobr>Cryer\u2026<\/nobr> you just say \u2018Cryer. Rick Cryer\u2019 and <nobr>they\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh that\u2019s <i>it!<\/i>  No more James Bond movies, no more comic <nobr>books\u2014<\/nobr>\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat, am I supposed to delve into your porn collection instead?\u201d  I snickered at his poleaxed expression.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShit, kid, aren\u2019t you supposed to be into horse stories or something?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well <i>hell.<\/i>  The only horses I\u2019d ever seen in person came in three-packs.  But he didn\u2019t want to know about that, I was pretty sure.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Anyway, I more or less won.  Richard B. Riddick became Rick Cryer.  He actually bought me some books in the <i>Black Stallion<\/i> series but they were just way too alien to me.  I tried, but honestly, if horses are so smart, how come they can\u2019t survive on any of the colony worlds?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He always did want me to get to have a normal childhood.  I think it really grieves him that it was too late before he ever reached me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I haven\u2019t managed to go back to sleep.  Riddick has, but I can\u2019t stop thinking.  My brain won\u2019t shut the hell up.  Now I <nobr>feel\u2026<\/nobr> guilty.  Like I should have been a better person all this time, somehow.  Like I should have managed to have a normal childhood, normal adolescence, just so if I\u2019d died tonight he wouldn\u2019t have to feel I\u2019d never had a <nobr>chance\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m facing him now, in the loose circle of his arms.  At least now he isn\u2019t holding onto me so tightly.  He looks totally relaxed and at peace.  I guess for him it\u2019s over.  He comes inches from death so often that I think he lives totally in the present; anyway, his sin list is so long by now that there\u2019s no point trying to undo anything or think about might-have-beens.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But I wish\u2026<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wish I could have things back the way they were before.  When we still laughed and <nobr>joked\u2026<\/nobr> and flirted.  The flirtation stopped after <i>it<\/i> happened.  Everything changed.  Now I can\u2019t joke with him about ripping off our clothes and boning <nobr>away\u2026<\/nobr> not when he really <i>wants<\/i> that.  Tonight was the first time we managed to make any kind of jokes like those, and I wish I could believe it meant things were getting better.  But I saw what was in his eyes.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wish I could take everything back.  Undo all the changes.  Or find some way to feel what he needs me to feel.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Maybe if I\u2019d had a normal childhood, things would be different now, and I could give him what he wants from me.  Looking at him now, I wish I could.  Would it be so hard?  I could <nobr>just\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>pretend\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">More than five years since I last saw Luke but my mind has no trouble conjuring his voice or the feel of his hand on my chin.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cDid you like that?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cYes, I loved it.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>That superior smile of his.  \u201cI could tell.  That was real, wasn\u2019t it?  Good girls really feel what whores only pretend to.  And you\u2019re a good girl, aren\u2019t you?  This is love, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>My body ached and stung but my smile was Oscar-worthy.  \u201cYes, Luke.  I love you.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I close my eyes again and swallow against another bubble of nausea.  I can\u2019t pretend.  I can\u2019t lie to Riddick like that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can\u2019t be a whore again.  Not even if I\u2019m <i>his<\/i> whore.<\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4001\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4001 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-2\">\u00ab Chapter 2<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4067\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4067 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-4\">Chapter 4 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"4\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4002\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4002 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-3\">\u00ab Chapter 3<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4068\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4068 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-5\">Chapter 5 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1884\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1884 \"><h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>4.<br\/>\r\n<u>Bait<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Sometime before dawn I must have finally managed to fall back asleep, because the room is bright when I wake up.  I\u2019m alone and the sun has obviously been up for hours.  Riddick did what he usually does when I sleep in, tucking all the pillows and blankets around me.  If he were around, I\u2019d joke about him trying to turn me into one of Paris\u2019s mummies.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He always answers that joke by reminding me that those sarcophagi were filled with booze.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I frown a little, remembering the miniature King Tut\u2019s sarcophagus he put on the table after my birthday dinner.  I opened it up and it was full of miniature liquor bottles.  My own private Paris stash.  Of which I drank entirely, irrevocably too much that night.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Give it a rest.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">In broad daylight it\u2019s easier to cope with last night\u2019s gunfight.  I glance around the apartment and notice that Riddick\u2019s cleaned the place up.  Stray bullets and shredded bits of flooring have all been removed.  And he did it all without waking me.  Damn.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Usually, if I sleep <i>that<\/i> deeply, there\u2019s a surprise waiting for me when I wake up, a reminder of the fact that I\u2019ve dropped my guard.  Doesn\u2019t look like he did one today, though.  I guess he decided I was feeling too vulnerable already.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Okay, I love him for that, but I wish he wouldn\u2019t worry so damn much about me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I climb out of bed and look around.  Something smells nice, so I head over to the kitchen area.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well <i>Jeez,<\/i> he made me breakfast and left it in the warmer.  I pick up the note on the counter.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"margin-top: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><blockquote><i>At Niko\u2019s.<br\/>Call in the code before you touch the door or windows.<br\/>Back soon.<br\/>R.<\/i><\/blockquote><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Wow.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We have one of the top-line security systems on the apartment.  Okay, it\u2019s not <i>our<\/i> apartment; it\u2019s one of several dozen safe-houses Niko lets people on his payroll stay in when they\u2019re planetside.  They\u2019re not bad, but as we discovered last night, the neighbors can really suck.  Riddick\u2019s only ever armed the security system here once before.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I guess this is a <i>gentle<\/i> reminder that my guard dropped so completely.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shrug and take out the food.  Mushroom omelet, bacon, and toast.  Orange juice in the fridge.  The man would make someone a great wife.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can\u2019t cook for shit, myself.  Once a year, I give it a try, and then we have to open all the windows and turn on all the fans to get the smell of burning <i>whatever<\/i> out of the place.  I think the only reason he lets me try to cook at all is so he can make fun of me for the next few weeks afterward.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But <i>damn,<\/i> he makes a great omelet.  Another of those \u201cwho woulda thought?\u201d moments with Richard B. Riddick.  Escaped convict.  Murderer.  Master <i>chef.<\/i>  Just imagine the possibilities.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Or don\u2019t.  Now that I think about it, some of them are kind of gross when you phrase it that way.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">This kind of pampering isn\u2019t anything overly new.  He\u2019s always watched out for me, protected <nobr>me\u2026<\/nobr> long before <i>subtext<\/i> appeared.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I finish the omelet and juice and clear my plate, wanting to hit the shower and be dressed before Riddick gets back.  There was a time when I didn\u2019t care if he walked in on me when I was naked.  But back then, he didn\u2019t care about what he was looking at.  Just another female body, one he was rather fond of guarding, but that was it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now his eyes <i>burn<\/i> into me.  Now I avoid being naked around him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He knows it, too.  We both know how much has changed between us, but there\u2019s no way to undo it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick doesn\u2019t care what temperature the shower water is, but I like it hot.  I turn the hot water way up and add just a dash of cold to keep it from raising blisters, strip down, and step in.  I love showering.  Sometimes I think I\u2019d be perfectly happy to spend my whole life under a rain of warm water.  The one time I told Riddick that, he rolled his eyes and started quoting <i>MacBeth<\/i> at me.  He\u2019s right.  There have been a few times, during our acquaintance, when I thought I\u2019d never get clean again. <\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s methods of therapy when he catches me Lady MacBething around are extreme but effective.  Jerk.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The shower is also where I usually go when I need to have a good cry on my own.  Ironic that I keep doing it when he always catches me.  The water really doesn\u2019t cover bone-shaking sobs too well.  But nothing does, I guess.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Today, however, I\u2019m just going to have a normal wash. Last night\u2019s events, scary as they were, ranked pretty low on the Trauma Scale.  Maybe a four.  It takes a seven or higher to make me get crazy in here.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I pour some shampoo into my hand and smile at the scent.  The one time I switched away from this kind, Riddick bought me another bottle and made the new brand disappear from our apartment.  He likes this scent in my hair, I guess.  Never said a word about it, but that little antic of his was a pretty clear message.  It wasn\u2019t worth fighting over; I\u2019d only tried the other brand because the vid ads looked so interesting.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The shower is making a funny little sound, like the tinkling of crystal and silver and china in a fancy restaurant.  Maybe I\u2019m imagining it.  It makes me think of the night Riddick and I were out, dining on an overly-lavish expense account because he\u2019d secured his first big-time contract since he got his new name.  The night his mark practically climbed into his lap.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The first time he ever used me as bait.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d never been in a place like that before.  <i>Lagasse,<\/i> named after some twenty-first century chef from New Orleans, exactly the kind of place you\u2019d find in the French Quarter of <i>New<\/i> New Orleans.  I was in complete awe of the whole atmosphere, and even more amazed by the way Riddick was able to blend in.  It had never occurred to me that he would be one of those men who didn\u2019t just look good in a suit, but made the <i>suit<\/i> look good.  Where does a man who\u2019s spent half his life in prison learn that kind of grace and class?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I just felt awkward.  The dress he\u2019d gotten me was gorgeous and probably could have bought a year\u2019s groceries for the two of us, and I was terrified I\u2019d get a stain on it.  I even had makeup on.  There wasn\u2019t much I could do about my hair, though.  It was only about three inches long, anywhere on my head, so the only thing I\u2019d been able to do was give it a bit of curl and let it sit there.  Around me, most of the women had sleek, upswept chignons and elaborate French braids.  I looked like a Chia Pet in comparison.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick chuckled when I muttered that observation.  \u201cNah, you look great.  C\u2019mon, eat up.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI have four forks and no food.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">At that moment a large bowl of salad miraculously appeared in front of me.  I glanced up and saw that a bowl was in front of Riddick as well.  The pair of waiters who had pulled this amazing move were already quietly disappearing on us.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJeez!\u201d I hissed once they were <i>hopefully<\/i> out of hearing range. \u201cIt\u2019s the Restaurant On Haunted Hill!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He chuckled again.  \u201cThey like to do that.  They appear and put down the plates simultaneously.  Look to your left.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I turned and watched as six waiters descended upon a party of six at a nearby table.  Again, the plates went down in unison, but nobody seemed alarmed, even though I was <i>sure<\/i> the people hadn\u2019t seen the waiters coming until the last second.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhere do they train to do that? Pierre\u2019s School For Ninja Waiters?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He grinned. \u201cNah, but they do train.  That\u2019s part of why this restaurant has four stars, kid.  Now eat.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I glanced at the array of forks and then looked over to see which one Riddick had picked.  Asshole!  His hand was poised over the lot of them, <nobr>waiting\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>waiting\u2026<\/nobr> just <i>waiting<\/i> for me to pick one first.  It wasn\u2019t like he was going to follow my lead.  No sir.  He just wanted another chance to laugh at me.  Dork.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I felt like we were two gunslingers standing in the middle of a dusty road, for a moment.  Hands poised not above guns, but above forks.  I scowled at Riddick.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDraw, pard\u2019ner.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He smirked and selected his weapon of choice.  I picked up mine as well and hoped he wasn\u2019t going to do the \u201cclean-it-with-your-napkin-and-put-it-back-down-and-choose-the-<i>right<\/i>-fork\u201d routine on me.  I waited until he actually had some lettuce speared with it before I did the same.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now, I still wonder this \u2014 salad is salad, right?  Lettuce, <nobr>veggies\u2026<\/nobr> how the hell is it so much better at a restaurant like <i>that?<\/i>  The salad was damn amazing and I still don\u2019t know how they did it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSalad fairies, kid,\u201d the big dweeb across from me said when I asked him.  \u201cSalad fairies.  Now eat.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat would have worked eight years ago, but not now.  Dick.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cRick,\u201d he corrected me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cCrybabyman.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Hah, I got him!  He\u2019d just taken a sip of wine and had to spit it back into his glass.  Point to Jack B. Badd!  Behind those shades of his I wondered what his eyes were doing.  Probably sparkling.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There was the salad course and then the soup course and then the main course, and we were halfway through dessert when he stiffened, moving into what I thought of as \u201calert mode.\u201d  He only stayed that way for a second and then went back to being unaffected, but it was long enough for me to know something <i>big<\/i> had happened.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMy mark just came in.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHere?  Wow.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick looked unsurprised, though, and it suddenly occurred to me that the reason he could put a place like this on his expense account was that it was a \u201chunting ground,\u201d somewhere his mark <i>would<\/i> come. I wasn\u2019t sure why he\u2019d brought me along, except that Autrichien had smirked at me in a strange way when we were finalizing the arrangements.  Whatever that smirk meant, though, was beyond me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I raised an eyebrow at Riddick.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFran\u00e7ois Renault,\u201d he replied, understanding my question.  \u201cReal estate tycoon who has made more than a few enemies.  He owns some of the best riverfront property in New Louisiana and hasn\u2019t <nobr>been\u2026\u201d<\/nobr> He quirked his eyebrow back at me.  <nobr>\u201c\u2026receptive<\/nobr> <nobr>enough\u2026<\/nobr> to Autrichien\u2019s offers.  So now he\u2019s made a <i>mortal<\/i> enemy.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I grinned with a bloodthirsty eagerness I\u2019d never feel again after that night.  \u201cThis sounds like a job for The Cryer,\u201d I proclaimed.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He smirked and shook his head, and then answered me in equally theatrical tones. \u201cActually, this is a job <nobr>for\u2026<\/nobr> Minor Girl!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He took a moment to finish off his pie before answering.  I\u2019d already bolted mine down, it was so good, and had grabbed a passing waiter and asked for a second piece to be boxed up for me.  Finally Riddick set down his dessert fork and grinned at me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cRenault has a very large weakness.  Girls.  <i>Young<\/i> girls.  I think if the right girl winked at him, as he was leaving this place, he\u2019d follow her into any number of dark alleys.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My heart had jumped into my throat.  I felt suddenly breathless, a mixture of elation and trepidation overwhelming me.  Riddick wanted me to lure his mark to him?  Hot damn, I\u2019d hit the big time!<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOkay, what do I need to do?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He grinned.  \u201cI\u2019ll settle the check.  You go into the ladies\u2019 room and get yourself ready.  Give him the eye when you leave the restaurant, so he notices you.   I\u2019d say <i>he\u2019ll<\/i> be leaving in about half an hour.  Walk around and window-shop until then, and then be back so he\u2019ll see you when he comes out, and lead him to the Trois Soeurs alley a block east of here, between the antique shop and the adult bookstore.  I\u2019ll do the rest.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I took a deep breath.  <i>I\u2019m ready for this.  I\u2019m ready.<\/i>  \u201cOkay, which one is Renault?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHe\u2019s two tables behind us and one over to your right.  Gray hair, brown eyes, pale gray suit.  Eating alone.  When you come out of the ladies\u2019 room you can walk right past him on your way out.  Make sure he gets a good look at you and wants to see more.\u201d <\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOn it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He winked at me and signaled for the check, and I rose to my feet.  My legs wanted to be unsteady but I made them behave.  Picking Renault out, I reached into my purse and grabbed the little perfume atomizer inside, spritzing a bit onto my wrist.  Heady stuff.  Sexy.  Expensive as hell.  I wanted my scent in his nose for the rest of his meal.  I wafted past him on the way to the ladies\u2019 room, adding an extra sway to my walk.  <i>That\u2019s right, mister.  The sexiest girl alive just walked past you.  Don\u2019t you wonder what she looks like from the front?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I went into the bathroom without a backward glance.  Half an <nobr>hour\u2026<\/nobr> I had plenty of time.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Five minutes later I decided that I couldn\u2019t look any sexier.  It was a good thing I\u2019d already taken out the lip-ring and nose-ring earlier, in preparation for this swanky meal.  I loved them, but I suspected Renault would have found them a turn-off.  The first time Riddick saw them, he\u2019d made snide jokes about getting some little leashes made up for me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I leaned forward and kissed the mirror.  \u201cYou\u2019re a hotter piece of jailbait than your mother on her best day,\u201d I whispered, and then grimaced, wishing to <i>God<\/i> that things like that didn\u2019t matter to me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Showtime.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Renault looked like he\u2019d been struck by lightning when he spotted me.  I swayed past him again, never breaking eye-contact, and gave him a very special smile, just for him, on my way out.  Once on the street I had to restrain the urge to giggle insanely.  Now I just needed to play it cool, and be handy when he emerged.  I spent my time checking out the nearby stores, coveting some of the things inside, and speculating on the kinds of security systems they used and how to beat them.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Finally he emerged, running about ten minutes late.  <i>Shit, don\u2019t let him have taken a trip to the Little Boy\u2019s Room to \u201cshake off\u201d my <nobr>effect\u2026<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I walked past him again, heading towards the alley.  His eyes widened as I passed.  We both turned, in an almost-mystical synch with each other, and our eyes met again.  I gave him my most promising smile, suddenly wondering if he might even recognize me.  I\u2019d seen the title of one of Gary\u2019s vids in a nearby adult store, the week before, when Riddick and I were playing at being tourists.  It was a good thing Riddick hadn\u2019t noticed it, or realized its star was standing next to him, or there might have been a mass killing spree that day.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But if Renault had a kink for little girls, he might indeed have seen my \u201cwork.\u201d  And since the vids were only about two years old, if he had, he would probably recognize me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I might as well have grabbed the man\u2019s tie and pulled, the way he followed me.  I glanced back now and then, giving him encouraging smiles, until we reached the alley and I turned in.  For a moment he hesitated at its mouth, so I ran my fingers over the neckline of my dress and pushed it down, a little, over one shoulder.  That was all it took and he was mine again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Back and back I went, until I was an inch away from the trashcans at the dead end.  Where the hell was Riddick?  <i>C\u2019mon, big guy, your turkey is dressed and ready for carving.  Where are you?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Renault moved up to me and reached out, touching my cheek.  \u201cI know you,\u201d he said in a strange, breathless voice.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit, I had to improvise.  Keep him going until Big Evil made his move.  \u201cDo you?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019ve seen you <nobr>before\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>somewhere\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I took his hand and pressed it to my lips, drawing one finger in.  He gasped.  Releasing it, I gave him my naughtiest, dirtiest smile.  \u201cMaybe <nobr>in\u2026<\/nobr> dreams?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Dammit, Riddick, you asshole, would you just <b>get<\/b> here already?<\/i>  The son of a bitch was bending in for a <i>kiss!<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That was when a strong set of arms suddenly jerked him back.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJack, you idiot, this is the <i>wrong alley!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Shit!<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Renault\u2019s eyes and mouth went wide as brilliant silver skated across his throat.  I reeled away, but not fast enough, and a gout of hot crimson liquid splashed over my chin, throat, and chest.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">God!  I staggered back, sputtering and gagging even as Renault fell.  Standing behind his twitching body, Riddick glared at me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThe alley I <i>told<\/i> you to go to leads to a deserted street.  Just how the fuck are you planning on walking home on Rue Dauphine covered in <i>blood,<\/i> <nobr>you\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI didn\u2019t <i>know!<\/i>  I thought this was the one you said!  Between the antique shop and the adult <nobr>bookstore\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fuck, I hadn\u2019t even looked at the signs.  Practically <i>every<\/i> shop in the New French Quarter was either hawking antiques or porn.  My first time helping Riddick and I\u2019d fucked up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He sighed, exasperated, and pulled off his suit coat.  \u201cPut this on over your dress.\u201d  He took a handkerchief out of the pocket before handing it to me, and then began to wipe at my chin and throat as I shrugged into it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d never felt anything like that blood.  It was <nobr>hot\u2026<\/nobr> it was <i>living.<\/i>  He\u2019d sprayed Renault\u2019s life force all over me and for a moment I\u2019d felt it clawing at mine, as though begging me not to let it die.  At our feet, Renault made a final, horrific gurgling sound and went still.  A hard shudder suddenly passed through my body.  Oh God, what had I <i>done?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We got home safely, thanks to Riddick.  The second we were in our apartment I threw his jacket on the bed and practically ran for the shower.  Ripping the dress off, I tossed it in a wastebasket as I headed into the bathroom.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick followed me, leaning in the doorway behind me.  \u201cYou know, blood does wash out.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI don\u2019t want it.\u201d  I kicked off my shoes as I dialed the water up to its hottest setting.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick watched me silently for a moment as I stripped, and then shrugged.  \u201cSuit yourself.\u201d  He left, then, and I climbed under the water.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My first time as bait, I thought, and I\u2019d blown it.  I figured he\u2019d never use me again.  In fact, I was wrong.  He used me as bait three more times.  But after the fourth time, and the disaster that followed, he never did it again.  He never even asked, thank God.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But that night was the first time I\u2019d ever had a hand in someone\u2019s death, and I felt changed.  Irrevocably altered.  I suppose it\u2019s the way most girls feel after they lose their virginity, although I can\u2019t be sure.  I lost mine in such a chemical haze that I didn\u2019t feel much of anything.  But that <nobr>night\u2026<\/nobr> I definitely <i>was<\/i> changed.  I crossed over a line that I could never cross back <nobr>over\u2026<\/nobr> and I lost a piece of myself, for good or ill, that I could never, ever recover.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It\u2019s the way I felt a month ago, the day after my eighteenth birthday.  When I woke up in Riddick\u2019s arms, our naked flesh pressed together in a way that it never had before, and realized just what we had <nobr>done\u2026<\/nobr> and what our drunken tryst had probably cost me forever.<\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4002\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4002 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-3\">\u00ab Chapter 3<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4068\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4068 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-5\">Chapter 5 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"5\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4003\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4003 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-4\">\u00ab Chapter 4<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4069\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4069 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-6\">Chapter 6 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1887\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1887 \"><h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>5.<br\/>\r\n<u>Stuck<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well, wouldn\u2019t you know it?  I guess I\u2019m not going to make it after all.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m still wearing a towel, and using another one to dry my hair off, when a low buzz I hadn\u2019t really noticed suddenly cuts out.  It\u2019s the security system and someone has just disarmed it.  Riddick.  A minute later I hear the key in the lock.  Guess I\u2019ll just have to let him see me get dressed.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It occurs to me that this is really, really stupid.  Why should I care if he sees me naked?  He\u2019s seen me that way repeatedly, for more than four years, and I\u2019ve seen him.  We have no secrets.  We\u2019ve showered together a lot.  He\u2019s seen me take god only knows how many pisses and craps and change dozens of tampons.  Hell, the time I was going crazy with my first yeast infection, <i>he<\/i> was the one who figured out what was wrong and ran out to the store to get me a treatment kit.  And <i>I<\/i> know exactly how far over the street-legal weapon length his equipment is.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">So how the hell is it that, after all we\u2019ve seen and done, one stupid, drunken roll in the sack turns me into some blushing-virgin-wannabe?  How can something as meaningless as sex have that kind of power?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It\u2019s not me.  Well, I don\u2019t <i>think<\/i> it\u2019s me.  After the first week we got over it and things went back to normal.  Except for the way he sometimes looks at me.  And it\u2019s that look that drives me crazy and makes me want to cover up whatever part of my body his eyes have fallen on.  Intense.  Beyond intense.  His eyes aren\u2019t just on me, they\u2019re <i>in<\/i> me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It\u2019s not like those guys at Niko\u2019s place, either, who I swear can rape you with their eyes.  That just rolls right off me.  What do I care whether they\u2019re looking?  A pig\u2019s a pig\u2019s a pig.  Sometimes it\u2019s tempting to tell them \u201cgo buy the fucking vid and it\u2019ll last longer.\u201d  Three or four titles are still in circulation, from what I hear.  No, what Riddick does is different.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">When he looks at me like he does, I feel guilty for not just <i>giving<\/i> myself to him.  Jeez.  It\u2019s bizarre.  It\u2019s some mixture of lust and wistfulness and dammit, how the hell can a man who\u2019s killed more than a hundred people at close range look like a <i>hurt puppy?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He doesn\u2019t look like one right now, though, as he comes into the apartment.  He just looks tense.  Like he\u2019s holding in a breath and not looking forward to letting it out.  That means he has bad news.  But a smile twitches over his face when he sees I\u2019m up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHey, there.\u201d  He closes the door behind him and begins to pull off his jacket.  \u201cYou get enough sleep?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nod, dropping the wet hair towel into the hamper.  \u201cYeah, I think so.  Thanks for breakfast.  It was delicious.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Never, ever fail to compliment a good cook.  For a man who says \u201cfuck\u201d in almost every other sentence, Riddick can be a real stickler for manners.  He grins at me now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou\u2019re welcome.  Feeling better?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I hold out my hand, palm down.  No shakes.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019d call that a good sign,\u201d he says with a grin.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nod.  \u201cSo, how soon can we get out of here?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now he sighs.  Yeah, I was right.  \u201cThat\u2019s the bad news.  Not for at least another two weeks.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cTwo weeks?\u201d<\/i>  It pops out like that before I can help myself.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHe promises he\u2019ll do something about the apartment below us,\u201d Riddick tells me, holding up his hands in a weirdly conciliatory gesture. \u201cHe\u2019s not any happier about having his place shot up than we were.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah, because market devaluation is <i>right there<\/i> on par with having your guts <nobr>splat\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJack, come on.  Calm down.  We\u2019ve been through worse, haven\u2019t we?\u201d  He looks a little exasperated.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I try to calm myself.  I don\u2019t know why Niko creeps me out as much as he does, but I shouldn\u2019t take it out on Riddick.  I know that.  I really do.  Taking a deep breath, I nod.  Yeah, we\u2019ve been through worse.  Much worse.  \u201cSo, <nobr>uh\u2026<\/nobr> how come we have to stay another two weeks?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHe says he has some jobs for us.  Looks like one of the other syndicate heads is playing power games, and he needs muscle.  But he also says he\u2019s got some stuff for you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">For me?  Okay, I <i>am<\/i> starting to make a name for myself but I wouldn\u2019t even be <i>noticeable<\/i> to a shark Niko\u2019s size except for the way I\u2019m Riddick\u2019s little sidekick.  He\u2019s got <i>tons<\/i> of thieves and hackers at his disposal.  What would he want with me?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick sees the question in my eyes, I guess, and shrugs to indicate that <i>he<\/i> doesn\u2019t know either.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell, could we maybe move to another place?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAll his houses are full up.  He\u2019s brought in helpers from all over.  Either he thinks someone is about to make war on him, or he\u2019s planning on a preemptive strike of his own.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI thought that was the kind of thing we didn\u2019t get involved in.\u201d  Last night sure reminded me just how literal being caught in the crossfire can get.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMe too, but I had to give him something.  If I\u2019d flat out said we were leaving he might\u2019ve decided we\u2019d jumped whatever fence he\u2019s worrying about, and had us killed just to be sure we couldn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I sigh and rummage through my dresser drawers, pulling out some fresh clothes.  \u201cYou sure can pick \u2018em, Rick.  I\u2019m almost missing New Vancouver, with all this.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m done dressing by the time I realize I just stripped down in front of him without a thought.  Maybe we\u2019re getting over things after all.  That\u2019d be nice.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLook, the second we can go, we\u2019re out of here.\u201d  Riddick\u2019s voice is exasperated and firm.  That little jibe about New Vancouver hit home.  \u201cOkay?  Let\u2019s just get through the next two weeks.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Deep breath.  I hold it for a second, and then release it.  I can make it two weeks in this shithole.  I\u2019d better be able to.  I know what the penalty for losing it will be.  \u201cOkay.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His arm comes around my shoulder.  \u201cLook, if you want to stay out of Niko\u2019s place, or <nobr>something\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019d better not.\u201d  I lean back against Riddick and let him put his arms around me.  \u201cLike you said, we don\u2019t want him thinking we\u2019re anywhere near the fence.  And anyway, after last night I think I like being right next to you if the shit\u2019s gonna hit.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He chuckles.  \u201cThat\u2019s my girl.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Argh!  Not your girl, Riddick, can\u2019t <i>be<\/i> your <nobr>girl\u2026<\/nobr> shit.  Shit!  Where the <i>fuck<\/i> is my head?  He\u2019s called me that for years; it\u2019s just a brotherly thing, right?  If he called me his <i>woman,<\/i> we\u2019d have a problem, but he didn\u2019t <i>say<\/i> that.  Why is it that now I can\u2019t stop hearing subtext in even the most innocent remarks?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Because it\u2019s right there.  I can feel it in the way he\u2019s holding me.  There\u2019s a strange tension in his body that never used to be in him.  But now he almost hums with it.  He\u2019s restraining himself.  He knows what it\u2019ll ultimately cost him if he doesn\u2019t; we <i>had<\/i> that talk.  Afterwards he slept on the opposite side of the bed from me for a week, and moved to the couch the one time I rolled over and put my arm on him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Again the temptation comes to just let go.  Let it happen, drift and be his.  I could do it.  He\u2019d never know that I wasn\u2019t having the time of my <nobr>life\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d know.  That\u2019s bad enough, isn\u2019t it?  I\u2019d know I was a liar and a faker and a whore.  I close my eyes and swallow, fighting against the sting in my eyes and nose.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWe\u2019ll be okay,\u201d Riddick murmurs.  Thank God he\u2019s misreading my reaction.  \u201cIt\u2019s just two weeks.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah,\u201d I manage.  \u201cWe\u2019ll be <nobr>fine\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He must really think I\u2019m upset about that, because now he\u2019s leading me over to the bed.  \u201cC\u2019mon.  I\u2019ll scratch your back, and you\u2019ll feel better, okay?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I grin against my will.  <i>That<\/i> started up the night he killed Renault, and it\u2019s become our tradition.  It\u2019s a very literal \u201cI\u2019ll scratch your back and you scratch mine\u201d deal.  I don\u2019t even remember whose idea it was.  Pulling my shirt back off, I lie down on my stomach and pillow my head on my arms.  This is safe.  This is the essence of safety.  Riddick has almost no nails but they feel great as they begin to abrade my skin.  Sometimes he doesn\u2019t even get his turn because it\u2019ll relax me so much, I\u2019ll go right to sleep.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That first time, though, I was wound too tight.  That first time, I had too much screaming inside me.  At least he managed to calm it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I didn\u2019t realize I\u2019d been scrubbing at my skin like someone demented until I\u2019d been at it for fifteen minutes.  Sometime during then, I\u2019d begun to cry.  Whether out of remorse or because I thought I\u2019d fucked up and disappointed Riddick, I still don\u2019t know.  I never even knew I <i>was<\/i> crying until the shower curtain was pulled back and Riddick stepped into the stall, fully dressed, and pulled me into his arms.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He was clean, and in fresh clothes.  He must have cleaned himself up in the kitchen while I was hogging the shower.  But he didn\u2019t bother turning off the water, just held me and let my tears soak the part of his shirt the shower stream couldn\u2019t reach.  His hands stroked me, from the top of my head to my lower back, and then starting the journey over, but no other part of him moved.  He stayed still and resolute until I was cried out.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The water had noticeably cooled when he reached over and shut it off.  Tilting my chin up, he gave me the tiniest hint of what <i>might<\/i> have been a tender smile.  \u201cYou okay?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I sniffled. <nobr>\u201cYeah\u2026<\/nobr> I think <nobr>so.\u201d<\/nobr>  My voice hitched between every word, but we both pretended I sounded fine.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGood\u2026 how about we get you dried off?\u201d  Now one of his normal, ironic grins appeared.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSounds good\u2026 you could use a towel yourself.\u201d  It was a lame joke but he did me the kindness of giving it a better laugh than it deserved.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We stepped out and he wrapped me in a large towel.  As I began to dry myself off, he stripped out of his soaked clothes and wrung them out before dropping them into the hamper and grabbing his bathrobe.  I pulled mine off of its hook and drew it on, too.  Glancing over at the wastebasket as I left the bathroom, I noticed that my blood-stained dress was gone.  I frowned but let it slide.  I didn\u2019t want to know where it was. Instead I headed for the tissue box so I could blow my nose.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSorry about all that, Rick.\u201d Honk.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201c\u2018Bout what?\u201d  He sat down on the edge of our bed, tilting his head the way he often did when he was both serious and amused.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cScrewing up like I <nobr>did\u2026<\/nobr> and losing it like that.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou didn\u2019t screw up, Jack.  I should\u2019ve showed you the alley, not just told you where it was.  I just said \u2018east\u2019 and forgot how you can get turned around if you don\u2019t know the French Quarter.  You went west by mistake.  That\u2019s all it was.  A mistake anybody could have made.\u201d  His voice was unusually gentle.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t have made it.\u201d  One more honk into the tissues to make sure I was clear.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019ve been at this game since I was your age.  I made a <i>lot<\/i> of mistakes when I started out.  Now c\u2019mere.\u201d  He held out his hand, the arm a little to the side, the way he did when he wanted me to let him put it around my shoulders.  I came over and sat down beside him, letting him pull me into his embrace.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What a strange place to find peace and security, held by one of the most accomplished, cold-blooded killers the galaxy has ever known.  He could snap me like a twig if that was what he wanted to do.  But I felt safer with him than with anyone else I\u2019d ever met.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOkay\u2026 but I\u2019m still <nobr>sorry\u2026<\/nobr> for losing it like <nobr>that\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cKid, sometimes I envy you.\u201d  Now that was an eye-popper of a statement if I ever heard one.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhen I\u2019m on a job, I don\u2019t feel much of anything.  Not fear, empathy, anything.  I haven\u2019t felt <nobr>anything\u2026<\/nobr> hell, in decades.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I glanced up at him and was surprised by the pensive look on his face.  He drew another breath, so I let my surprised words die, and just listened.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFirst time I ever killed a guy, I puked my guts out.  Sometimes I miss that.  Being able to <nobr>feel\u2026<\/nobr> even feel sick.  I felt it when Carolyn died, <nobr>and\u2026<\/nobr> I dunno.\u201d  He frowned and looked away for a moment.  \u201cWere you crying for him?  Renault?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shrugged, and tried to figure out the answer.  The man in the alley had wanted to use me.  He\u2019d stared at me with the romantic fever of someone completely enslaved by an obsession, not seeing me, just seeing a dream that he couldn\u2019t shake.  But he hadn\u2019t seemed like a <i>bad<\/i> guy, <nobr>otherwise\u2026<\/nobr> Autrichien gave me the creeps just by <i>being<\/i> in a room, and did much worse things for much worse reasons.  Hell, on a moral scale, Renault had probably been a better person than the man holding me and stroking my hair right then.  <nobr>But\u2026<\/nobr> I hadn\u2019t been crying for him.  I\u2019d been crying <nobr>for\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo, I think I was crying for me.\u201d  Funny.  That\u2019s who my tears had been for, back on the planet, when he told me not to cry for Johns.  Not the merc.  Not the man I\u2019d heard telling Riddick to kill me.  <i>Me.<\/i>  I could be very self-centered at times.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh.\u201d  Absolute understanding was in Riddick\u2019s voice.  \u201cI\u2019m sorry about that.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wasn\u2019t sure why, exactly, but I felt a thousand times better.  \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His hand was moving over my back, restless, scratching at my skin through the fabric of my robe.  I arched against his touch like a happy cat, and heard him chuckle.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHere, lie down and I\u2019ll do this right.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then I was on my stomach, my robe gone, a part of my brain wondering if he\u2019d changed his mind after all and this was the start of a very <i>different<\/i> relationship.  But he just scratched my back.  Just.  By the time he was done I was ready to <i>purr<\/i> like a cat.  It was the loveliest thing anyone had ever done for me, so it was only <nobr>natural\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYour turn.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He chuckled and slipped out of his robe, lying down on his stomach.  I pulled mine on and grinned to myself.  This was definitely new territory for me.  New, but right.  I felt safer and more at home than ever before.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJeez,\u201d I commented, my fingers skating over his skin.  \u201cI gotta be really careful here.  Or do you want me to scratch that deep, too?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s back had seen some action.  Of course, I already knew what a lot of his predilections were, but this was one of the first times I\u2019d really examined the damage his girlfriends would do.  That could get as fierce as a snarling catfight.  He bit; they scratched.  It was this whole <i>thing.<\/i>  Some of the welts on his back from his games were deep.  Some would leave scars, even.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNah,\u201d he chuckled, \u201cthis feels great.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou\u2019re crazy, you know.  One of these days your back is going to get <i>infected<\/i> on you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201c\u2026Lets me\u2026 <nobr>feel\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  His voice was drowsy and thick.  I scratched his back for a little longer, until the first snore.  Then I covered him up and climbed into the bed beside him, at peace.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Ah, that memory calms me.  It reminds me of what we have that\u2019s worth keeping, that I never, ever want to lose.  I frown a little, though, remembering <i>our<\/i> night together.  How come he didn\u2019t try to play any of his usual games with me?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou okay?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah\u2026\u201d  My voice is a relaxed purr.  \u201cI think it\u2019s <i>your<\/i> turn.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He chuckles and I sit up, pulling my shirt back on even as he removes his.  Just like old times.  My fingers begin to skate over his skin, moving gingerly to <nobr>avoid\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Nothing.  Not a <i>thing.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There are no scratches on his back.  No welts where a woman\u2019s nails bit in deep and then raked across his skin.  Nothing but old, old <nobr>scars\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well shit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Nobody\u2019s scratched him in weeks, I realize.  In a <i>month,<\/i> to be exact.  Since my birthday.  Since the night <nobr>we\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fuck.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It suddenly snaps into focus for me.  Early nights.  No disappearing into back rooms with scantily-dressed women on or off Niko\u2019s payroll.  How the fuck did I miss it?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick hasn\u2019t <i>touched<\/i> another woman since the night <i>we<\/i> had sex.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Just what the hell do I do about <i>this?<\/i><\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4003\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4003 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-4\">\u00ab Chapter 4<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4069\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4069 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-6\">Chapter 6 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"6\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4004\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4004 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-5\">\u00ab Chapter 5<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4070\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4070 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-7\">Chapter 7 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1893\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1893 \"><h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>6.<br\/>\r\n<u>Confessional<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Okay, I\u2019m going to admit it.  I fantasize about Riddick having sex with me.  A lot.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But there\u2019s this funny thing that happens on the road from fantasy to reality and it\u2019s called fear.  Actually, it\u2019s called flat-assed, yellow-bellied, chickenshit terror.  Not of him.  Of myself.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There are moments when I know how ridiculous it is.  I don\u2019t <i>always<\/i> have my vision clouded by ghosts from the past.  I know that most of the women Riddick\u2019s been with have enjoyed his attentions, and the few who didn\u2019t were too professional to let it show and probably wouldn\u2019t enjoy <i>any<\/i> man, anyway.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The problem is, those last <nobr>women\u2026<\/nobr> they\u2019re what <i>I\u2019m<\/i> like.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">So I have these elaborate dreams about the things the two of us would do.  I imagine him on top of me, inside me, his hands and mouth <nobr>everywhere\u2026<\/nobr> but if I see the look in his eyes that means he actually <i>wants<\/i> me, I lock up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And I\u2019ve seen that look a <i>lot<\/i> since my eighteenth birthday.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He hid it from me for years, damn it.  I never realized.  Hell, I <i>offered<\/i> to exchange sex for protection back at the beginning, and he turned me down.  And the whole time, he really <i>did<\/i> want me.  Or at any rate, he came to at some point.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m pretty sure he wanted me two years ago <nobr>after\u2026<\/nobr> the <nobr>disaster\u2026<\/nobr> but he didn\u2019t take me then, either.  Well, at least, I remember him trying to hide his hard-on from me.  Maybe he thought I was too fragile at that point or something, but even after I was over the whole thing he <i>still<\/i> didn\u2019t make any moves, and I was legal on nine out of ten worlds already.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m obsessing over this.  And I\u2019m obsessing over <i>him,<\/i> too.  Now I finally know, for real, what it feels like to have him inside me, and my fantasies are even hotter and more vivid than ever.  They just turn to ice if he\u2019s actually in the room.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">This is Luke\u2019s fault.  Before him, I was every man\u2019s girl.  After him, I wasn\u2019t <i>any<\/i> man\u2019s.  Not to say I didn\u2019t do a <i>lot<\/i> in the space lanes.  But I stopped being able to feel.  Two months with Luke and a year on the run before Riddick got to me, and everything inside me just shut <nobr>down\u2026<\/nobr> at least, where <i>sex<\/i> is concerned.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Funny how that makes Riddick and me the biggest, most whacked-out pair of dysfunctional bookends in the universe.  He kills and can\u2019t feel anything, and wishes he could.  I fuck and can\u2019t feel anything, and wish I could.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m lying when I say that.  That\u2019s not what I\u2019m afraid of and that\u2019s not why I threatened Riddick the way I did, after our one night together.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">When it\u2019s <nobr>him\u2026<\/nobr> when it\u2019s <nobr>Riddick\u2026<\/nobr> I feel entirely <i>too much.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It scares me, okay?  It just scares me.  I thought I was going to explode and die.  Especially at the end when <nobr>he\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Dammit, I\u2019m trying to <i>forget<\/i> all that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He fell asleep while I was scratching his back.  Now my hands are just resting on the planes of muscle and bone that compose him.  He\u2019s beautiful.  A little darker than when I first met him, but he still doesn\u2019t get a lot of sun.  I don\u2019t either.  Sometimes I\u2019m surprised he doesn\u2019t complain about my pale skin blinding his shined eyes or something.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But <i>his<\/i> skin is just beautiful.  Everybody thinks so.  The women at Niko\u2019s talk about him all the time.  They compare it to caramel and toffee and speculate on whether it tastes as good as it looks.  They say it where I can hear them, on purpose.  After all, who would know better what his skin tastes like than Rick Cryer\u2019s \u201cprivate stash?\u201d  I usually smile and say \u201cbetter.\u201d  There was one night when I had to fake a huge coughing fit after a girl said he had <i>taffy<\/i>-colored skin.  It got worse when my mind, which can be very cruel to me at times, took it one step further.  Just imagine the taffy-pulls <i>that<\/i> would engender.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And just try keeping a straight face in a public room after a girl puts <i>that<\/i> image in your head.  Jeez.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick roared with laughter when I told him, and started speculating with me about which flavor of taffy she might have meant.  I tell him all that stuff, you see.  He loves it.  We don\u2019t have any secrets from each other.  I\u2019ve even walked in on him having sex, and sometimes afterwards I\u2019ve commented on his technique \u2014 or his partner\u2019s technique \u2014 just to see if he\u2019d blush.  The only time I ever succeeded was the time I told him I could give a much better blow job than the one he\u2019d gotten that night.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShit, Jack!\u201d  He was half out of his clothes, getting ready for bed, and damn if he didn\u2019t suddenly walk over to the closet door, open it, and stand behind it to finish changing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat?  It\u2019s the truth.\u201d  Seriously, I could have.  The woman was a <i>total<\/i> amateur and I thought she was afraid she\u2019d gag or something.  Maybe my walking in on them had made her nervous, too, but she didn\u2019t seem to have a clue what she was doing.  I was <i>way<\/i> past that league; I knew all the tricks.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFine, whatever.  You\u2019re only fifteen, kid.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo?  By my guess she was ten years older, and she <i>still<\/i> sucked <nobr>at\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>uh\u2026<\/nobr> sucking.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWould you give it a <i>rest?\u201d<\/i>  He changed out of his pants and into his boxers without emerging.  Damn, I\u2019d rattled him good.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell, I just think you didn\u2019t get your money\u2019s worth.\u201d  I shrugged and lay back on my side of the bed, grinning.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick gave me an exasperated look as he dropped his clothes into the hamper.  \u201cI didn\u2019t pay her anything, Jack.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI rest my case.\u201d  Now I was just being evil.  I felt my grin widen when he growled at me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou,\u201d he grumbled, pointing a finger at me, \u201care supposed to be trying to have a normal teenage existence.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh <i>yeah!<\/i>  I\u2019m going to find that on Ballard\u2019s premises?  Rick, the oldest of the other kids around here is <i>eleven.<\/i>  And they\u2019ve all spent their whole lives with blinders on or something because they have no <i>idea<\/i> what their fathers <nobr>do\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat\u2019s the whole <i>point,<\/i> kid.  You\u2019re supposed to be getting <i>shielded<\/i> from this stuff.\u201d  He hadn\u2019t used me as a decoy since the fiasco with Renault, having somehow decided that I needed to be protected from his \u201cdark side.\u201d  But a reminder of that night still lurked in our closet.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOnly way that\u2019d work is if you got me a room in the girl\u2019s wing of the kiddie dorm, and I\u2019m <i>not<\/i> moving in there.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He froze.  A funny look came over his face, and I knew again that he was weighing that option and finding it sorely lacking.  He didn\u2019t <i>want<\/i> to sleep alone, without me next to him.  And hell, I didn\u2019t want that to happen either.  I still don\u2019t, no matter what I told him a month ago.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Sometimes in the middle of the night, if I have one of my awful dreams, I\u2019ll wake up and just watch him for a while.  His calm power, even in sleep, always soothes me and reminds me that <i>nothing<\/i> can ever sneak up on me again.  Not a monster from that planet, not a ship\u2019s mechanic with a coil of rope, a box of tools, and a hard-on, <i>nothing.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He does the same thing, too.  There have been plenty of times where I\u2019ve wakened to find him hovering over me, gazing down.  One time he watched me for more than an hour, even though he knew I\u2019d woken up and was watching him right back.  It was surreal but it felt <i>right,<\/i> somehow.  In the last month there have been a few moments when I wondered if he was about to break the deal and pounce me, the hell with the consequences, but even so, it felt right to see him watching over me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I guess it\u2019s an important part of what we have, something we don\u2019t want to lose no matter what.  I know it must have been important to him, that night almost three years ago.  Because the second I even brought up moving into the dorms, he dropped the whole \u201cnormal adolescence\u201d shtick.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Ballard\u2019s place was huge.  At least twice the size of anything I\u2019ve seen of Niko\u2019s.  It was different, too.  Ballard had this whole \u201cFamily Values\u201d vibe going.  Part of that probably came from the fact that more than half his business was technically legitimate, defense contracts with the Colonial Governors.  Nobody there really approved of us.  A thirty-year-old man sharing his bed with a teenage girl half his age didn\u2019t exactly figure well into Family Values.  Our usual smokescreen almost got us kicked out, but Riddick almost didn\u2019t know it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There were apricot trees growing wild on part of the estate.  I\u2019d found them on one of my rambles, one day when Riddick and a number of Ballard\u2019s other enforcers were off handling a \u201ccomplication.\u201d  The trees weren\u2019t ripe yet, laden down with fruit that was mostly green but was starting to acquire a hint of a golden glow to it.  But among them I could find a few ripe fruits.  You had to be careful.  Usually when they ripened early it was because a worm had invaded them.  I was meticulously slicing a fruit with my knife and cutting out the ruined part, when Mrs. Ballard showed up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThere you are, Jackie.  What\u2019s that you\u2019re eating?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d just put a thick sliver of nectar-sweet fruit into my mouth and had to clear it out of the way before I could answer.  \u201cApricot.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She frowned, and then looked around at the wild orchard.  \u201cIs that what these are?  I didn\u2019t realize.  I\u2019ve always loved their flowers, though.  I think this is the first year they\u2019ve fruited.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">They were fruiting a <i>lot.<\/i>  In another week or two, there were going to be tons of free fruit for everybody.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I searched through the small collection of fruit in my lap for one that looked the least worm-eaten.  \u201cWant one?  Gotta be careful of worms in them, but they\u2019re really good.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYes, thank you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She smiled and accepted the fruit I was offering her, and took out a knife of her own.  In that moment she reminded me \u2014 so powerfully it <i>hurt<\/i> \u2014 of Shazza.  The same mixture of fine breeding and rustic resilience.  Shazza\u2019s death had almost crippled me, back on the planet.  She\u2019d offered to take me in.  She and <i>Zeke<\/i> had, but after his death, she\u2019d told me she needed me even more than ever.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">For two days, between then and the eclipse, I\u2019d had a mother. One I knew I could really love and would never have to be afraid of.  Her death had been a brutal reminder that the universe didn\u2019t want me to be happy.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Mrs. Ballard looked nothing like Shazza but in that moment it felt like they could have been twins.  I watched her as she carefully cut her apricot, flicking its worm down onto a rock and crushing it beneath her boot heel, and excising the ruined flesh from the fruit.  She looked up at me and gave me a kind smile.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHow long have you traveled with Mr. Cryer?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shrugged, counting up.  \u201cAlmost a year and a half now.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I could see her doing the math, figuring out how old I must have been.  \u201cHow did you two meet?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Nobody knew we were survivors of the <i>Hunter-Gratzner.<\/i>  After all, the only legitimate passenger left, who was using his own name, was the Holy Man.  I shrugged again and gave her my usual story.  \u201cI got into some trouble and he bailed me out.  Decided we should stick together.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Usually I punctuated the story with a knowing, insinuating wink, but this time for some reason I skipped over that embellishment.  In a few minutes I would be glad I had.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Mrs. Ballard\u2019s mouth flattened a little.  \u201cI can\u2019t say I approve.  Especially given the way he also cuts a swathe through <nobr>the\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr><i>doxies\u2026<\/i><\/nobr> who show up at all of the parties.  I\u2019ve asked George to have you moved into the <nobr>dormitories\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo.\u201d  Maybe it was rude to interrupt, but there was no way I was letting that happen.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Disapproval melted a little, or at least thawed, and gave away to some curiosity.  \u201cWhy not?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI have nightmares.\u201d  That part was even true, although they hardly ever happened anymore.  \u201cBad.  Bad nightmares.  The things he rescued me from.\u201d  I looked down and messed around with one of the apricots for a moment, thinking about monsters.  Monsters of all shapes and <nobr>sizes\u2026<\/nobr> a few of them hadn\u2019t even been human.  Riddick had saved me from all of that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Mrs. Ballard didn\u2019t make a sound.  She was watching me intently when I looked up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shrugged and tried to finish my explanation in a way that didn\u2019t make me sound like a total emotional basket case.  \u201cI just need to know he\u2019s there when I wake up from one of those dreams, you know?  So I know I\u2019m still safe.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Her expression was shrewd.  \u201cYou two <i>aren\u2019t<\/i> sexually involved, are you?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fuck.  Caught.  But I couldn\u2019t bullshit her any more than I could Shazza, and <i>she<\/i> figured out I was really a girl even before Riddick did.  Slowly, I shook my head.  I hoped I hadn\u2019t just fucked us both, but her face cleared.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cA smoke-screen.  Yes, I can see that.  He\u2019s worked for a lot of unsavory <nobr>characters\u2026<\/nobr> he would need a way of making sure they didn\u2019t try to touch <nobr>you\u2026<\/nobr> without revealing how much he really <i>cares<\/i> about you.\u201d  She smiled, and ate another slice of apricot.  \u201cI have to say I feel a lot better about this, now.  I don\u2019t especially mind the fact that many of George\u2019s men are killers \u2014 there\u2019s no way around that when one is in his business.  But the idea that we had a pedophile on our estate just didn\u2019t sit well at all.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHe\u2019s not a pedophile.\u201d  My voice had gone indignant.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh, I know that <nobr>now\u2026<\/nobr> and don\u2019t worry.  Only George and I will ever know the truth here.  Although I would appreciate it if Rick would tone down the \u2018private stash\u2019 remarks a little, while you\u2019re here.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I found myself grinning.  \u201cI\u2019ll tell him.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Mrs. Ballard grinned back at me and stood up, dusting off the back of her elegant slacks.  \u201cThank you, Jackie.  I\u2019m glad we had a chance to talk.  I feel much better about things now.  If you ever need <nobr>anything\u2026?\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019ll come right to you.\u201d  I had to grin over it.  If I\u2019d still been in the market for a mother I\u2019d probably have ended up <i>glued<\/i> to her.  But I had Riddick now, and that was even better.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSee you at dinner, dear.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I watched her walk away, and marveled at how the next few apricots were even riper and sweeter than the ones I\u2019d eaten before.  Even now I can taste them.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m resting my head on Riddick\u2019s back, remembering those apricots, when he growls and begins to roll over.  I lift myself up to let him and start to sit up, but he draws me back to him as he finishes shifting onto his back.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHow long did I sleep?\u201d  His voice is partially drowned out, in one of my ears, by the sound of his heartbeat.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMaybe half an hour.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHmm.  You feel up to coming with me to Niko\u2019s tonight?  See what it is he wants you to do?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I sigh.  I hate Niko\u2019s place.  I wish we\u2019d never left the Ballard estate.  Even Autrichien was better.  \u201cYeah, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhatcha thinking?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI was remembering Veronica Ballard.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHmmm.\u201d  Apparently he\u2019s in one of his growly, thoughtful moods.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhy\u2019d we leave there, anyway?  I liked it there.\u201d  Hell, I\u2019d even gotten into camelback riding there, the ultimate genteel sport.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Yeah, camels have managed to survive on worlds where horses can\u2019t, even worlds as lush and green as Tepper\u2019s World.  They have a kind that has no hump, as a result, which I think was bred just for that planet.  They\u2019re cool, unless you piss them off, and then they\u2019ll spit at you.  I\u2019m not talking about a little bit of wet hitting your face either.  It\u2019s a great, big, smelly gob of camel-phlegm and masticated hay, and if you\u2019ve ever wondered where the expression \u201cgob-smacked\u201d <i>came<\/i> <nobr>from\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cPolitics.  There were gonna be a bunch of planetary elections, and Ballard needed his staff to be squeaky-clean.  We\u2019ll go back there someday.  It\u2019s not like he\u2019ll never need my services again.  But you know how it is.  Can\u2019t have a tabloid snapping pictures of \u2018The Cryer\u2019 and his Private Stash riding camels around your estate, you know.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI was just <i>thinking<\/i> about camel-riding.\u201d  I grin up at him.  True to my promise, I got Riddick to drop the \u201cprivate stash\u201d references for the rest of our stay there.  The Ballards pretended to turn a blind eye to our ostensible relationship, but they became much friendlier toward Riddick after that talk.  It was a shame we had to leave.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick chuckles.  \u201cGo pick out something to wear tonight, okay?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I grin and get up, heading for my closet.  Luckily, it doesn\u2019t seem any damage was done in there by the gunfight.  My hands start pawing through my outfits, and come to a stop.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The silk dress.  <i>The<\/i> silk dress.  It feels cold against my hand.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">After Renault\u2019s death, I\u2019d tossed it in the trash.  And it had vanished from there, only to show up in my closet, spotless and as perfect as the day Riddick had bought it for me, a week later.  I didn\u2019t wear it, though.  I couldn\u2019t bring myself to.  But no matter where we went, it was always in my closet, even when I\u2019d tried to \u201cforget\u201d it and leave it behind.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I finally got used to seeing it, and even started to like it again after a while, but I couldn\u2019t get up the nerve to actually wear it for the longest time.  Part of me thought it was jinxed.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I was right, too.  I hate it more than ever, now.  I never should have put it on again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Did seeing me in it <i>do<\/i> things to Riddick\u2019s head, or something?  If I\u2019d been wearing some other dress for my birthday, last month, would everything be different?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That\u2019s really stupid, I know.  My dress didn\u2019t seduce him.  And it sure as hell didn\u2019t seduce <i>me.<\/i>  I can\u2019t really blame it for what happened between us.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But I want to burn it anyway.<\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4004\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4004 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-5\">\u00ab Chapter 5<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4070\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4070 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-7\">Chapter 7 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"7\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4005\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4005 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-6\">\u00ab Chapter 6<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4071\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4071 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-8\">Chapter 8 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1896\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1896 \"><h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>7.<br\/>\r\n<u>Vipers<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I hate Niko\u2019s place.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">You walk in and it\u2019s like some old-time bordello.  I probably wear more clothes than any other woman in the building, and the only reason I can get away with it is because I\u2019m Rick Cryer\u2019s Private Stash, and a professional criminal in my own right.  Almost all the other women my age are strippers and whores.  There are a few others more or less like me, scattered around, but it\u2019s definitely Dirty Old Man territory.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then there\u2019s the political bullshit.  There\u2019s a definite pecking order, and if you make eye contact with the wrong person, there\u2019ll be a fight.  You have to know where you are on the totem pole, who\u2019s above you and who\u2019s below you, and you have to keep track at all times because it changes.  And you have to be careful, too, to not let the people <i>below<\/i> you on the totem pole get any legs up, because they will try.  And I\u2019m usually not the one who has to fight when this shit happens; Riddick is.  I fuck up and he pays.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019s taught me how to fight, though.  Just in case some bitch decides that <i>she<\/i> wants to be Rick Cryer\u2019s Private Stash and tries to take me down from my \u201cthrone.\u201d  I\u2019m very well trained but he tells me I should never show it off.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThe less people know about what you can do,\u201d he\u2019s told me repeatedly, \u201cthe less of it you have to do.  Fight to win, but don\u2019t go far enough over their level that the bigger fish realize you\u2019re a threat to <i>them.<\/i>  Not until you\u2019re ready to <i>be<\/i> that threat.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And it\u2019s not my job to be the threat.  That\u2019s his job.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>My<\/i> job is still undefined, but it definitely falls into the \u201csneaky\u201d category.  And, as with my fighting skills, he\u2019s been adamant that I never show off my full range of abilities there.  So people know I can pick pockets, but not that I can pick locks or crack a simple safe.  They know I can hack into computers and write basic viruses and worm programs, but not that I can write ones they\u2019ll never find on their systems, but which will let me remotely control anything I want.  Hell, as a precaution, Riddick had me slip a little something into Niko\u2019s system weeks ago, and his sweepers haven\u2019t spotted it yet.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That doesn\u2019t make me feel <i>any<\/i> better about going into his place tonight.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019ve picked out my outfit and Riddick\u2019s picked out his, and we\u2019ve gotten changed. He\u2019s moving around in the kitchen while I take a few more deep breaths, trying to get my equilibrium in order. Going into Niko\u2019s place unnerves me worse than handling a job.  I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m ready for <i>either.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That gives me an idea.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s putting away dishes when I walk up and give him my sweetest, most innocent hug. I feel the way he tenses up, and that sends a spark of guilt through me. Especially given what I\u2019m doing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDid I remember to thank you for breakfast?\u201d Pure innocence.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He forces himself to relax and gives me an almost-natural smile. Damn. More guilt on me. \u201cYeah, you did.\u201d Now real affection appears on his face and the moment of awkwardness is past.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I grin up at him. \u201cGood. Couldn\u2019t remember if I had or not. Maybe sometime you could teach me the recipe?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That gets a genuine laugh out of him. \u201cFor what possible point?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I giggle and lean away, mission accomplished. \u201cYou got me there. I\u2019ll just have to get you to make omelets more often by threatening to try, myself.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He shudders theatrically and I move away. One step. Two. Behind me I hear him turn on the water. Three. Four.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOkay, little girl, you bring my wallet right back here.\u201d He mostly sounds amused, but there\u2019s a current of annoyance mixed in.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I turn around and take the wallet out of my pocket, giving him a rueful grin. I\u2019d like to have gotten farther away before he realized. Still, I lifted it without him noticing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He turns off the water, leans against the counter and just watches me for a moment, accepting the wallet when I hold it out to him. \u201cYou know,\u201d he finally says, \u201cI was really nice to you this morning. Didn\u2019t put you through any tests or anything, and <nobr>now\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now I <i>do<\/i> feel ashamed, on <i>several<\/i> levels. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I wasn\u2019t trying to take advantage of you. I was testing myself to see if I was really up for Niko\u2019s. I mean, steady hands are all well and good, but that still doesn\u2019t mean they\u2019re ready for a heist.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His expression softens. Damn. Now I feel even more ashamed. I feel like the biggest user, taking advantage of his affection for me to sneak up and steal his wallet, especially since I knew my physical proximity would distract him with thoughts of a relationship we can\u2019t have.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then again, at least I know my hands are ready for tonight.  Which is a good thing because it\u2019s showtime.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Jack.\u201d  Riddick puts his arm around me and steers me toward the apartment door. \u201cI know what you mean. Been there more than a few times myself.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nod, remembering. For weeks after we escaped that planet, Riddick was in a state of deep confusion, unsure of who or what he was anymore. Fry had found a chink in his armor and pried it right open and he wasn\u2019t sure how to close it back up or even if he should. Imam tried to open it up even more and save his soul or something, but eventually he had to resist.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">After all, no matter how repentant he might get, he was hardly going to willingly go back to prison.  I saw the list of the things lined up for him if he was recaptured and I can\u2019t blame him. They use chemicals now instead of scalpels, but lobotomized is lobotomized and castrated is castrated, and that\u2019s just for starters. By the time it was over, he\u2019d be harmless as a kitten but they\u2019d still toss him back in with the man-eating tigers.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">So he could hardly stand up and announce \u201cHi, I\u2019m Richard B. Riddick, and I\u2019m really sorry for everything I did, and I\u2019m ready to take my medicine now.\u201d Some pills are going to choke you to death no matter what.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">One of Niko\u2019s cars is in the apartment garage, there for our use.  Riddick opens the door for me and I get in, treating myself to a few more deep breaths.  It\u2019s a short ride but we never talk anyway; there might be bugs in the car that eluded our detection, or were added since our last sweep.  Instead, I find myself thinking about that moment when Riddick slipped back into crime.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Maybe he could have made a new life for himself, but not one he liked.  He was thirty years old and he had no money, no identity papers, and no formal schooling.  He could <i>get<\/i> those things, and get all the credentials he needed, but not legitimately, and he could barely get a job bussing tables without them.  When nobody <i>wants<\/i> the Straight-laced You, it makes recidivism easy.  And maybe, like me, he just discovered he couldn\u2019t <i>fit into<\/i> that tidy, orderly, <i>innocent<\/i> world Imam wanted us to belong to.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That world\u2019s a cage, and I still don\u2019t know which one of us \u2014 me or him \u2014 started wanting to break out of it first.  At least he took me with him when we did.  I know for a fact the only reason I\u2019m not back at my old trade \u2014 or dead in some ditch by now \u2014 is that he took me in. Instead, I was able to take up my hobby and make it my trade. From hooker to hacker in under five years. Not bad at all.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And fortunately, nobody\u2019s looking for Richard B. Riddick anymore.  Still, he has to be careful.  His fingerprints have been changed but if some law enforcement guy grabbed him and decided to run DNA, it wouldn\u2019t matter that Rick Cryer has a clean record.  He\u2019d be royally fucked.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">One day soon I\u2019ll be good enough to fix that for him.  I\u2019ll be able to breach the security systems of the GBI and then he really <i>will<\/i> be safe, and Richard B. Riddick will be dead forever.  I owe him that much, and more.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick pulls up in front of the club and we get out.  He hands the keys over to one of the valets, a big man with tattoos peeking out from under the wrists and collar of his formal coat, and we head inside.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The front room is a front, all right.  It\u2019s thronging with revelers, and most of them have no idea who owns the club or what he really does.  They\u2019re just here to drink and dance.  Occasionally one of the pettier criminals will come out from the back and do a little of that, too, but not often.  All the <i>real<\/i> stuff happens in the lounge and the back rooms.  A nod from Riddick to the man guarding the lounge doors, and we\u2019re in.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Nightclub glitz gives way to a bordello ambiance.  High-tech tinsel gives way to gilding.  The thump of dance music is replaced by the sweep of the violin.  All the markings of wealth and culture, so why is it that I always feel like we\u2019ve dropped into a viper pit when we step in here?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We move off in different directions; until it\u2019s actually showtime, we\u2019ll be circulating in different groups, among our own professional peers, watching and listening.  We\u2019ll only meet up if there\u2019s something important we need to discuss, some development that might need our immediate, united action.  That\u2019s when we do our \u201chorny couple\u201d act and one of us will drag the other into a back room for some very authentic-looking alone-time.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">One guy who walked in on us several months ago thought we really <i>were<\/i> having sex, which was a damn good thing too, because we\u2019d been talking about how Riddick was going to have to kill him later that night.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But here I am, threading my way through Niko\u2019s main room, carefully avoiding conflict.  Looking down my nose at Stithey, who flashes me one quick look of resentment before dropping his eyes because he knows he\u2019d <i>better.<\/i>  Avoiding looking directly at Marengo\u2019s girlfriend, Ginger, who\u2019s looking me over like a posh couturier spotting a bargain rack shopper.  Well hell, that\u2019s pretty much the score.  If I\u2019m not mistaken, Vittorio Caparzo made every bit of her outfit, and his cheapest accessories run in the upper hundreds.  Show off.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I keep it simple.  Denim\u2019s out, but my leather slacks are worn enough that they might as well be a pair of jeans.  Dressy jeans, anyway.  A shirt that displays no cleavage, even though I don\u2019t have much to show anyway.  Make-up designed to say \u201cI am <i>not<\/i> fuckable.\u201d  The rings help a little.  The nose ring imparts a little bit of a sneer to my face just by being on, and the lip ring says \u201cdo not kiss\u201d better than anything else I could come up with.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I don\u2019t care if people think I\u2019m a nasty bitch.  I hope they do.  Anything that\u2019ll make them fuck off and leave me alone is fine by me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What I don\u2019t do is look around for Riddick.  He\u2019ll show up when he needs me, or if I need him.  My job right now is to keep my ears open, listen to the currents.  I find a nice, comfortable seat in the midst of things and sit down in it, pulling out the palmtop Riddick bought me and farting around with it while I home in on the conversations around me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Boring.  The guys behind me are talking about VR Shooter game cheats.  Amateurs.  I don\u2019t recognize their voices, which means they\u2019re probably just starting out.  I focus on them for a moment.  Young.  College age.  New recruits by Niko, probably pushing designer drugs on their campus so the frat boys can get laid whenever they want to.  I know that <nobr>type\u2026<\/nobr> I\u2019ll have to pay extra attention to anything I plan to eat or drink.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Not that they can actually pull anything on me here.  Riddick\u2019d kill them, but that\u2019s not the really big problem.  There\u2019s a three-headed dog I have to worry about, too.  And I know how sharp his teeth are.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Moving on.  Not gonna think about that.  As long as nobody puts something in my food or drink, I\u2019ll be just fine.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A woman walks by.  I glance up just in time to see the sneer she gives me, and look away fast.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What the fuck?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I recognize her.  Last night she was hitting on Riddick when I passed by.  She seemed more than a little drunk at the time and I\u2019d figured that was why Riddick had turned her down.  The way she dresses, she probably belongs to <i>somebody<\/i> important.  She makes <i>Ginger<\/i> look like a bargain rack shopper.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I glance up at her again.  She\u2019s walking away with her back to me, so I can look safely at her.  Not a hair out of place, gleaming golden-blonde down to the small of her back.  That dress is amazing.  Even if I had the curves to pull it off I\u2019d probably look like a clown in it.  Even assuming I could possibly afford it.  I know I\u2019m looking at a dress that costs more than I can make in a <i>year,<\/i> honestly or dishonestly.  Whoever pays her bills has to be pretty damn powerful, and I know it\u2019s <i>somebody<\/i> because nobody who\u2019s actually out there <i>earning<\/i> something like that can make it look so perfect.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m glad Riddick turned her down.  I just wish it wasn\u2019t because he\u2019s too hung up on me to say \u201cyes\u201d to <i>anybody.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Damn, I wish I could pull off looking like that.  My hair isn\u2019t golden, just a kind of dark, dirty blonde.  Maybe if I was out in the sun more, or went to a hairdresser, it\u2019d be lighter and shinier, but it still wouldn\u2019t be that pretty.  I\u2019m pretty sure those are <i>real<\/i> blue eyes, too, the kind I\u2019ve wished for ever since I saw Carolyn Fry, and not contacts.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well, maybe she\u2019s all pretty packaging and nothing inside.  Shit, I\u2019m jealous.  I shake my head and look away, smiling.  Maybe I don\u2019t look like <nobr>that\u2026<\/nobr> but I\u2019m not the one Riddick turned down.  I\u2019m the one he whispered was the most beautiful woman he\u2019d ever held, while <nobr>we\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And how bitchy to think about <i>that<\/i> when I\u2019m the one turning <i>him<\/i> down.  I\u2019m so fucked up, getting territorial over a man I won\u2019t get intimate with.  I suddenly feel like a real jerk.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou okay, baby?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Wouldn\u2019t you know <nobr>it\u2026<\/nobr> one of the College Boys has homed in on me.  I give him my smallest, chilliest smile.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJust fine.\u201d  I stare down at my palmtop as if it\u2019s the most fascinating thing on the planet.  It kind of is.  I loaded a whole bunch of hackerware onto it tonight, taking out my usual hardcards with all my personal stuff.  Just in case.  I love this little baby but if a job goes sour I have to be ready to dump it and <i>not<\/i> have it traced back to me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou look kinda out of place here, \u2019sall.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Yeah, he\u2019s new.  Only newcomers hit on me.  Most guys know I\u2019m as off-limits as Ginger or that blonde. \u201cI\u2019m right where I\u2019m supposed to be.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Unspoken: and you\u2019re not.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat\u2019s your name?\u201d he asks, not taking the hint.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Am I just being cynical? Maybe this really is a nice guy who just wants to make friends. Wait. Just what am I thinking? We\u2019re talking about <i>Niko\u2019s<\/i> place. Nice guys get chewed up and spit out the minute they try to walk in the door. I wonder if he realizes that. Angelfish don\u2019t swim in this shark tank.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I know what he thinks I am. He thinks this is like some party at his college, where the girl in the drab clothes, sitting alone, is lonely and na\u00efve and will fall for his friendly act. Maybe there are lonely girls at the colleges who do. This isn\u2019t college but I don\u2019t think he gets it. A whole new set of rules applies.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wonder why he\u2019s not going after any of the girls <i>advertising<\/i> their wares. Hell, any man who really wants to get laid can arrange it within five minutes in here.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019ve paused a little too long and he\u2019s thinking about taking offense. Damn. I hold out my hand, keeping things as businesslike as possible. \u201cJack.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He raises an eyebrow in a way that I suppose is intended to charm, and tries to shift our hands\u2019 positions so he can raise mine to his lips. Man, this is getting old. I make sure he has to shake it normally.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fuck it if he gets offended. He won\u2019t get much help when people realize he\u2019s trying to move on Rick Cryer\u2019s Private Stash.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat\u2019s with the boy name?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I hate it when people fuck with me like that. You think I\u2019d be used to it by now, but no. Fine. I\u2019m going to fuck right back.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shrug and give him a confused look, like it should be self-evident if he had half a brain or a third of a clue. And really, it ought to be. If he\u2019d stop playing Big Man On Campus and pay attention to his surroundings, he\u2019d already know he was venturing into dangerous waters. \u201cProfessional reasons.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">If I wasn\u2019t sitting down, I\u2019d steal his wallet just to prove my point. Of course, that\u2019s exactly the kind of showing-off Riddick doesn\u2019t like me doing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cProfessional reasons?\u201d the guy repeats back at me, his voice dubious.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah.\u201d  I grin.  \u201cYou ever heard of Hackerjack? Puts a toy surprise in every network?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That had been my big test-run. The Hackerjack Virus made interstellar news and it\u2019s <i>still<\/i> on a lot of computer systems. Fortunately it\u2019s totally benign, as long as you don\u2019t mind a little sailor and his dog walking across your screen every few months and mooning you.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He blinks, genuinely astonished. \u201cThat was you?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nod. Okay, I love that. I just eat it up. I don\u2019t get to tell many people anymore. \u201cThat was me. Hacker Jack, at your service.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oops. Bad phrasing. Dumb.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDave Sampson. It\u2019s a pleasure.\u201d Oh lovely, there go the innuendos.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Back to cutting this guy off at the knees without him realizing I\u2019m doing it. \u201cSo what do you do, Dave?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m a Junior,\u201d he says without thinking. I only let out a hint of a smirk as a flush rises on his face. Really, the smirk wants to jump out and dance and make noises, but laughing at him would be bad even with Riddick as my protector. He finds his dignity and changes his answer. \u201cI\u2019m a distributor for Niko on the East End Campus.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAh.\u201d I suspect he\u2019s in it for the sex more than the money. Probably most of what he \u201cdistributes\u201d he gives out for free in exchange for a roll in the sack, or slips into unwary dates\u2019 drinks. A rich boy like him can afford it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then again, he probably also does a lot of business supplying uppers and memory-enhancers to students who are cramming for <nobr>exams\u2026<\/nobr> and then there are the parties. Damn. The more I think about it, the more I suspect this boy is raking it in. He probably has that whole shield-of-respectability thing going for him <nobr>too\u2026<\/nobr> but he\u2019d better never try to plea-bargain if he gets caught. Niko likes to bail people out and then drop them in the river if they even look like they might think of doing that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo, you think you might <nobr>wanna\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat, buy from you? Can\u2019t.\u201d I don\u2019t even bother hiding my amusement now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He frowns, and tries to go for the insult. \u201cWhy not? Scared?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Here\u2019s my ace-in-the-hole. \u201cCerberus.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He blinks. Then a look of awe appears on his face. Not many people can say that, not even the rich girls he\u2019s dosing. Most of their daddies can\u2019t afford it, I guess, or think their little angels won\u2019t possibly need it. I wonder if I\u2019m the first one he\u2019s met.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cReally? Wow. What\u2019s that like?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt hurt like hell,\u201d I answer truthfully.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHow\u2026 who did it?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Perfect. Set them up and knock them down. \u201cRick did, of course.\u201d The expression on my face is a <i>you don\u2019t know?<\/i> look. Yeah, Dave, you\u2019re missing something important here.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cRick?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah, you know, Rick Cryer. My guy.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He blanches. I just love it when they do that. Hackerjack\u2019s antics make people laugh, but The Cryer makes them piss themselves. It\u2019s really very poetic. And now Dave is dealing with the idea that he\u2019s been coming onto a professional killer\u2019s girl. I\u2019ve just gone from \u201cSarah, Plain and Tall\u201d to \u201cGun Moll\u201d in his head. How lucky for him his drink is almost empty. Look at him run.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat was impressive.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I grin and tilt my head. Rat is next to me, leaning over my shoulder.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I like Rat. He\u2019s one of about three guys here who <i>don\u2019t<\/i> get weird at the idea of talking to The Cryer\u2019s girl. Probably because he\u2019s gay, thinks Riddick\u2019s <i>hot,<\/i> and he hacks, too, so we compare notes professionally anyway.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI love to watch them run,\u201d I tell him, grinning.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He sits down in the seat next to me, impish humor on his face. I swear, he makes me think of a large pixie. If he walked in wearing a Peter Pan costume or something, I wouldn\u2019t be shocked at all.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGot something to show you,\u201d he tells me, energy crackling over him to the point where I swear it should be visible.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Out comes a red hardcard, which he holds out to me with a flourish. \u201cMy latest masterpiece.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOoooooh.\u201d Rat isn\u2019t the same kind of hacker I am, but I do have a lot of respect for his <nobr>work\u2026<\/nobr> as long as it stays off my computer. \u201cDoes it have a cure yet?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His work always <i>needs<\/i> a cure, because the programs he writes are deadly. They can wipe out infrastructures in seconds. I\u2019ve never seen anyone write such elegant code. His viruses are ominous plagues that can take out a whole planet\u2019s network in minutes. Like me, though, he generally holds back from disseminating <nobr>them\u2026<\/nobr> and he always has a cure ready before he does. It\u2019s a good thing, too, because the hunt for the creator of one of his masterworks would be <i>relentless,<\/i> far more so than when they hunted for me after Hackerjack hit the networks.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He chuckles and holds out another hardcard. This one is green. \u201cThat\u2019s the cure right there.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cCool. What\u2019s your baby do?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cComplete meltdown.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHoly shit.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah, well, it\u2019s special. Limited viability. It goes in through a single unit connected into a network, and kills the network\u2019s ability to communicate with the outside world, and then destroys <i>everything<\/i> inside the system.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt doesn\u2019t reproduce? But I thought good parasite programs don\u2019t kill their hosts <nobr>until\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThis isn\u2019t a parasite. This is a tactical nuke.\u201d He sounds so proud. \u201cOh, it also destroys the original unit, but nothing\u2019s perfect.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">For the umpteenth time, I wonder what he\u2019s doing here.  Niko deals in human vice, mostly.  Drugs, <nobr>gambling\u2026<\/nobr> Autrichien\u2019s territory is organized labor and Ballard is the semi-respectable arms supplier.  If either of <i>them<\/i> had a man like Rat, they\u2019d be deadlier than ever, because they\u2019d <i>really<\/i> know how to use him.  The things they\u2019d have him do would be a lot more spectacular than the petty annoyances Niko has him pull on unpaying clients.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m impressed.\u201d I hold the cards out for him to take them back, but he grins and shakes his head.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou hang onto \u2018em. Never know when you might need a nuke, you know.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I chuckle, but pocket the cards. \u201cNot really my style.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSurvival is always in fashion.\u201d There\u2019s something weird there. Beneath his joking tone, there\u2019s something serious. I don\u2019t understand it, but I mark it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He suddenly composes his face in a much more innocuous expression.  Looking up, I can see a group of men moving through the room.  Niko is leading them, and there\u2019s Riddick among them.  Riddick nods to me as they pass.  This is it.  I lean over and give Rat a kiss on the cheek.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThanks, Rat.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAnytime, Jackie.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can feel his eyes on me as I walk away.  Okay, <i>something\u2019s<\/i> up.  Above and beyond whatever assignment Niko has in mind for me tonight.  I suddenly feel ten times more awake.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We file into Niko\u2019s office and one of his boys closes the door.  That blonde is in there, near his desk.  She stands as we enter, and brushes past Niko suggestively on her way toward the door.  As she passes me, our eyes briefly meet.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Again, what the <i>fuck?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That wasn\u2019t just scorn or annoyance or <nobr>something\u2026<\/nobr> that was a look of pure <i>hatred<\/i> she gave me.  Just what the hell did I do to deserve that?  I never even <i>saw<\/i> her before last night.  The door closes behind her and I decide I\u2019d better close my mouth, too.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Rubric, a professional thief I assume is on whatever team I\u2019ll be working with tonight, leans against the wall next to me, his hands in his pockets.  Funny, I thought he was out of favor right now.  I lean back, too, and turn to him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cPsst.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He glances over at me and gives me an inquiring look.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat woman, who just <nobr>left\u2026<\/nobr> who is she?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now he\u2019s giving me an <i>\u201care you stupid?\u201d<\/i> look, like the one I was giving Dave earlier.  \u201cYou mean Mrs. Papadopoulos?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh shit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Niko\u2019s wife.  That was Niko\u2019s wife hitting on Riddick last <nobr>night\u2026<\/nobr> and staring at me like she wants to tear my guts out.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We are <i>so<\/i> fucked.<\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4005\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4005 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-6\">\u00ab Chapter 6<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4071\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4071 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-8\">Chapter 8 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"8\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4006\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4006 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-7\">\u00ab Chapter 7<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4072\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4072 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-9\">Chapter 9 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1899\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1899 \"><h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>8.<br\/>\r\n<u>Heist<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fucked.  We are so completely fucked.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The whole time Niko\u2019s man is filling us in on the job, that\u2019s all that keeps running through my head.  Just how fucked we are.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Niko\u2019s definitely the kind of man who buys into that whole Machismo bullshit; if he knew his wife had hit on Riddick, even though she got turned down, he\u2019d still take it as a grave insult against his manhood.  And somehow I don\u2019t think Mrs. Papadopoulos would be the one he\u2019d blame.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And that look <i>she<\/i> gave <nobr><i>me\u2026<\/i><\/nobr>  I don\u2019t even want to begin thinking about what that means.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit, I need to pay attention; this stuff is important.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick and three other men are on the other side of the room, getting <i>their<\/i> briefing while Rubric, Bates, Malawi and I get ours.  They\u2019re on a totally different kind of job.  All four of them are professional killers, although I\u2019d say Riddick\u2019s the absolute best of the group.  <i>We\u2019re<\/i> knocking over a business in a nearby office complex.  It doesn\u2019t sound like that hard a job; the building\u2019s security system is so laughably simplistic that they must be paying Niko protection money on the side or something.  No wonder he picked me to break it; a child could do it and that\u2019s probably all he thinks I am, even after Hackerjack ran wild.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">All I have to do is take control of the system and let the boys go in and play.  While they get instructions about where, in the complex, they need to go, I load up the security specs on my palmtop and try not to roll my eyes.  Too easy.  I could do this even <i>with<\/i> my hands shaking.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">So how come I\u2019m on edge like this?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My hand steals into my pocket and fondles the pair of chips Rat gave me.  That\u2019s <nobr>why\u2026<\/nobr> or part of it.  Almost getting shot to death in my bed last night is another factor.  Plus Niko\u2019s wife.  Shit.  We are so fucked.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i><b>Okay,<\/b> already.  Stay alert.  Fine, you\u2019re <nobr>fucked\u2026<\/nobr> concentrate on the briefing!<\/i>  Riddick would kick my ass if he knew how scattered my thoughts are right now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I close up my palmtop just as the final instructions are being given.  It\u2019s showtime, it\u2019s go-time.  Riddick and his boys are moving out, too.  He heads my way for a moment.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Yeah, showtime.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We call these \u201cstage-kisses.\u201d  That\u2019s what they are.  A little bit of theater to keep everybody convinced that our relationship is what we say it is.  They\u2019ve been harder for me to do lately, though.  Still, especially after what Mrs. Papadopoulos has been doing, it\u2019s definitely time for one.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m more aware of our audience than of Riddick as he pulls me into his arms and bends his head to mine.  <i>Take a good long look, boys.<\/i>  I smile as I raise my face to him, opening my mouth.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Truthfully, Riddick\u2019s probably the damn best kisser I\u2019ve ever met, and I kissed a lot of guys back in the days.  Strong lips, no drool.  From a spectator\u2019s stance this probably looks like the hottest kiss they\u2019ve ever seen in a public <nobr>place\u2026<\/nobr> but it\u2019s all theater.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well, it used to be anyway.  The confused knot in my stomach is very new, and very real.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJeez, Cryer, get a <i>room,<\/i>\u201d one of his colleagues mutters.  Riddick chuckles and pulls back.  I do the same.  Someone always says that.  Always to him, too, like they assume I\u2019m too dumb or slutty to know better.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">As we head out, our teams splitting apart at the doorway, I try not to feel Niko\u2019s eyes on me.  Shit, if he\u2019s gonna stare that hard, he might as well pull the damn things out and throw them at my back.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I did <i>not<\/i> want to think that.  A shudder passes through me before I can stop it.  Eyes are a big issue for me.  God knows I can\u2019t enjoy cartoons anymore whenever <nobr>they\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou ready, Jackie?\u201d  Bates is dangling a set of keys in front of me.  Oh.  Yes.  Makes sense for me to be the wheel-man, too, since I\u2019m the only one not going in.  I take the keys and give him a grin.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAlways.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The keys belong to a van that looks like it\u2019s seen better days, from the outside, but when I pull it out of the lot it drives silky-smooth.  Markings on the side say we\u2019re a janitorial service, as do the jumpsuits we\u2019ve donned.  I head for the complex while the guys discuss their strategy.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWe\u2019ll be fine long as the security system stays out,\u201d Bates is saying behind me.  \u201cAll the employees of that company are clock-watchers.  Even the management.  Nobody ever puts in overtime.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGood thing the system\u2019s an easy one,\u201d Malawi chuckles next to him.  \u201cGee, I wish <i>my<\/i> boyfriend could get <i>me<\/i> plum jobs.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Mother<i>fucker\u2026<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I slam on the brakes.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cShit,<\/i> Jack, what the fuck\u2019s <nobr>your\u2014\u201d<\/nobr> Rubric stops when I turn and glare at him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It\u2019s not <i>his<\/i> fault but it pisses me off, too.  <i>None<\/i> of these guys take me seriously.  They think I\u2019m some stupid little girl they\u2019ve been saddled with, who dabbles a little in hacking and has already made as much of a name for herself as she ever could.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Oh yeah, you assholes?  Take a good fucking look!  <b>I\u2019m<\/b> the one who got Luke\u2019s bank to give her a thousand dollars of his money when she ran, in spite of the fact that the ATM daily maximum was five hundred.  <b>I\u2019m<\/b> the one who cracked the Malone Station security system and got it to add her to the <\/i>Hunter-Gratzner<i>\u2018s passenger list and issue a boarding pass. <b>I\u2019m<\/b> the one who blacked out Ring Colony 1 three years ago so Riddick and a bunch of Ballard\u2019s men could steal the missing VX canisters back from the New <nobr>Taliban\u2014<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m the one who can\u2019t say <i>anything<\/i> about <i>any<\/i> of that shit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I take a deep breath.  Okay, can\u2019t fuck this up.  Riddick will <i>kill<\/i> me if I tell these guys just how advanced I really am, and how much I can do.  No showing <nobr>off\u2026<\/nobr> no <nobr>posturing\u2026<\/nobr> shit.  But I still have to deal with this <i>now.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Be more than you seem.<\/i>  I can hear Riddick saying it to me, the way he always does when I\u2019m feeling that urge to prove myself and show off.  <i>Be more than you seem.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat the hell is wrong with you?\u201d  Malawi demands.  No wonder this guy keeps pissing people off.  No wonder he gets all the shit jobs.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh, I know what to say <i>now!<\/i>  The rage fades and I\u2019m back in control.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIf you want,\u201d I tell him in a poisonously sweet voice, \u201cwe can turn around and go back and you can tell Niko you don\u2019t think I\u2019m qualified for the job.  Maybe he\u2019ll give you a better hacker if you ask.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Suddenly part of me is cracking up on the inside.  I\u2019m like some demented <i>mom<\/i> asking her bratty kids <i>do you want me to turn this car around?<\/i>  Jeez.  Riddick is gonna love this when I tell him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Malawi blanches a little.  No, he doesn\u2019t want to do that.  None of them do.  It occurs to me that I\u2019m in this van with three of Niko\u2019s least favorite people.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou don\u2019t want to?  That mean I\u2019m good enough for you?\u201d  Silence for a long moment until they realize the van isn\u2019t going anywhere until I get an answer.  Three heads nod.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah,\u201d Malawi mutters.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou boys need any help doing <i>your<\/i> jobs?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">They look affronted.  Bates, at least, has the grace to look thoughtful about that.  I like him.  He shoots off at the mouth a lot and pisses people off, but underneath it, he\u2019s a nice guy.  I\u2019ve worked with him once before so he, at least, knows I get the job done.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Three heads finally shake \u201cno\u201d when they realize I\u2019m waiting.  Man.  I could get used to this power thing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo we\u2019re all cool, here?  No issues?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo issues,\u201d Malawi manages after a pause.  Yeah, he\u2019s trouble.  This isn\u2019t over between us.  But at least it looks like he\u2019s got the brains to realize that for now, while we\u2019re on this assignment, he\u2019d better treat me like part of the team.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGood.\u201d  I put the van back into drive.  My satisfaction at having dealt with that mess lasts less than a block, though.  The knots are back.  How the hell did I get into this whole damn situation?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We could\u2019ve stayed on Sufi Arabia.  The Sufi sect is pretty tolerant of nonbelievers, all things considered.  We could have gone straight, gone legit.  How\u2019d we end up back in this shitty underworld?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I know the answer.  We <i>tried<\/i> to go legit.  We really did.  But they didn\u2019t want us.  The best Riddick could get was janitorial work, and that was with Imam singing his praises.  He tried.  He gave it his best.  But eventually he gave up and went looking for trouble.  Trouble pays better.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Except that right now I wish we\u2019d stayed back there.  Bad things are happening in the dark and I don\u2019t have shined eyes to see what they are.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wish I\u2019d had a chance to tell Riddick what I found out.  He needs to know.  <nobr>Well\u2026<\/nobr> maybe not right this second.  He\u2019s on a job.  I\u2019m on a job too, and I need to fucking <i>focus.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I pull into the complex\u2019s lot, and over to the utility entrance.  Now it\u2019s time to strut my stuff for these clowns.  Funny having to prove that you\u2019re <i>in<\/i> someone\u2019s league, when the truth is you\u2019re way past them.  But all these pricks see is \u201cyoung girl\u201d or some shit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Jeez!  Focus!  <i>Focus!<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Splicing into the connections takes maybe a minute, and then my palmtop is starting its cycle.  By the time I\u2019m back in the van, we\u2019re halfway through the security system.  Just a little bit of guidance from me, and we\u2019ll be all the way in.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Hell\u2026 this setup is so pathetically easy I\u2019m surprised this place doesn\u2019t get cracked open every <i>week.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Okay, I\u2019m into the main system, and it\u2019s down.  Automatic locks, unlocked and disabled.  Motion detectors, disabled.  Contact with the alarm <nobr>company\u2026<\/nobr> disabled.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWe\u2019re clear.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201c\u2018Bout time,\u201d Malawi grumbles.  As if anyone else could have moved faster.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cBetter get going\u2026\u201d I glance at my watch.  11:45.  \u201cYou have half an hour before the alarm company is gonna wonder why the system is offline.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The three men pile out, Malawi muttering something about me telling him how to do his job.  Shit.  What an ass.  I pull the van door closed behind them and move back up to the front, and my palmtop.  Putting on my headset, I switch it on.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGuys, can you hear me?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cCheck,\u201d Bates answers.  \u201cWe\u2019re at the front door.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOkay, let me know if you need anything.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLike what?\u201d Malawi demands.  Jeez, doesn\u2019t this guy ever know how to play nice?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGive it a rest,\u201d Rubric grumbles in my headset.  \u201cWe\u2019re in.  On our <nobr>way\u2026<\/nobr> you keep watch, kid.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGot your backs,\u201d I say, and wait a moment.  No shit from Malawi.  That\u2019s something.  I lean back in the seat and peruse the screen.  Might as well play while I wait, see what kinds of companies are in this complex.  Maybe make a few back-doors and leave a few tendrils, for all those Just-In-Case scenarios.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Huh.  The directory isn\u2019t coming up.  <nobr>Okay\u2026<\/nobr> <\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now this is getting weird.  I switch over to the control panel page again and try to go in \u201cfrom behind.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Where is it?  This makes no sense.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Something in my belly curls and forms a tight knot.  This is very, very wrong.  I\u2019m <i>in.<\/i>  <nobr>So\u2026<\/nobr> where is everything?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can feel the thought forming in my mind but I don\u2019t want to look at it.  I don\u2019t want to believe it.  Not at <nobr>all\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But I\u2019d better find out anyway.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I pull open another program and start tugging on \u201cstrands.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Strands, or <nobr>tendrils\u2026<\/nobr> or as Riddick likes to call them, \u201chairs,\u201d are little programs I slip into existing systems.  I can travel along them and slip inside the system, which assumes that I\u2019m part of the strand, and therefore part of the system.  They\u2019re deceptively simple-looking programs.  I showed one to Rat and he called it \u201celegant.\u201d  I glowed for days after he said that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I have one into the police system, and I\u2019m riding it in now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Okay, I\u2019ve got access.  Time to take a look around.<\/p>  \r\n\r\n    <p style=\"margin-top: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><blockquote><b>11:27<\/b> Unit 7 dispatched to deal with domestic disturbance report at 1427 Oriole Lane.  ETA 11:58.<br\/><b>11:31<\/b> Unit 4 dispatched to 3-car collision at 9th and Masswell. ETA 12:03<\/blockquote><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit, how slow are these dipshits?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cEvery day they don\u2019t never come correct, you can ask my man right here with the broken <nobr>neck\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHey!\u201d Malawi barks through my headset. \u201cQuit with the singin\u2019, little girl!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI like it,\u201d Bates says, cutting him off.  \u201cKeep going.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSorry guys, didn\u2019t know I was doing that out loud.\u201d  Shit, I <i>never<\/i> sing in front of people.  Shows how distracted this has me.  I scroll down further.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh, fuck me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"margin-top: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><blockquote><b>11:38<\/b> Units 2 and 3 dispatched to the Wellington Office Complex, burglary in progress.  Suspects armed and extremely dangerous.  ETA 12:13<\/blockquote><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Everything inside me has turned to ice.  I feel like I\u2019m floating, weightless.  The knot in my stomach is <nobr>gone\u2026<\/nobr> because I\u2019m completely hollow inside.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGuys.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWould you quit interrupting?\u201d Now Bates is sounding impatient with me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI need you to get out now.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOut of the building.  Now.\u201d  I glance at my watch again.  It\u2019s 12:01, eighteen minutes since we got here.  That son of a bitch.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That motherfucking backstabbing son of a bitch.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat the hell are you on, girl?\u201d Malawi snaps.  \u201cWe\u2019re only just getting started!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThe cops are on their way.  They\u2019ll be here in less than twelve minutes.\u201d  I try to keep my voice steady, but it\u2019s beginning to shake a little.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat the fuck did you do?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I swallow against the nausea inside me.  Okay, my guts have returned, in one enormous, buzzing, queasy knot.  I hate Malawi.  I really, really hate him.  But even <i>he<\/i> doesn\u2019t deserve what\u2019s coming.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI didn\u2019t do a thing, dammit!\u201d I shout.  \u201cIt\u2019s a fucking <i>setup!<\/i>  Do you understand me?  <i>Niko set us up!\u201d<\/i><\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4006\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4006 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-7\">\u00ab Chapter 7<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4072\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4072 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-9\">Chapter 9 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"9\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4007\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4007 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-8\">\u00ab Chapter 8<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4073\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4073 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-10\">Chapter 10 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1902\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1902 \"><h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>9.<br\/>\r\n<u>Denouement<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We\u2019re going to die.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Everything inside me is screaming it as I grab the latex gloves out of my kit and snap them on.  Over the headset, there\u2019s complete, stunned silence.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Finally Rubric breaks it.  \u201cWe\u2019re on our way out.  What happened?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m wiping down the van as I talk.  Anywhere I touched, anywhere the guys touched.  \u201cThe security system was a fake.  An overlay.  It gave off all the right signals for a normal shutdown, but the <i>real<\/i> security system is still up and running.  It never turned off.  I found that out when I decided to have a look around.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo then the cops are coming because you never shut down the system?\u201d Malawi interrupted.  \u201cMaybe if you\u2019d been more <nobr>careful\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI <i>was<\/i> careful!  The system I shut down was dead-on with the specs Niko\u2019s man gave us!  Hell, the only reason we know it\u2019s a decoy <i>now<\/i> is because of how fucking careful I am.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou still fucked up and the cops are on their way!  Don\u2019t sound too careful to me!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My hand balls into a tight fist and I drive it into the seat, wishing it were Malawi\u2019s gut. \u201cSo how do <i>you<\/i> explain the fact that the cops were fucking dispatched <i>three minutes<\/i> before we even pulled into the <i>parking lot?<\/i>  Piss off anybody important lately?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Silence, for a long moment.  I spend it trying to find out more about the real security system.  Fuck me, it\u2019s a good one.  I\u2019ve broken through ones like it before, but it took me hours.  I\u2019m gonna have to set a speed record.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit, Niko covered all the bases.  He\u2019d even planned for the idea that one or more of us might get out alive and have questions.  If I hadn\u2019t stopped the van over Malawi\u2019s asinine crack, we\u2019d have gotten on site just as the call had gone through to the cops. None of us would have ever been able to be sure, afterward, whether or not I\u2019d tripped an alarm.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Someone jumped the gun just a little, and used our ETA instead of waiting for me to patch in.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Fuck, let me <b>in<\/b> you piece of crap.  At least let me turn the cameras off so the boys can make a clean <nobr>exit\u2014<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Bates comes over the headset.  \u201cJack!  We\u2019re in trouble!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shoot a panicked glance at my watch.  <nobr>12:05\u2026<\/nobr> no cops yet.  \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThe locks are engaged.  We can\u2019t get out!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fuck!  <i>Fuck!<\/i>  Someone must be watching, and able to see them making their retreat.  Those locks weren\u2019t engaged before!  \u201cWorkin\u2019 on <nobr>it\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Let me <b>in,<\/b> you son of a bitch!<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWork <i>fast,<\/i> girl,\u201d Rubric says.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m sweating.  I unzip the jumpsuit as I keep working.  I have five minutes left to get the guys clear or they\u2019ll be dead.  Maybe I will be, too, but at least I\u2019m not locked in the building with nowhere to run.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAlmost there\u2026\u201d  The locks are starting to go down, but they\u2019re starting awfully far away from the boys.  Ten, twenty, <nobr>thir\u2014<\/nobr> <i>fuck!<\/i>  They\u2019re re-engaging.  \u201cShit!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat <i>now?\u201d<\/i>  Rubric asks.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSomeone\u2019s fighting me.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/i> Malawi squawks.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThere\u2019s someone on the other end, controlling the system.  A live human being.  The machines are doing what I tell them to, now, but someone else is going in and undoing everything I do.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou\u2019ve gotta be kidding!\u201d That\u2019s Bates.  Now they\u2019ve all had their say.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLook, I know the difference between dealing with a machine and dealing with a person, and I\u2019m fighting a <i>person<\/i> here.  And unlike me, they\u2019re an authorized user!\u201d  I groan.  I <i>know<\/i> who has to be on the other end of it.  The chips he gave me earlier in the evening clatter in my pocket.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Survival is always in <nobr>fashion\u2026<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I pull the jumpsuit off of my upper body and reach into the pocket, jumping when my pocket comm begins to buzz.  What <i>now?<\/i>  I don\u2019t have time.  I switch it off as I grab the chips.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cTime for a tactical <nobr>nuke\u2026\u201d<\/nobr> I swallow.  Shit!  Not yet.  I\u2019m still connected into all of my tendrils.  If I set it off while they\u2019re in, I\u2019ll take down half the city.  I begin backing out of the tendril program.  12:08.  Fuck!  ETA is five minutes.  While the tendrils shut down, I pull the jumpsuit off the rest of the way.  Odds are the cops know <i>exactly<\/i> what to look for.  I don\u2019t want to look anything like it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat\u2019s taking so long?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJust another minute and I\u2019ll have the locks down!\u201d  I yank out the tendril card and pocket it.  Time to do <nobr>this\u2026<\/nobr> for a moment I look at the red chip in my hand, and shudder.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">HackerJack is about to go cyberterrorist.  I hope Rat\u2019s got a good explanation made up to cover his ass.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cJack??\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Deep breath.  <nobr>12:10\u2026<\/nobr> no more time.  I shove the chip into the vacant port.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My screen goes scarlet.  I swallow as a message appears on it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"margin-top: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><blockquote><b>Sorry, Jackie.  I was hoping you wouldn\u2019t have to use this.  Take the chip with you when you go.  Rat.<\/b><\/blockquote><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There\u2019s only one prompt below.  Execute.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I click it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">One second, two, three, <nobr>four\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The lights in the parking lot flicker off.  My palmtop screen dies and the unit goes silent.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGuys?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWe\u2019re moving,\u201d Rubric says.  \u201cGood work, kid.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWe have two minutes before the cops are supposed to arrive.  Don\u2019t go to the van; they probably know exactly what it looks like.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou running out on us?\u201d Yeah, thanks, jump to <i>conclusions,<\/i> Malawi.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo, but we\u2019re gonna have to sneak out of here at this point.  Look, you wanna take your chances with the van, fine.  I\u2019ll leave the keys in it.  But the dispatch said \u2018armed and extremely dangerous\u2019 so my bet is the van\u2019s gonna get shot full of holes first thing.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019ve pulled the jumpsuit off the rest of the way and am wadding it up.  Inside my toolbag I have another, empty bag folded up.  I bring it out and open it, stuffing everything inside.  It\u2019s the kind of bag a mallrat a year or two younger than me might carry around.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">With luck, if I get spotted, I can pass myself off as some tipsy little schoolgirl out past curfew.  Assuming, of course, that I\u2019m here because I\u2019m the most expendable hacker in Niko\u2019s arsenal, and not because he actually wants me dead.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The look his wife gave me hits me again and I shudder, yanking Rat\u2019s chip out.  I slip it into my pocket and climb out of the van.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What I wouldn\u2019t give for Riddick\u2019s eyes right now.  Shit, I should warn him.  I might not be the only one who\u2019s been set up tonight.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Focus.  Now is not the time to think about that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wipe off the door handle and begin to head towards the building at a run.  There goes my palmtop.  Of course, Rat\u2019s little bomb has totally wiped it anyway.  And if someone found it with me, there would go my \u201cI\u2019m just a fluffy bunny\u201d act.  Still, an irrational lump forms in my throat.  Riddick gave it to me a year ago.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What if I never see him again?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Quick glance at my watch.  12:12.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou guys out yet?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAlmost,\u201d Bates says.  \u201cWe\u2019re coming out the back door.  Where are you?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m over by the <nobr>du\u2014\u201d<\/nobr>  Light flares at the edge of the lot and I hear the screech of tires.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Shit!<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThey\u2019re here!  Get to cover!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I don\u2019t have time to meet up with the boys, and I\u2019m in a <i>bad<\/i> place if someone spots me.  I make a dash for the dumpsters and slither between them.  If I\u2019m lucky, they won\u2019t even look here.  I\u2019m smaller than most people realize and I can get into tiny spaces nobody would ever think I could.  Maybe they\u2019ll pass this spot right by.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My comm rattles in my pocket.  I have a message.  Fuck!  I pull it out, meaning to shut it off.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It\u2019s a Priority One.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d better grab <nobr>it\u2026<\/nobr> only one who leaves those messages for me is Riddick.  I should have a few seconds.  I key in my code, and the screen glows to <nobr>life\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-align: center; margin-top: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>72. 18. 98.<\/b><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh god.  I shut off the comm and slip it back into my pocket.  I feel numb and ill.  My hand moves to the headset\u2019s controls and presses the Mute button.  I can still hear the guys, but I don\u2019t want anyone hearing me.  Not them, not the cops.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I\u2019m sorry, guys.  I got you as far as I <nobr>can\u2026<\/nobr><\/i>  The urge to puke my guts out grows worse.  What if they don\u2019t make it?  What if they die?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I go still as I hear voices approaching.  Not the boys.  They\u2019re silent on the headset, probably creeping along and hoping they\u2019re not spotted.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFan out.  We\u2019re looking for four people, dressed like janitors.  Don\u2019t take any chances.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Maybe nobody briefed them that one of the \u201cpeople\u201d was a <nobr>girl\u2026<\/nobr> please <nobr>God\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s code flashes in my mind again.  72. 18. 98.  Fuck.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We set the code up years ago, and worked it all out.  If you know what it means, it passes on a lot of information.  Riddick made me memorize all of his hundred two-digit messages, and tested me periodically to make sure I wasn\u2019t getting them confused.  I did, at first, but haven\u2019t for a long time.  I even have fun with combination locks, pretending that their combinations are messages from him.  My favorite one translated to \u201cNew job. Grocery shopping. Boss is an asshole. Pick up some toilet paper.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But that\u2019s not what this translated to.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n<p style=\"margin-top: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><blockquote>72. \u201cJob is a setup.\u201d<br\/>18. \u201cI\u2019m safe.\u201d<br\/>98. \u201cYou may be in danger.\u201d<\/blockquote><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Niko tried to take us both out.  <nobr>Bastard\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>bastard\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I want to send Riddick a message back but I can\u2019t.  Not now.  I don\u2019t know if I\u2019m safe or not, and I can\u2019t ask him to roar in here and get himself killed, coming to my rescue.  I\u2019m stuck.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now I hear the cops over the headset.  They\u2019re near the <nobr>guys\u2026<\/nobr> and they\u2019re still near me.  Oh god.  This is gonna be bad.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFreeze!  Don\u2019t move!  Hands over your head! Now!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Head.  Singular.  The boys must have split up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI said <i>now!<\/i>\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Rubric\u2019s voice over the <nobr>headset\u2026<\/nobr> and echoing from a distance into my free ear.  \u201cOkay, man, relax, <nobr>I\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Gunfire greets his words and makes me flinch against the cold metal of the dumpster.  Tears escape my eyes and begin rolling down my cheeks, hot against my icy flesh, as I hear Rubric\u2019s dying scream in two places.  Worse is hearing the labored, hitching breathing through the headset.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Worst of all is hearing it rattle to a stop.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">They\u2019re not even trying to capture.  This is an execution.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh fuck\u2026\u201d  Bates.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>No, dammit!  Don\u2019t talk, don\u2019t say anything, don\u2019t attract <nobr>attention\u2026<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Too late.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">More shouting.  He\u2019s given himself away and they\u2019re closing on him.  Oh god.  Out of all of them, Bates is the nicest.  He\u2019s never treated me like an idiot.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Don\u2019t die, please don\u2019t die, please god don\u2019t let him <nobr>die\u2014<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can\u2019t even make out what anybody\u2019s shouting but gunfire overrules it.  I struggle not to let out a scream, not to sob out loud.  I don\u2019t want to die.  I don\u2019t want to die.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I don\u2019t want to die like Rubric and Bates.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My eyes snap open as I hear the sound of running feet on asphalt.  Someone\u2019s coming my way, in a big damn hurry.  Fuck, it\u2019s <nobr>Malawi\u2026<\/nobr> he\u2019s making for the dumpsters.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>No!  Go away, don\u2019t come over here, they\u2019ll kill us <nobr>both\u2014<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Of its own accord, my hand reaches up and turns off my headset.  There\u2019s nobody else left to hear, nobody else left to talk to.  And I don\u2019t want them looking for my carrier wave.  Assuming they\u2019re looking at all.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Malawi\u2019s almost reached me when the shooting starts.  I can see him clearly in the police lights as the slugs hit him.  And keep hitting him.  I stop counting after the fifth bullet slams into his back.  He drops to his knees.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His eyes widen a little as he sees me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh fuck.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Recognition fills his gaze.  Confusion.  <nobr>Anger\u2026<\/nobr> he blames me for this.  In a moment he\u2019ll shout something and they\u2019ll know where I am.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then his face empties and his eyes glaze over, awareness fleeing altogether.  He slumps down onto the pavement, hand outstretched toward me, dead eyes locked on mine.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m all alone.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I listen to the sound of approaching men, and try to melt back into the darkness.  Part of me feels as if I\u2019ve already died, and I\u2019m just waiting for the bullets to actually strike.<\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4007\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4007 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-8\">\u00ab Chapter 8<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4073\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4073 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-10\">Chapter 10 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"10\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4008\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4008 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-9\">\u00ab Chapter 9<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4074\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4074 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-11\">Chapter 11 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1904\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1904 \"><h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>10.<br\/>\r\n<u>Amy<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can\u2019t move.  If I do, I\u2019ll die.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m half-between, half-behind the dumpsters, as low to the ground as I can get.  A puddle of something I don\u2019t even want to think about is soaking into my shirt.  And less than ten feet away, three cops are searching Malawi\u2019s body.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">If I make a sound, I\u2019ll be as dead as he is.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAny sign of the fourth man?\u201d one of them asks into a headset.  I can\u2019t hear the answer.  \u201cWell, keep looking.  He has to be around here somewhere.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He.  Thank god.  Maybe this isn\u2019t personal after all.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I remember the coded message Riddick sent me and suppress a shudder.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThought it was a girl,\u201d one of the other cops remarks as he digs through Malawi\u2019s pockets.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well, fuck.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWith a name like Jack?  Right.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Double<\/i> fuck with a side of <i>oh shit!<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMaybe this Jack bolted before we got here.  Our informant says the guys headed out of the building early, like they were spooked.\u201d  The third cop holsters his gun and steps away from Malawi\u2019s body as he\u2019s speaking.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Why <i>didn\u2019t<\/i> I just bolt?  I should have.  Not like I was able to save the others.  Staying and trying to get them out didn\u2019t make them any less dead.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I should\u2019ve just run.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat\u2019s the word, boys?  You find the fourth?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo sign of her,\u201d says a voice over the cop\u2019s radio.  \u201cLooks like she must\u2019ve cleared out before we got here.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFine.  Do one more sweep and tell the coroner\u2019s office we have three bodies for them.\u201d  The cop is fiddling with a plastic evidence bag.  Shit, check <i>that<\/i> out.  How <i>nice<\/i> of them to give Malawi a gun to defend himself with, now that he\u2019s <i>dead.<\/i>  \u201cStand by, shots about to be fired from the dumpsters.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wonder how they plan to explain the fact that when they shot <i>back<\/i> at him, all the bullets hit him in the back.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The shots are almost deafening in this enclosed area.  Even bracing myself for them, I almost jump out of my skin.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I watch as the cop moves Malawi back into position, so that he\u2019s sprawled again on the pavement, his eyes once more balefully fixed upon mine.  Even in death I can feel the weight of his hatred, his blame.  I\u2019m trapped by his gaze.  By his eyes.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">They are <i>not<\/i> the most terrifying things I\u2019ve ever seen.  I\u2019ve seen far worse than this.  Other eyes gave me nightmares for months and almost sent me over the edge of sanity.  New <nobr>Vancouver\u2026<\/nobr> I was stupid to say I wanted to be back there.  Now it\u2019s come to me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It was the fourth time I played decoy for Riddick.  The fourth and <i>last<\/i> time.  After what happened, he never asked me again.  At first I thought that was because he thought I was a fuckup or something.  But when I finally got up the nerve to ask, he told me that he knew it had almost destroyed me, and he never wanted that to happen.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I think he wishes he could undo that night almost as much as <i>I<\/i> do.  We\u2019d planned it all out, very carefully, but we hadn\u2019t been quite careful enough.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There were dumpsters in that alley, too, but it was cleaner than this place.  I\u2019d been drawing Riddick\u2019s mark to him for a week, and this time he\u2019d followed me back to a quiet rendezvous spot.  That night was <i>the<\/i> night.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I was sixteen, but unlike my mother, people were starting to <i>over<\/i>estimate my age, rather than underestimate it.  Bart Harper actually thought I was legal, if barely. He wasn\u2019t a pedophile like Renault; he just liked tall blondes.  Now he thought he was going to get a taste of one.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick had other tastes planned for him, though.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We retreated into the darkest part of the alley, my flirtatious gestures growing more and more promising as we did.  I wasn\u2019t nervous.  Riddick and I had rehearsed this over and over; Bart here would never even get a kiss in.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He didn\u2019t.  Riddick seemed to materialize out of nowhere, stepping up behind him and pulling him back.  This time he wasn\u2019t going to kill with a knife.  The man who had hired him had made a special request.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShit!\u201d Bart shouted, misunderstanding the situation.  \u201cLook, man, take my wallet, it\u2019s in my <nobr>jacket\u2014\u201d<\/nobr>  His eyes widened and his voice cut off when he saw the hypo in Riddick\u2019s hands.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick hates it when he has to do drama.  He prefers to just stick his knife in and be done with it.  But when his employer has a message, he will deliver it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMr. Alonson wants me to tell you something, Harper.  You know who that is?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHe\u2019s the father of the kid you hooked on this stuff.\u201d  Riddick nodded at the syringe.  \u201cWell, he\u2019s the father of <i>one<\/i> of the kids.  The one who died a week ago along with everybody else you sold that contaminated shit to.  He wants me to give you a taste of what it\u2019s like to be that boy.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Bart\u2019s eyes had grown huge.  For a moment, when Riddick had talked about \u201ca message,\u201d he probably thought he was going to walk away with just a beating.  Until that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShit, man!  Look, whatever he\u2019s paying you, <nobr>I\u2019ll\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDoesn\u2019t work like that.  I don\u2019t back out on a contract once I accept it.\u201d  Riddick had him immobilized, his hand on a bundle of nerves that, when pressed, could paralyze a victim.  He showed me where they were, but I\u2019ve never had the strength to press hard enough.  It meant that Bart couldn\u2019t fight him, though, as the hypo came down to his throat.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt won\u2019t work!\u201d Bart insisted, desperation showing on his face.  \u201cI\u2019m protected!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick smirked.  \u201cCerberus?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah, so why don\u2019t we <nobr>just\u2014\u201d<\/nobr>  His words were cut off as Riddick injected the contents of the syringe into his throat.  Then, suddenly, he began to convulse, agony contorting his already-homely features.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick rose and stepped away from him.  The seizures were growing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI didn\u2019t know Cerberus did that to you,\u201d I whispered at Riddick.  He was wiping the syringe clean and swapping a half-full vial into the cartridge chamber.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt doesn\u2019t.\u201d  He smirked at me and moved back to Harper\u2019s side as the convulsions stopped.  \u201cBut a half-and-half mixture of morphine and industrial cleanser?  That will.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Half of me was horrified but the other half almost laughed.  It was probably the most macabre thing I had ever heard of, but it also reminded me of a movie I\u2019d once seen, involving an evil prom queen.  \u201cOh shit.  Why\u2019d you do that?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cBecause that was what Mr. Alonson wanted.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWon\u2019t it be obvious that it was murder, though?  I mean, if Bart had Cerberus protecting him, why\u2019d he be shooting up?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat\u2019s the beauty of the cleanser.  It\u2019ll have fried all of the nanites when they tried to take up the morphine swimming in it.  Won\u2019t be any sign of them by the time an autopsy\u2019s done.  He\u2019ll just be another hype who was sampling his own wares and got hold of a contaminated batch.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOuch.\u201d  I took a deep breath and was about to ask him if he could warn me next time, but that was when everything got totally screwed up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A loud clatter from the direction of the dumpsters made me jump and Riddick whirl.  A knife appeared in his hand as if by magic, despite the fact that it would probably just be a cat.  Then a small, <i>human<\/i> form darted out from between the trash cans and raced towards the mouth of the alley.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick reversed the knife in his hand, preparing to throw it.  \u201cFuck!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I blinked as the figure vanished, and looked at Riddick.  The knife was still in his hand, unthrown.  His face looked stricken.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt\u2019s a kid.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s big weakness is children.  Hell, that\u2019s how I ended up with a protector, more or less.  That was how Johns caught him, too, the second time they went head-to-head, and how he ended up on the <i>Hunter-Gratzner.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShit!  Look, you finish up what you gotta do here.  I\u2019ll go after him.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHer.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That was all the permission I had time to get if I wanted to catch up to the kid.  I took off down the alley after her, not looking back to see what Riddick was doing.  My mind was racing faster than my feet.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Any girl who was hiding in that alleyway had to either be homeless or on the run from a really shitty home.  She was probably scared out of her mind, after seeing that.  I couldn\u2019t really blame her.  Anyone who thinks they won\u2019t shudder in the face of Death has never actually faced it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I had to stop her from telling anyone what she saw, but I didn\u2019t want to hurt her, any more than Riddick did.  Funny thing, but I kind of felt an automatic sense of kinship with her.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There she was, half a block ahead of me.  She\u2019d stopped running and was leaning against a light post, catching her breath.  I\u2019d figured she wouldn\u2019t have much stamina.  I didn\u2019t either, back when I was on my own.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She turned and saw me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That moment was frozen for me.  A delicate, pixie-ish face framed by downy blonde hair.  China-blue eyes widening in terror.  For a second I thought I was looking at Carolyn Fry, but that was impossible.  The girl couldn\u2019t be more than thirteen years old.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then she began to run again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I was gaining, and fast.  Two and a half years of sparring with Richard B. Riddick meant that I was stronger and faster than anyone could guess by looking at me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cKid!  Stop!\u201d  I wasn\u2019t even out of breath.  \u201cI\u2019m not gonna hurt you, I just wanna talk to you!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She darted into the empty street, heading for a side road.  I swerved and followed.  I knew where she was heading now.  There was a drop-in shelter three blocks away.  If she got there, they\u2019d want to know what she was running from.  Part of me wondered if I was going to have to cold-cock her and drag her back to the apartment.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">If necessary, I would.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I was almost on her.  I reached out with one hand and grabbed hold of her grubby denim jacket.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She screamed, slithering free of the jacket\u2019s hold like a wild animal, whirling to face me.  Her eyes were enormous.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I dropped the jacket and held up my hands in a gesture that was half-warning, half-conciliation.  \u201cJust stop!  I\u2019m not gonna hurt you!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She stared at me, panting.  Her mouth moved but nothing came out.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I tried to gentle my voice down a little.  \u201cI just wanna talk to you, okay?  Look, what you saw back <nobr>there\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cYou killed him!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fuck!  Thank god the street was deserted.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou know who that guy was?  He sold drugs to kids our age, okay?  A bunch of them died last week.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I tried to take a step closer to her hand she scrambled back from me.  But I could see she was thinking about what I\u2019d said.  Maybe she was remembering Riddick\u2019s conversation with Harper.  I could hope.  Thank god this hit had been on someone dirty.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then again, Riddick only ever let <i>me<\/i> see him hit people who were dirty.  The other hits \u2014 and I knew he did them \u2014 he never let me know any details about.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAre <nobr>y\u2026\u201d<\/nobr> She swallowed and started over.  <nobr>\u201c\u2026You<\/nobr> gonna kill me too?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo.\u201d  I held up my hands and then gestured at my clothes.  No hidden weapons in this skimpy outfit.  \u201cI <nobr>just\u2026<\/nobr> look, I wanna help you, okay?  I don\u2019t want you telling anybody what you saw, and it looks like you could use some help anyway.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She stared at me as if I was totally insane.  Well, that <i>had<\/i> been a shitty sales pitch.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Deep breath; try again.  \u201cHow long you been running?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cF-five months.\u201d  Her face suddenly looked haunted.  Couldn\u2019t blame her there.  I knew what kinds of things I\u2019d had to do when I ran, just to stay alive.  And she was beautiful.  Total catnip to predators.  You could see the scars they\u2019d left on her soul if you knew how to look.  I did.  I had my own collection.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLook, I probably shouldn\u2019t offer without asking Rick, <nobr>but\u2026<\/nobr> you want a safe place to stay?  Nobody trying to use you or hurt you?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou expect me to believe he doesn\u2019t make <nobr>you\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  The gesture she made with her body was very descriptive.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYes.  He\u2019s never touched me like that.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat, is he gay?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo, he\u2019s just a good man.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She blinked and then a derisive laugh exploded out of her. \u201cI just saw him kill a man!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat, like you don\u2019t have a few people you wouldn\u2019t like to see dead by now?\u201d  Most of the time, if I had to think about what Riddick did for a living, and what it meant, that was the rationalization I used.  I\u2019d imagine him killing Luke for me, and the mechanic on the <i>Bonnie Lynn,<\/i> and I\u2019d tell myself murder could be a righteous thing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I couldn\u2019t examine it more closely.  I didn\u2019t dare.  If I did, I might have had to conclude that Riddick was <nobr>evil\u2026<\/nobr> and that I was, too, for helping him.  There were some things that just couldn\u2019t be scrutinized.  Not if I wanted to stay sane.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But I\u2019d reached her.  She probably had a long list of her own, guys who had hurt her or made her do humiliating things for a meal or a place to crash.  The sense of kinship between us grew inside me.  I wanted to get her off the streets.  I wanted her to be safe with Riddick and me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit, if she said yes, I\u2019d have a <i>sister.<\/i>  Where did that warm tingle come from?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat\u2019s your name?\u201d I asked her.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAmy,\u201d she said.  Her voice was <nobr>calmer\u2026<\/nobr> speculative.  I had her interest.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m Jack.\u201d  I grimaced and shook my head.  Riddick called me that, but most everybody else called <nobr>me\u2014<\/nobr> \u201cI mean, Jackie.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She smirked. \u201cLet me guess, you used to dress up like a boy?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nodded and grinned back.  Yeah, she knew the drill.  That disguise would never have worked for her, though.  Tiny as she was, she had a pretty ample bosom that would be almost impossible to bind down.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAnd this <nobr>guy\u2026<\/nobr> Rick?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nodded.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou promise he won\u2019t hurt me?  Or try to fuck me or something?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI promise.  Look, I\u2019ve been with him since I was going on fourteen, that\u2019s two and a half years now, and he\u2019s never once tried <nobr>any\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Suddenly we were caught in a brilliant spotlight.  I turned my head, blinking.  All I could see was a pair of lights, bearing down on us, getting brighter and larger, <i>fast.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShit!\u201d I heard Amy shout.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cRun!\u201d  I threw myself to the side.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Something struck my hip and sent a wave of fire through my body.  I stumbled to the ground, more fire igniting on my knees and the palms of my hands as I hit.  A loud screech of rubber on concrete sounded nearby.  I winced, shaking my head, and looked up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fifteen feet away, a van had come skidding to a stop.  The driver\u2019s side door opened and a man leaned out, his mop of shaggy brown hair illuminated by the streetlight.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Not Riddick.  For an awful, ungrateful second I\u2019d been afraid it was.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh fuck, man, we gotta get <i>out<\/i> of here!\u201d  He disappeared back into the van, the door slamming.  Tires screamed again and the van continued down the road, barreling around another corner.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I climbed to my feet and winced as my hip sent another stab of pain through me.  \u201cOh fuck me, that was too <nobr>close\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Amy.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I turned to look for her, and suddenly felt like I was falling.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She was lying in the middle of the road, her body flopping like I\u2019d seen fish do when the bully-boys in my sixth grade class pulled them out of their tanks to laugh at them.  I limped as fast as I could over to her and dropped to my knees, barely even feeling their scream of complaint, beside her.  The second my raw hands touched her, she went still, the convulsions ceasing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAmy!  Just stay still, you\u2019re gonna be <nobr>o\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then I saw her face.  Then I saw her <i>eyes.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then I couldn\u2019t stop myself from screaming.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh god, Amy, I\u2019m so sorry.  I\u2019m <i>so sorry.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I want to scream, all over again, just remembering that moment.  Those eyes locked on mine, the way Malawi\u2019s are, but so much worse.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But I can\u2019t scream.  I can\u2019t make a sound.  I can\u2019t even move.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">If I do, I\u2019ll die too.<\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4008\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4008 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-9\">\u00ab Chapter 9<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4074\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4074 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-11\">Chapter 11 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"11\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4009\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4009 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-10\">\u00ab Chapter 10<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4075\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4075 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-12\">Chapter 12 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1907\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1907 \">  <p style=\"margin-bottom: 0;\"><b>WARNING!<\/b> This was not an easy chapter to write, at all, and may not be an easy chapter to read.  I tried to be as realistic as possible about Amy\u2019s death, and its impact.  You will see things in this chapter that are probably quite squicky.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <hr style=\"align: center; width: 50%; background: linear-gradient(to right, #4474BE 0%, #243a68 100%); height: 3px; margin-top: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px;\">\r\n\r\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>11.<br\/>\r\n<u>Circling<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can\u2019t feel my legs.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">They\u2019ve gone numb on me, I guess because I\u2019ve been lying still for so long.  I wonder if I\u2019ve turned to stone from the waist down.  That\u2019s what it feels like.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">About a dozen feet away from me, unaware of my presence, two medical examiners are bagging Malawi\u2019s body while they talk about baseball.  The press has been and gone.  I think the cops are gone, too.  A tow-truck took away the van a while back.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now if these guys would just get done and gone, maybe I can get out of here before I lose all the warmth and feeling I have left in my body.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I need to stay still.  I need to wait.  They\u2019ll be gone soon.  After the bodies are picked up and everybody\u2019s gone, I can get out of here.  I <nobr>just\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>can\u2019t\u2026<\/nobr> make a sound.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The knots inside me are tightening and tightening.  My stomach feels like it\u2019s a solid mass of macram\u00e9.  By the time this is over, I\u2019ll have turned to stone all the way.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I want Riddick.  Shit, I even want my <i>mother.<\/i>  I close my eyes and feel tears burn against the lids.  I don\u2019t want to die in this place.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Did Amy feel like this?  Is this how it was for her when she ran?  Were her guts twisted into elaborate braids like mine are now?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Oh god, kid, I\u2019m so sorry.<\/i>  Every time I think about her, I cringe and curl in on myself.  New Vancouver.  We vowed, afterwards, that we would never go back.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I\u2019m so sorry, Amy.  I never meant any of it to happen.  You must have been so <nobr>scared\u2014<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cShut the <b>fuck<\/b> up!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My head jerked upward at the man\u2019s voice.  He was hanging out of a third story window, glaring down at me.  In that instant, I hated him with virulent intensity.  It should\u2019ve been <i>him<\/i> down on this pavement, not <nobr>Amy\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cCall an ambulance!\u201d I screamed at him, my voice cracking and inhuman.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat the <i>fuck<\/i> you kids been doing!?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cFuck<\/i> you!\u201d  If he\u2019d been in front of me I don\u2019t know what I\u2019d have tried to do to him. \u201cA <i>van hit her!<\/i> Call a fucking <i>ambulance!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cShit!\u201d<\/i>  He disappeared from his window like one of the moles on the Ballards\u2019 lawn, realizing it had been spotted.  <i>Bastard!<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I swallowed and forced myself to look back down at Amy.  I didn\u2019t want to, and yet I did.  Maybe, this time, she\u2019d be okay instead <nobr>of\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh god.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">She was staring up at me, her expression one of absolute terror, almost a rictus.  Something about her face was <i>wrong.<\/i>  Off.  But I couldn\u2019t figure out what it was because I was completely transfixed by her eyes.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">They were <i>bulging<\/i> forward, the lids pulled back away from them, almost like they had popped out of their sockets.  White surrounded her irises on every side, making her once-beautiful face look like something from a horror movie.  They stared up at me with fixed intensity while she tried to breathe.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I didn\u2019t know what to do.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAmy?  Can you hear me?  You\u2019re gonna be <nobr>okay\u2026\u201d<\/nobr> I knew it was a lie.  Nobody whose face looked like that was going to be <i>okay.<\/i>  But I had to say something.  She looked so scared.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Her only answer was another rattling gasp as she tried to breathe.  Her chest heaved with the effort.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Oh god, what do I do?<\/i>  Did she need help breathing?  Should I get her out of the street?  I didn\u2019t know, I couldn\u2019t think.  Nobody was around\u2014<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cSomebody help me!\u201d<\/i>  The words exploded out of me before I even knew they were coming.  <i><nobr>\u201cSomebody\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The apartment door opened, spilling several people out, including the man who had been shouting at me.  He headed my way at a run, holding a white box.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAmbulance is on its way!  What happened, you said a van hit her?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The box had a red crescent on it.  I abruptly hated myself for the awful thoughts I\u2019d had about him.  I couldn\u2019t say a word, suddenly, and had to just nod at him.  My eyes were stinging.  Did they look like Amy\u2019s?  Oh <nobr>god\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He set the box down next to us and knelt over Amy for a second before lurching back.  \u201cOh fuck!  Allah have <nobr>mercy\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then he was stumbling away.  I stared after him, watching in confusion as he sagged against the light-post and retched.  Irrationally, the thought that went through my head was that my eyes probably didn\u2019t look at all like Amy\u2019s.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Next to me, she made a sound between a rasp and a whine, pulling my attention back to her.  A small pink froth had appeared at the corner of her mouth.  My shaking hands grabbed the first aid kit and struggled to open it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAmy, just hold on, help is on the way, just hold <nobr>on\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  She couldn\u2019t die.  Not now.  Not when I\u2019d finally found a friend who was like me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The box finally opened up and I grabbed at a packet of gauze.  I couldn\u2019t figure out where to begin.  I started by dabbing at the froth on her mouth.  My throat felt like it had closed and knotted shut.  Around me the light seemed to be flickering, strobing red and throwing everything into eerie, gory relief.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMiss, we need you to move out of the way.\u201d  The arm around my waist pulled me out of my daze.  I was being lifted up.  I turned my head and gaped at the man holding me.  He was dressed in the white uniform of an emergency tech, and looking not at me but at someone else.  \u201cWhat do we have?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cTrain wreck.  Female, probably early teens.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My head snapped around to see the other speaker.  For a moment I thought Imam was there.  Only this man was younger and had tight black curls on his head instead of a shaved skull.  Not <nobr>Imam\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>just\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It was another emergency technician.  He shoved the first aid kit out of the way and set down his bag.  A beam of light shone down from the small rod in his hand, moving over Amy\u2019s face and head.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDepressed skull fracture, proptosis, blown <nobr>pupils\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  He bent closer, tilting his head to examine her.  \u201cGrab the board.  I\u2019m gonna tube and bag.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSh-she was convulsing before,\u201d I managed.  Neither man responded directly but the one hovering over Amy nodded as though it confirmed his thoughts.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cCervical obstruction to airway; we\u2019ll need the crico tray and a ten-gauge Seldinger.\u201d  The man looked up, ignoring me and focusing instead on his partner.  \u201cStat. She\u2019s circling.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The arm that had been holding me was suddenly gone.  I glanced back and saw the tech by the ambulance, grabbing supplies.  Moving back to Amy\u2019s side, I crouched down next to her and took her hand.  Her eyes looked even bigger than before.  Dark circles were forming under them.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The man who wasn\u2019t Imam looked up at me, frowning.  \u201cClear out.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat?  <nobr>But\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGet her out of here!  Will someone <i>please<\/i> get her out of here?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m not going <nobr>anywhere\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cRoy, a little help here?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A new hand, hard and undeniable, grasped my elbow and pulled me back.  An arm snaked around my waist and I was lifted up, kicking wildly at my captor\u2019s legs.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cEasy!  Easy!\u201d The man\u2019s voice was yet another new one.  Shit, how many people were sneaking up on me here?  A wild glance around showed me dozens of onlookers, more than half of them in nightgowns and pajamas.  Several of them looked ill.  The once-deserted street was more crowded than it probably ever got in the daytime.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">How much time had elapsed?  Where had it gone?  Four police cars had somehow come and I hadn\u2019t even noticed, hadn\u2019t so much as heard the sirens.  They were road-blocking each of the streets leading into the intersection, while their occupants were stringing yellow tape around us and shooing spectators back.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I was surrounded.  I didn\u2019t know what to do.  If he put me on the other side of the yellow tape I could run before anyone realized I\u2019d been involved, but what if Amy talked?  I\u2019d never gotten to ask her to keep quiet about what she\u2019d <nobr>seen\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cYes, I woke up and looked out, and she was kneeling over the girl, screaming for help. I think she called her Amy.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Mr. Red Crescent.  I wasn\u2019t sure if he\u2019d just saved me or doomed me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Instead of escorting me past the tape, my captor set me down once we were over by the ambulance and a patrol car.  I grabbed onto his arm as my knees almost gave out.  Dark blue sleeve.  Cop.  Roy?  Was this Roy?  I turned and found myself face-to-face with some rookie who, I thought, couldn\u2019t be much older than <i>me.<\/i>  He was thin-faced and pale, with a light sheen of sweat over his face.  He looked nauseated, his eyes flicking over to Amy again and again while he watched me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou need to let them work,\u201d he told me, supporting my elbows until I could stand on my own.  \u201cIf you want to help your friend, you need to stay out of their way.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThey\u2019ll help her, right?\u201d  I looked back over at Amy.  One of the paramedics was swirling a wet pad over her throat.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYes, but you have to let them work.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI don\u2019t want her to die, she can\u2019t <nobr>die\u2026\u201d<\/nobr> I was babbling.  Worse yet, there was another voice, <i>inside me,<\/i> babbling back at me, telling me horrible things.  Telling me that if Amy died, nobody would ever know Riddick killed Bart.  Telling me she was better off dead, the shape she was in.  Telling me that now I was a killer, too, as if I\u2019d somehow pushed her in front of the van.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I suddenly hated myself.  Why wasn\u2019t <i>I<\/i> the one lying beneath the paramedics?  <i>Amy<\/i> deserved to be the one with a safe place, a home, a <nobr>protector\u2026<\/nobr> a <nobr>future\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cC\u2019mon.  You let them work, and tell me what happened.\u201d  He pulled out a small palmtop and a stylus with trembling hands.  \u201cTell me what happened.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Was he repeating himself for my sake or for his?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I swallowed, shoving my self-loathing aside as best I could, and tried to collect my thoughts.  They were scattered all over the street, fragmented by the van\u2019s passage, glittering like the pool of red that had formed beside Amy\u2019s head.  I couldn\u2019t think. <\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThere was a <nobr>van\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  I remembered a van.  <nobr>\u201cLights\u2026<\/nobr> coming at us.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDid you get a good look at it?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I closed my eyes, trying to focus on the memory.  When I opened them, hot liquid splashed down onto my cheeks.  \u201cIt was light green.  I think.  It looked light <nobr>green\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>um\u2026<\/nobr> the guy driving <nobr>it\u2026<\/nobr> had brown hair.  He took <nobr>off\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDid you see the license plate?  Do you remember?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cI need you to move the crowd back another ten feet on this side, Richards.  Clear a space for the crash team and the air-evac.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cAre you nuts?  You can\u2019t take her up!  Look at her eyes.  Any more pressure change to her skull could kill her <nobr>instantly\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shuddered and covered my ears, closing my eyes again.  I needed to concentrate, remember.  Remember the way Riddick showed me to.  <nobr>Focus\u2026<\/nobr> The van, apple-green beneath the street-light.  Red tail-lights bright in contrast.  The <nobr>plate\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOne\u2026 five\u2026seven\u2026 <nobr>D\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>six\u2026<\/nobr> I can\u2019t remember the last <nobr>number\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  I opened my eyes and more hot liquid spilled down my face.  Tears?  I hadn\u2019t cried in front of anybody other than Riddick in years and years.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Roy the cop nodded.  Maybe I was imagining it, but he looked paler than ever.  \u201cOkay, that should be enough to get a lead.  How did it happen?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWe were talking, and suddenly these bright lights hit us and we looked <nobr>up\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  I rubbed at the wetness on my cheeks.  For some reason this made Roy flinch back a little.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He swallowed.  \u201cUm\u2026\u201d  He must have <i>really<\/i> been young, the way his voice cracked.  <nobr>\u201cWhat\u2026<\/nobr> what were you doing in the road?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I groaned and shook my head.  Obviously I couldn\u2019t tell him the truth, <nobr>but\u2026<\/nobr> \u201cWe were <i>crossing.<\/i>\u201d  I pointed to Amy\u2019s abandoned jacket, which lay at the edge of the crosswalk.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It was a lie.  But I figured it wouldn\u2019t hurt at this point.  Saying we\u2019d been standing there added about five feet to the distance Amy\u2019d been thrown, but who the hell was counting, right?  And we <i>had<\/i> been in the crosswalk, for a <nobr>moment\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOkay.  Can I get your name, Miss?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJ\u2026 Jackie.  Jackie Martin.\u201d  That was the name on my fake ID.  I was amazed I could remember it.  For a second, my real name had tried to climb out of my mouth.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAnd your friend\u2019s name?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAmy.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He looked up at me.  \u201cAmy what?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shook my head, feeling exposed.  \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou don\u2019t know your friend\u2019s last name.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLook, we just met tonight, okay?  We were hanging out, <nobr>and\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His eyes were shrewd.  \u201cHeading for the drop-in shelter?\u201d  I hesitated a moment too long and he nodded, pegging us both as runaways.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cOkay, let\u2019s get her on the <nobr>board\u2014<\/nobr> oh shit.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cFracture\u2019s <i>open<\/i> and leaking pink matter.  I didn\u2019t see it before because we were keeping her immobile.  There\u2019s no saving this one.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cLet\u2019s just get her downtown.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cCrap, hold her still a second.  The three-<nobr>lead\u2014<\/nobr> shit, convulsions!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cShe\u2019s circling.  Call it.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cIf I pronounce I need an officer backing the call.  Who\u2019s supervising this mess?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cTodd, we\u2019re losing her.  Think you could witness here?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Pronounce?  Witness?  Losing <nobr>her\u2026?<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cNo!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Roy tried to grab my arm but I was already running, my aching legs suddenly weightless.  Blinding pain lanced through my body as I dropped to my knees beside Amy again.  She was twitching rhythmically, her heels drumming the pavement.  I grabbed her hand and felt it tighten around my fingers.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShit, Roy, get <nobr>her\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cCool it, Chuck, you said there\u2019s nothing you can do.  Let her say goodbye.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo!\u201d  I stared up at the men standing around us, unable to believe they were just <i>standing there.<\/i>  \u201cYou gotta help her, you can\u2019t just let her die!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">All three men looked ill.  But none of them moved.  A fourth joined them, a much older policeman.  The grave look on his face said he\u2019d seen all of this before.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I felt like I was being strangled.  A long, painful wheeze escaped Amy and I turned back to her, trying not to look at the awful <i>thing<\/i> sticking out of her crooked neck.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAmy?  Amy, please!  Hold on, don\u2019t let go, don\u2019t leave me!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">For a moment I thought she was trying to say something.  She seemed to be straining toward me, trying to sit up.  I reached down, wanting to help her, and put my hand on her shoulder only to jerk it back as it touched something unspeakable.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAmy?  Can you hear me?\u201d  I reached down again, promising myself this time I wouldn\u2019t pull back.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then her body relaxed and she sagged back to the pavement, still.  Her arm twitched, several times in rapid succession.  Her hand went limp in mine.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The paramedic who wasn\u2019t Imam knelt down on the other side of her and put a stethoscope to her chest.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOkay, I\u2019m pronouncing.  Time?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201c2:13 a.m.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDo you concur, Officer Bardwell?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI concur.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo\u2026\u201d But I knew it was true.  The body beside me was just that, <nobr>now\u2026<\/nobr> a body.  Amy wasn\u2019t there anymore.  All that was left was <nobr>wreckage\u2026<\/nobr> <i>train <nobr>wreckage\u2026<\/nobr><\/i>  Only the impenetrable knot in my throat was keeping sobs from exploding out of me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I watched as the older policeman thumbed a button on his collar and began speaking into his suit\u2019s comm.  \u201cThis is officer Bardwell.  Cancel the air-evac and send for the M.E.  And put out an APB for a light green van with partial license plate <nobr>157D6\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cThe M.E. is three blocks away, processing a probable O.D. They\u2019ll head your way next,\u201d<\/i> said a voice over the collar-com.  I shuddered.  I knew exactly whose body was being processed there.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Every death tonight had my fingerprints on it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">More people were arriving, a man in municipal coveralls tugging at Roy\u2019s arm. \u201cYeah, dispatch sent me out, what happened here?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNever mind that.  We need you to pull the vids for the intersection.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Pull the vids for the <nobr>intersection\u2026<\/nobr><\/i>  Fuck.  They\u2019d see what really happened.  I didn\u2019t think traffic cameras had sound, but shit.  They\u2019d have a lot of questions once they played those <nobr>vids\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick and I needed to get out of town fast.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I barely noticed Amy\u2019s body beside me, now, as I stood up.  My knees and hip protested fiercely but I began to move away from the scene.  Away from a broken dream that had been killed in its birth.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhere are you going?\u201d  One of the medics was standing next to me.  Light exploded in my face as he pointed his little penlight at my eyes.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m just\u2026\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cPupils are responsive, no sign of concussion.  You sure she was hit too?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLook at her hands and knees, and the side of her dress.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I glanced down at my hip and noticed, for the first time, that my dress was ripped.  The beads and sequins had been torn off of the <nobr>fabric\u2026<\/nobr> I\u2019d seen glittering on the <nobr>street\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOfficer Holloway found red sequins over by the skid marks.  She was struck.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMiss, we\u2019re gonna have to take you downtown for some x-rays.  If you\u2019ll come over here, we need to put a brace on your neck, okay?  It\u2019s just a precaution.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo\u2026\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShe\u2019s refusing treatment.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIs she competent to?\u201d  The older officer turned to Roy, who shook his head.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHer ID\u2019s fake.  Underage, probably another runaway.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIn that dress?  And she\u2019s too clean and well-fed.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOkay, maybe a hooker\u2026\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cWhat?\u201d<\/i>  Half the women at the nightclub had been dressed in tackier clothes than this!  And it had been years <nobr>since\u2014<\/nobr> fuck!<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShe\u2019s definitely a minor, and look at her.  Concussion or not, she\u2019s not all there.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNot competent to refuse treatment, then?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat\u2019s my assessment.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI concur.  We\u2019ll take her for x-rays and take the rest of her statement on the way.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLook, I\u2019m not going <i>anywhere<\/i> with you guys, okay?\u201d  I had to get out of here.  I started moving towards one of the tapes.  Get past the tape, past the crowd, and out of <nobr>here\u2026<\/nobr> I had to <i>go.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Strong hands grabbed me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cCome on, we need to make sure you\u2019re okay.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wanted to scream.  \u201cI\u2019m <i>fine!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNobody\u2019s gonna hurt you, just come over here and lie <nobr>down\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My past exploded and rioted through my head, those words echoing back to one of the times I never, ever wanted to think about.  That night I\u2019d been hurt worse than ever before in my life.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Not this time.  <i>Not this time!  <b>Not this time!<\/b><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I was moving on instinct, the things Riddick had taught me flowing through me.  The twelve-year-old girl I\u2019d been was beating back her attackers with my knowledge, my skills.  Vaguely, I was aware that I was <i>not<\/i> surrounded by a group of dockworkers who\u2019d caught a stowaway.  I was aware that I was in another place.  But it was too late.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then they were on the ground and I was running.  Almost free, almost <nobr>safe\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Falling, the weight of a man\u2019s body bearing me down.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGot her!  Fuckin\u2019 wildcat!  You really wanna take her downtown?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh, she\u2019s going downtown,\u201d an infuriated voice growled.  \u201cWe\u2019ll even stop at the <i>hospital<\/i> on the way.  You got the hypo?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I struggled against the hands, more and more of them pinning me down.  A face appeared above me, the man who wasn\u2019t Imam, now even less like him with blood pouring from his broken nose.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A glimpse of a hypo in his hand.  Terror crushing at my chest.  <i>Riddick, help <nobr>me\u2014<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Blackness, and no Riddick.  No Riddick anywhere.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It\u2019s dark.  And so quiet.  The bodies are gone, and the detectives.  Everyone has left.  I can see the ghostly shape of the tape outline, beyond the dumpster, and the flutter of yellow tape.  But it\u2019s quiet now.  So quiet.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m afraid to break the silence.  What if they come back?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I have to.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My hand is numb and has trouble digging into my pocket.  Finally I have my comm out.  I flip it open.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Here goes\u2026 I hope I\u2019m really as alone as I <nobr>think\u2026<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I turn it on, and fumble in my message, and press SEND.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Just two codes.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">88.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m scared.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">00.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Help me.<\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4009\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4009 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-10\">\u00ab Chapter 10<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4075\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4075 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-12\">Chapter 12 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"12\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4010\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4010 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-11\">\u00ab Chapter 11<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4076\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4076 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-13\">Chapter 13 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1910\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1910 \">  <p style=\"margin-bottom: 0;\"><b>Note:<\/b> This chapter is a bit of a mind-bender.  I\u2019m doing an experimental technique of having two time-lines overlap and converge.  I hope it\u2019s not too confusing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <hr style=\"align: center; width: 50%; background: linear-gradient(to right, #4474BE 0%, #243a68 100%); height: 3px; margin-top: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px;\">\r\n\r\n  <h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>12.<br\/><u>Perfidy<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">When I was a little girl, I was afraid of the dark.  I knew, with the certainty of any small child, that monsters lived in it and would take me if they could.  Monsters, or maybe devils.  I remember someone telling me about how you\u2019d see the glowing eyes of the Devil when he came for you in the dark.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I guess that means Luke\u2019s right about me, and how I\u2019m going to Hell.  Because the Devil\u2019s eyes shine silver in the night when he comes for me, and I am always glad to see him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I took them for coins, as I lay in the hospital bed.  My thoughts were murky and I thought they were the silver coins that used to be put over the eyes of the dead, to grant passage into the underworld.  Coins to cover Amy\u2019s frightening eyes, hide them from <nobr>view\u2026<\/nobr> was that her in my room, her eyes hidden behind silver circles that marked her as one of the departed?  Was she coming for me?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But no, that wasn\u2019t her, then.  And it\u2019s not her now, either.  It\u2019s the eyes of my Devil, my <nobr>savior\u2026<\/nobr> <i>Riddick<\/i> has come for me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He kneels down in front of the gap between the dumpsters, and I know he can see me clearly.  His voice is a hushed growl when he speaks.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou okay, Jack? <i>Can you move?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I murmured something unintelligible and felt his hands, hot against my drug-chilled skin, touching my face and throat.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI think <nobr>so\u2026\u201d<\/nobr> I try, but my limbs won\u2019t obey me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He leans in a little, as much as the narrow passage will allow.  Too <nobr>narrow\u2026<\/nobr> his fingertips are about four feet away when he reaches towards me.  \u201cCome on.  Just a little way.  Then I can help you, Okay? <i>I\u2019m gonna get you out of here.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Strong hands lifted me into a sitting position and the blanket covering me was pulled back.  I swayed, dazed, as he tore off my thin hospital gown.  Then the warmth of his hands was back as they traveled over every inch of my skin.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cYou\u2019re okay,<\/i> I\u2019ve got you now.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I relax, shaking, as his hands grasp my upper arms, and let him pull me the rest of the way out.  He lifts me to my feet as he steps back from the dumpsters, nimbly side-stepping Malawi\u2019s taped outline even as I start to gasp a protest.  We don\u2019t touch it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shiver against him and feel his hands on me again, checking every inch of my body for damage once more.  This time, though, he isn\u2019t disguised in scrubs and smelling of hospital cleansers.  He\u2019s got his trench coat on, and his arsenal under it.  I can feel one of his guns pressing against my thigh, and the holster of another against my breast.  And I smell blood on him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhose\u2026 blood\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNot mine.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh.\u201d  Then it\u2019s not important.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLet\u2019s get <i>you out of here.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>He finished dressing me in scrubs and helped me to my feet.  I could barely feel the floor beneath them; my steps were shuffling and slow.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cJust another minute <nobr>and\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  The lights suddenly died.  \u201cThere.  Thank you, Russell, I knew you\u2019d come through for me.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>My mouth was having a hard time working right.  <nobr>\u201cLi\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>supp\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cWrong floor.  Nobody\u2019s gonna be hurt by this power outage.  Unless they try to stop us from leaving.\u201d  Grim iron entered into his voice. \u201cYou think you can <\/i>walk or you want me to carry you?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI can walk.\u201d  I hope I can walk.  I have almost no strength in my legs, but I don\u2019t want to have to be carried like a child this time.  Not if I can help it.  I feel too damn powerless as it is.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He walks slowly, tension thrumming through his body while I limp against him.  My legs are slowly waking back up.  In a few minutes they\u2019re gonna hurt like a son of a bitch.  I hope we\u2019ll have made it to his car by then.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHow did you find <nobr>me\u2026?\u201d<\/nobr>  All I managed to send him was the one message for help, and I swear he appeared a minute later.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cKnew where you\u2019d be.  It\u2019s the kind of place you always go to ground.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Part of me wants to laugh at that because he\u2019s right.  But I wonder what it says about me.  Maybe it says more about the kinds of things I\u2019m afraid of.  Even Luke never thought to look for me behind the dumpsters when I\u2019d hide.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit, I want to <nobr>puke\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cGoh\u2026 be\u2026 si\u2026\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>He turned his head sharply to look at me, frowning a little as he carried me through the garage.  \u201cThink you can wait a few more minutes?  \u2018Til we\u2019re out of here?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201c\u2026try\u2026\u201d  It was hard speaking around the drugs and the knot in my throat.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWe\u2019re almost there.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The car is in front of us, now.  My legs are prickling, more and more painfully, as we maneuver around to the passenger side.  I lean against it while he opens the door for me.  I\u2019m shaking worse than ever now, and still struggling against the rising nausea.  I can\u2019t even get into the car without Riddick\u2019s help.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He straps me in and then his hands are on my cheeks.  It feels like the glittering steel of his gaze is slicing through me.  I don\u2019t even know what he\u2019s seeing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLet\u2019s <i>get you home, okay?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I nodded, closing my eyes for a moment.  Time was strange for me.  I kept losing pieces.  The car was in motion.  We were leaving the hospital\u2019s garage.  Riddick had parked in the section reserved for physicians, and nobody challenged us as we left, even though everyone <b>else<\/b> was being stopped.  Someone must have sounded an alarm.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cHow\u2026 did\u2026\u201d Damn, those words were actually coherent!<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cHeard about the accident on the newscom.  I didn\u2019t know what happened, so I had to check the morgue while you were still in <nobr>radiology\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i><b>The morgue.<\/b><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cOh fuck, pull<\/i> over!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My stomach tries to escape when the car shudders to an abrupt halt.  The belt\u2019s fighting me and, as a hideously sour taste floods my mouth, I\u2019m afraid I\u2019m not gonna make it.  Large, deft hands come to my rescue, snapping open the belt and pushing the door ajar for me.  I launch myself to the side and half jump, half fall, to the curb.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Didn\u2019t I just do this <i>last<\/i> night?  Fuck.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s arms are around me again.  D\u00e9j\u00e1 vu.  D\u00e9j\u00e1 vu all over the place.  I\u2019m floating in time or something.  Last time, though, <i>he didn\u2019t have a coat on.  His arms were bare below the short sleeves of the scrubs as he supported me.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cEasy\u2026 you okay, there?  The records said you weren\u2019t concussed or anything, <nobr>but\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cI\u2019m fine\u2026\u201d It came out as a pained groan.  As he helped me to my feet, I struggled to find the words to tell him what was wrong.  <nobr>\u201cYou\u2026<\/nobr> saw her?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>The grave expression on his face told me everything I needed to know.  \u201cYeah.  I saw.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I wiped at my mouth as he helped me back into the car, not even realizing that I\u2019d begun to sob.  \u201cShe\u2019s dead, Rick, she\u2019s <\/i>dead and it\u2019s all my fault.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick frowns down at me, the expression on his face confused.  \u201cWhat are you talking about?  You didn\u2019t set them up.  You stayed and tried to get them out of there.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThe security system was too easy, I should\u2019ve known it was a fake.\u201d  The sobs are getting harsher.  It\u2019s Malawi\u2019s face I can\u2019t shut out.  He died with the two of us still hating each other.  I don\u2019t hate him anymore.  And I can never tell him that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLook, we\u2019ll <i>talk about it when we get home, okay?\u201d  Riddick belted me back in and closed the car door, climbing in beside me a moment later.  For several long seconds he just stared at me, his expression unfathomable.  Then he started the car again.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cOkay,\u201d I whispered.  I didn\u2019t want to talk.  I didn\u2019t want to think.  I didn\u2019t want to <\/i>be.<i>  All I could see were Amy\u2019s eyes and the macabre accusation in them.  I cried softly the rest of the way back to our apartment, despising myself for being unable to suck it up.  The drugs wouldn\u2019t let me.  Everything was flowing out.  At least only Riddick could see it.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cWe\u2019re <\/i>here.\u201d  This time Riddick\u2019s voice is grim and wary.  He doesn\u2019t park our car in the apartment garage but instead pulls it up to one of the metered spots along the curb.  He pulls out one of his guns and checks it, snapping the safety back.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He doesn\u2019t think it\u2019s over.  Shit.  What <i>happened<\/i> tonight?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cStay put.  I\u2019ll come around and get you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nod.  That\u2019s easy enough to do.  My legs are in serious agony right now.  I\u2019d <i>better<\/i> figure out a way to suck it up because if we <i>are<\/i> going to be ambushed, he can\u2019t afford to carry my weight.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Doesn\u2019t mean he won\u2019t try to.  Fuck.  I knew things had gotten too complicated.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Funny.  For a moment I had this weird flash back to the dumpster.  But it wasn\u2019t Malawi on the ground on front of me.  It was Amy.  I really need to get a grip.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019s helping me out of the car.  \u201cCome on now.  <i><nobr>Easy\u2026<\/nobr> think you can walk now?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I nodded and slowly made our way towards the elevator, his arm tightly around mine.  I was still crying, my emotions still controlled by the drugs that left my legs wobbly.  As the elevator rose, I leaned against Riddick and sniffled.  His arm<\/i> is tight around me.  But his other hand is free, a gun cocked and ready in it.  I can feel how on edge he is.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The elevator door opens on an empty hallway.  Slowly, after several breathless moments of listening have passed, we edge out into it.  Nobody there.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHe\u2019s playing this smart,\u201d Riddick mutters.  I\u2019m not sure what he means.  I don\u2019t ask.  Until Riddick says it\u2019s safe, I\u2019m not gonna make a sound that I don\u2019t have to.  Because that sound might cover up something important that Riddick needs to hear.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We spend a moment in front of the door while Riddick checks all of his telltales.  They haven\u2019t been tampered with.  Bizarre.  Finally he disables the security system and we go inside, still tense.  He\u2019s <i>thrumming<\/i> with contained energy.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Empty.  Well, not <i>totally<\/i> empty.  But nothing has moved or changed since we left earlier.  We move over to the metal desk.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cStay here,\u201d he murmurs.  I lean against it, ready to duck beneath it if required, while he searches the place.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Finally he returns to my side.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOkay.  Let\u2019s get you cleaned up.  <i>No<\/i> Macbeth stunts in the shower, okay?  We don\u2019t have time for it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nod.  There are hysterics inside me, waiting to bubble up and out and let <nobr>loose\u2026<\/nobr> but I can keep them at bay for now.  I have to.  This all might not be over yet.  More visions of Amy crowd at me but I shove them ruthlessly aside.  Later.  I can\u2019t crack up now or we could both end up dead.  I begin fumbling at my filthy clothes.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s a patient man, most of the time.  Not now.  He starts helping me pull things off.  My shirt rips, but I\u2019ll never be wearing it again so I don\u2019t give a shit.  Did it really bother me this morning that he was going to see me naked?  Now I don\u2019t care.  At all.  Let him see me, let him look all he wants.  I toss my ruined shirt and bra into the trash can as I head for the bathroom.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He follows, shrugging out of his duster.  Underneath it he\u2019s wearing an arsenal, alright.  I wasn\u2019t imagining it.  His eyes on me are intense.  I finish stripping down and turn on the water.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">This is when, in the past, Riddick would disappear.  Well, when a job was over and done with.  He\u2019d vanish with some woman and re-emerge with all of the tension gone.  What does he do now that he\u2019s stopped playing his games?  Is that why he\u2019s staring at me like this?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Part of me is grateful that he\u2019s staying dressed, and not getting into the shower with me.  If he made a move, I know I\u2019d let him right now.  And part of me is disappointed.  Part of me <i>wants<\/i> him to make that move.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit, I\u2019m glad <i>one<\/i> of us has a backbone.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019s standing guard, I realize as I soap myself down.  In case an attack is still imminent.  No wonder he\u2019s not getting in.  Would he, if he was sure we were safe?  It makes me scrub faster.  If an attack <i>does<\/i> come, I don\u2019t want to get caught like this.  Not for anything.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m out of the shower in what <i>has<\/i> to be record time for me.  Feeling stronger now, too.  I grab my bathrobe and pull it on.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIs it safe?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He glances at me, his eyes still intense.  Slowly, he nods.  He unholsters one of his other guns and hands it to me, butt-first.  \u201cWe should be okay, but you hold onto this just in case.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fuck, I hate having to use a gun.  I can do it, but I hate it.  I take it, and head over to the bed.  My body is exhausted but my mind is racing.  Riddick follows me.  As I lie down, he puts his hand on my back.  I roll over to make room for him.  He doesn\u2019t lie down on the bed, but sits down beside me.  Still on edge.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat happened tonight?\u201d I ask him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A muscle jumps in his cheek and his jaw clenches tightly.  Before he can answer me he has to blow out a heavy breath through his nose.  Then, at last, he makes eye contact with me.  \u201cNiko tried to have us killed.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shudder.  \u201cYou and me?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLooks like it.  Looks like he decided to get rid of a bunch of people he didn\u2019t like.  But put it <nobr>together\u2026<\/nobr> both our teams went down.  And last night, we almost got shot full of holes.\u201d  His jaw clenches again.  I think his glare could cut through sheet metal, and I\u2019m glad it\u2019s not aimed at me.  \u201cToo many coincidences there.  I just don\u2019t know why.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Cold moves through me.  \u201cI do.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now the glare <i>is<\/i> aimed at me.  \u201cWhat?  Why?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat woman\u2026 the one who was in Niko\u2019s office tonight.  She was hitting on you last night, right?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah\u2026\u201d  I can tell by his reaction that he doesn\u2019t know.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat\u2019s Niko\u2019s wife.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick goes completely still.  He\u2019s not even breathing.  He stares out into space, comprehension slowly dawning over his face.  \u201cMother fucker,\u201d he finally whispers, his voice almost admiring.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cKind of what I was <nobr>thinking\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  I can\u2019t stop myself.  I put my head \u2014 wet hair and all \u2014 on Riddick\u2019s lap.  I need the contact.  I need him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat explains why the cops had orders to kill the others, but apprehend you.\u201d  The fingers of his free hand slip into my hair.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It takes me a moment to figure out what he just said.  \u201cThey what?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He nods.  \u201cYeah.  I found that out just before you called.  They were supposed to arrest you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cBut\u2026 I\u2019d still have ended up dead, Niko doesn\u2019t take chances that people will squeal on <nobr>him\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHe had other plans for you, Jack.  I don\u2019t guess you\u2019ve noticed that he has a real <i>thing<\/i> for you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHe <i>what?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Another nod, and Riddick\u2019s voice becomes hard.  \u201cHe\u2019s been at me for weeks.  Wanting a taste of you.  Just one time, he keeps saying.  I tell him I don\u2019t share my Private Stash, and he goes on and on about gestures of loyalty and shit like that.  So last night he sent his wife to seduce me.  Jesus.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHow would that\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The smile he gives me is devoid of humor.  \u201cSo he could catch me, and give me a choice.  Since I\u2019d have gotten a taste of what was <nobr>his\u2026<\/nobr> only way he\u2019d have let me live was if I gave him a taste of what\u2019s mine in return.  They just didn\u2019t figure I\u2019d turn her down.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now I know what the hatred in her gaze was about.  Shit, I don\u2019t blame her.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo, when it didn\u2019t <nobr>work\u2026<\/nobr> why\u2019d they try to kill us?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMe.  Not you, just me.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo, I was the one who almost died last night.  That was totally out of control, and we could have both ended up dead.  Why\u2019d that happen?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick shakes his head.  \u201cI don\u2019t get that either.  But tonight it looks like the idea was that I\u2019d die on my assignment, and you\u2019d get <nobr>arrested\u2026<\/nobr> and Niko would offer you <i>his<\/i> protection now that you didn\u2019t have anybody else to watch out for you, in exchange for sexual favors.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJeez.  And when the novelty wore off I\u2019d have ended up in the river, too.\u201d  I shudder.  Riddick\u2019s hand leaves my hair and settles on my back and begins to move in a slow circle.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cProbably.\u201d  At least he\u2019s honest with me.  No saccharine claims that I\u2019d have somehow survived this in the long run.  \u201cBut I\u2019m still trying to figure out why he took the chance of hurting you last night.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Another shudder passes through me, because I <i>know.<\/i>  \u201cHe didn\u2019t.  She did.  Last night was her.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s hand stills on my back.  \u201cMrs. Papadopoulous?  Why?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I sigh.  \u201cIt\u2019s what <i>I\u2019d<\/i> do.  Think about it.  Your husband \u2014 <i>husband<\/i> \u2014 gets sexually obsessed with some other girl.  That\u2019s bad enough.  But then he makes you help him snare her.  To do it, you have to seduce some guy you don\u2019t know.  But it doesn\u2019t work, because that guy rejects you for <i>that same girl.<\/i>  Someone put me through that, I\u2019d want a <i>bunch<\/i> of people dead.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo she set up last night?\u201d  I can hear in his voice that he knows I\u2019m right.  His hand begins to move again, kneading my spine.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMakes sense, doesn\u2019t it?  This building was supposed to be protected.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He sighs.  \u201cYeah.  From everybody except the protectors.  And they couldn\u2019t come at us from the front.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I roll over so I can look up at him.  For a moment his hand rests on my ribcage, just below my breasts, before he draws it back.  \u201cWhy couldn\u2019t they?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His expression becomes strangely sad.  \u201cIf they betrayed their employees like that, so obviously, it\u2019d be the end for them.  Not unless they could show that we\u2019d turned on them first.  They have to make it look like an accident.  Or everybody\u2019d walk on them.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It makes sense.  I wouldn\u2019t work for someone I knew stabbed employees in the back, either.  Not when there are other crime bosses out there looking to hire.  One or two spectacular treacheries like this, and suddenly the only people they\u2019d be <i>able<\/i> to hire, anymore, would be guys like Malawi, who\u2019d burnt every other possible bridge already.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I close my eyes and sigh.  Okay.  They aren\u2019t going to try anything obvious against us; they have to be stealthy.  But even so, someone\u2019s going to figure out that they set things up.  They\u2019re not doing it on their own, after <nobr>all\u2014<\/nobr> fuck.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cRat knows.  He warned me.  I\u2019d probably have gotten caught if it hadn\u2019t been for him.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s hand goes still again.  \u201cTell me.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cTonight\u2026 he came over and started showing off one of his new toys.  A virus designed to destroy a computer system.  When I tried to give the cards back to him, he wouldn\u2019t let me.  I told him that kind of stuff isn\u2019t my style, and he told me survival always is.  And when I was fighting the security <nobr>system\u2026<\/nobr> I\u2019m pretty sure it was him on the other end.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFuck.\u201d  Riddick\u2019s voice is speculative.  \u201cI wonder what kind of hold they have on that kid.  We\u2019ll have to be careful how we play this.  If he\u2019s on our side, we don\u2019t want to give  them any idea that\u2019s the case.  So you were using his program to escape?\u201d <\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nod.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGlad it worked, but that puts us in a bad spot.  Only way to keep them from realizing it\u2019s <i>his<\/i> is if we let the cat out of the bag about <i>you.<\/i>\u201d  He pauses, and his tone shifts again. \u201cActually, that can pay off.  We let them know about all those tendrils you have in their system, we have leverage over them.  We can turn the game around on them before they try to pretend the botched jobs are our fault.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWould they?\u201d  Now there\u2019s a scary thought.  I\u2019m only <i>just<\/i> making a name for myself; getting saddled with a reputation of having fatally fucked up a <nobr>job\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDamn right they would.  We\u2019re the sole survivors, you know.  They might try to pretend we\u2019re the ones who sold everybody out, and use that as an excuse to take us down.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shudder and look up at him.  \u201cWhat happened on your job?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A muscle jumps in his cheek again.  \u201cThe mark wasn\u2019t even there.  <i>I<\/i> was the one up for execution, not him.  They had it finessed so it\u2019d look like an accident but not well <i>enough.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThe rest of your team was there to kill you?\u201d  That\u2019s frightening.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYes and no.  I\u2019m pretty sure Catrall was in on it.  Not positive about Davies and Murphy.  Didn\u2019t matter.  My rule about situations like that is clear.\u201d  The coldness that creeps into his voice could freeze a man to death on its own.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shiver and nestle closer, needing to feel the warmth in the rest of him.  \u201cWhat rule is that?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A wry grin appears on his face and his expression softens as he looks down at me.  \u201cI revised it a while back, but it still works.  If I ended up in a firefight where I couldn\u2019t tell friend from foe, the rule used to be this: kill everybody who isn\u2019t me.\u201d <\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well, that certainly explains the Wailing War legends.  \u201cSo what\u2019s the rule now?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His free hand begins moving over my hair again.  \u201cKill everybody who isn\u2019t Jack.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now I\u2019m the one going still.  Two years ago he\u2019d told me something that had made me cry for hours.  About two years before that, I\u2019d thought he was going to leave me to die in a cave.  But this is the place I have in his heart.  Mine begins to ache in response.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Was he thinking about me during that firefight tonight?  Worrying that we\u2019d never see each other again?  I\u2019ve always told myself that he lives entirely in the here and now, but what he\u2019s just told <nobr>me\u2026<\/nobr> that doesn\u2019t match up.  Our eyes meet and lock.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There it is again.  There <i>I<\/i> am, caught in twin silver mirrors hanging above me.  I\u2019m prettier, in those reflections, than I remember being.  Is that what he sees when he looks at me?  Is that who I am to him?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>He gazed at me like this before, holding me in our bed and warming me once we got home.  I was shaking, cold from the drugs they\u2019d given me, and from my nerves.  Everything I\u2019d experienced was hitting home at last.  Above me, silver eyes kept watch over me, and I knew I was safe from everything but myself.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cWould you have taken care of her?\u201d I asked, crumpling up yet another spent tissue and tossing it at the wastebasket.  It missed.  We ignored it.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cHer?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cAmy.  If\u2026 I\u2019d been the one <nobr>to\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cYou didn\u2019t.\u201d  His voice was short suddenly.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cBut if I had.  I\u2019d asked her if she wanted a place to <nobr>stay\u2026<\/nobr> would you <nobr>have\u2026?\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>His mouth pressed down into a narrow line.  Finally he answered me.  \u201cI don\u2019t know, Jack.  Maybe.  If she\u2019d asked.  But losing <nobr>you\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  He looked away.  \u201cDon\u2019t think I\u2019d have wanted to let anybody else in after that.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>It was suddenly so important to me.  I couldn\u2019t figure out why, <nobr>but\u2026<\/nobr> there were so many of us.  Girls like <nobr>Amy\u2026<\/nobr> and me.  With no one to look out for them.  \u201cPromise me, if anything ever happens to me, <nobr>you\u2019ll\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cNo.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cBut <nobr>she\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo,<i> Jack.  I\u2019m sorry, but no.  If something happened to you, that\u2019d be it.  Anyway, I wouldn\u2019t just run out and get a new girl like I was buying a new <\/i>pet.<i>  That\u2019s not what you are.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I took a deep breath, and forced myself to let it go.  I knew how long it took us to get to know each other, two wary people who were accustomed to living at arms\u2019 length from anyone else in the universe.  If Riddick had died that night, I might have had to find a new <\/i>protector,<i> but I wouldn\u2019t have gone looking for a new <\/i>soulmate.<i>  I couldn\u2019t ask him to do that either.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>And what a strange word that was, to have in my head suddenly.  Soulmates.  Was that what we were?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cWhat am I?\u201d  I asked him, wondering if it would be the word he used.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>It wasn\u2019t.  He didn\u2019t use any word at all.  It was as if the question had suddenly robbed him of the ability to speak anything.  Our eyes just remained locked, our gazes snared and tangled, for a long time.  There were no words for the things I saw in his eyes, and on his face.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>The spell was only broken when he shifted his position, a look of discomfort on his face for a moment.  A look of embarrassment, almost.  Our scrub-clad bodies were no longer pressed together in quite the same way that they had been.  I couldn\u2019t figure out what, exactly, had changed at first.  Then I <nobr>realized\u2026<\/nobr> he\u2019d moved his pelvis away.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I wanted to glance down, but I couldn\u2019t, my eyes still locked with his.  So I shifted my position a little, bringing us back into contact for a fraction of a second before he moved again.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Oh.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>He had an erection.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Something changed on his face, a strange mixture of longing and shame crossing it for a moment before it vanished and was replaced by a strange blankness.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>And I didn\u2019t understand it <\/i>until now.  I must have been so out of it, two years ago, not to get what I was seeing, and feeling.  All the way back then, that was what he <nobr>wanted\u2026<\/nobr> he just wouldn\u2019t take it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d I whisper.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He tilts his head a little, quirking the corner of his mouth at me.  \u201cWhat for?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI only just realized how long you\u2019ve wanted me.\u201d  I shouldn\u2019t be bringing this up.  There are much more important things we should be talking about, like our next move against Niko.  And <i>this<\/i> is supposed to be a forbidden topic, <nobr>but\u2026<\/nobr> realizing <nobr>this\u2026<\/nobr> I\u2019m not sure what\u2019s changed inside me, but <i>something<\/i> has.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That same look of longing and shame appears on his face. And he looks away.  \u201cThat\u2019s not anything you have to apologize for.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My god\u2026 \u201cRick, how long <i>have<\/i> you wanted me?  I know it\u2019s at least since the night Amy died, <nobr>but\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He shakes his head.  His eyes meet mine again, and they\u2019re shocking.  I\u2019ve seen Riddick without his clothes hundreds of times over the last four years.  But I feel like I\u2019m seeing him <i>naked<\/i> in this moment.  \u201cFrom the start, Jack.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He bows his head in shame, and turns his face away, swallowing.  I have no words in me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFrom the start,\u201d he whispers again.<\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4010\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4010 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-11\">\u00ab Chapter 11<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4076\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4076 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-13\">Chapter 13 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"13\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4011\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4011 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-12\">\u00ab Chapter 12<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4077\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4077 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-14\">Chapter 14 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1913\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1913 \">  <h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>13.<br\/><u>Cerberus<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">If you ever wanted a sign of just how fucked up the universe is, try this one: the best sense of honor I\u2019ve ever found lives in the remorseless heart of a professional killer.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I know that really makes <i>me<\/i> think.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m doing first watch, sitting on the bed, holding my gun at the ready, while Riddick catches a little sleep.  I\u2019m supposed to wake him up in two hours and we\u2019ll switch off, which I\u2019m not looking forward to at <i>all<\/i>.  His sleep is light.  I can tell.  An unexpected noise or movement from me, and he\u2019ll snap into wakeful readiness.  So I have to just sit here.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well, hell, it\u2019s not like he never gave me any sentry training.  I can do this <nobr>shit\u2026<\/nobr> but I can\u2019t shut up my thoughts.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And they keep going back to the bombshell I made him drop on me tonight.  Because, you know, I really never thought he was attracted to me until things <i>happened<\/i> between us on my birthday.  That\u2019s how well he hid it, and how well he resisted whatever kinds of temptations I posed.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Half of me is confused as hell, but the rest of me is just plain damn impressed.  I mean, hell, I <i>offered<\/i> myself to him.  I figured, at the time, that the reason he refused was because I had no appeal to him, but now I know better.  He refused for <i>my<\/i> sake, not his own.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">You ever feel like you didn\u2019t give someone enough credit?  Like you made unflattering assumptions about them when they deserved more respect from you than that?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He looks so peaceful.  Well, hell, he usually does.  He always exudes such an air of confidence and power.  I remember marveling at that years ago, after the crash.  Chained to the wall of the <i>Hunter-Gratzner,<\/i> he looked like an emperor on a throne, not a prisoner.  Fry was scared to death of going near him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Such power.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That\u2019s my big consolation.  When I actually go to sleep, he\u2019ll hold me.  No matter what I dream \u2014 and I know it\u2019s gonna be bad \u2014 he\u2019ll have me and the only thing I won\u2019t be safe from is my own mind.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Unfortunately, that\u2019s still gonna be pretty bad.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I had nightmares for <i>months<\/i> after Amy died.  Several times a night, at first, but at least once every night.  There wasn\u2019t a single night that I didn\u2019t wake up shaking and crying in his fierce embrace.  He never tried to hit me with platitudes or words of empty comfort.  He just held me and kept his eyes turned away until he knew I was awake and wouldn\u2019t think they were <i>hers,<\/i> gone spectral in pursuit of me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m going to dream of Malawi\u2019s eyes tonight.  And Amy\u2019s.  I know it already.  It scares me because we have <i>real<\/i> enemies to worry about without my fucked-up head getting in on the act.  What if I have hysterics and he\u2019s too busy trying to calm me to hear <i>them<\/i> coming?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019ll hold me through them, I know that.  The way he\u2019s always held me.  I remember wishing, last time, that I could just sink into him, make my riotous thoughts vanish inside him.  If I\u2019d had any idea how he really felt about <nobr>me\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">God.  I\u2019d have taken <i>advantage<\/i> of him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d have <i>used<\/i> him.  What a nauseating thought.  I\u2019d have seduced him and slipped into one of my old dissociative trances while we had sex, a place where I could just float mindlessly.  No thought or feeling.  I\u2019d have exploited my best friend to get there.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">How much more disgusting can you get?  Jeez.  I\u2019m glad I didn\u2019t know.  I hope nothing like that happens tonight.  It\u2019d be so cruel of me.  He\u2019d be trying to give me pleasure and all I\u2019d be trying to do is escape from feeling at all.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I tried that last time, too.  Not with sex.  Well, not exactly.  But I knew what else I needed to do, to <nobr>escape\u2026<\/nobr> and boy did I ever try to do it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick had gone off on an assignment.  I knew he would be gone for several hours, possibly even overnight.  He\u2019d set me up with everything I might need, including a mild sedative I could take to keep my dreams away.  And that was what gave me the idea.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I decided I wanted something <i>stronger.<\/i> <\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We\u2019d left New Vancouver and headed for Wallalong Station only a few days after Amy.  The station was Niko\u2019s territory, now that I think about it.  Which meant vice.  Drugs and hookers.  I knew I could find what I needed.  And I\u2019d been through there once before, about a month before I made the dumbass mistake of stowing away on the <i>Hunter-Gratzner.<\/i>  I knew exactly where to go.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There was a guy on the lower levels, Teddy.  I\u2019d gotten some stuff from him once before and his prices were reasonable enough.  Especially considering I hadn\u2019t had any <i>money.<\/i>  If he was still in business, I could pick up some serious forgetfulness and Riddick would never know.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He was still there.  Best of all, he recognized me.  In fact, that knowing smirk said he knew even more about me than the first time around.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell, if it ain\u2019t the Good Girl.\u201d  He smirked at me.  \u201cYou know, if I\u2019d known I was getting blown by a movie star that day, I\u2019d have given you some extra.  I got all your videos now.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That made me feel really sick, but I didn\u2019t let it show.  Maybe I\u2019d get some extra this time around.  \u201cLike \u2019em?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh hell yeah.  These <i><nobr>assholes\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/i> He gestured around at the other men in the room, who chuckled in response. <nobr>\u201c\u2014wouldn\u2019t<\/nobr> believe me when I said I knew you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I pasted a smirk on my mouth and gave him a knowing look.  After all this time, that was a role I could still slip into without thinking. \u201cAnd boy did you ever.  Your guys don\u2019t have any faith.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">They laughed, not taking offense.  Maybe they were hoping that if they played their cards right, I\u2019d spread my legs for them while I was riding Teddy\u2019s white tiger.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Teddy grinned at me.  Yeah, he knew the score.  But he wanted to hear me say it, so he asked anyway.  \u201cSo what can I do for you today, baby?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Time for the inviting grin.  \u201cI thought we could do a little more business, like before.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The lewd comments started to fly in the background.  Teddy\u2019s smile widened.  \u201cExcellent.  Tell you what, I\u2019ll throw in an extra roll if you take me all the way like you did in \u2018Good Girls Cum Last.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Ugh.  <i>Why<\/i> had I come here again?  Oh yeah.  I needed to forget, in a big way.  Even if it meant dredging up older memories I\u2019d tried to put behind <nobr>me\u2026<\/nobr> at least those were memories that didn\u2019t make me wake up screaming.  Time to pull out my trademark \u201cFuck Me\u201d smile.  I knew it was what he wanted to see.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou\u2019ve got a deal, Teddy.  Show me what you got.\u201d  Double-entendre there.  I was disgusted with myself.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Just get through this, get home, and you can pretend it never happened.  Riddick\u2019ll never know.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Teddy reached into his pocket, chuckling, and drew out three plastic rolls of white powder.  He set them on the table next to him, and then his hands moved to the fastenings of his jeans.  A minute later he\u2019d pulled his dick out.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I blinked.  How <nobr>bizarre\u2026<\/nobr> it looked way too pale and little to be normal.  It had looked fine last time around, had he gotten sick or something?  I hid my expression, trying to figure out what was wrong with it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit, <i>nothing<\/i> was wrong with it.  I\u2019d just gotten used to a different standard.  That was what sharing a bathroom with Richard B. Riddick would do to you.  His was the only equipment I\u2019d seen in more than three years, and damn if it hadn\u2019t changed my standard of \u201cnormal\u201d on me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">If there\u2019s one thing you <i>never<\/i> do, though, it\u2019s let a guy know you think his dick is less than the biggest, most beautiful one you\u2019ve ever seen.  Never <i>ever.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDon\u2019t think I can exactly take it all in at that angle,\u201d I told him.  \u201cYou got somewhere we can lie down?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat won\u2019t be necessary.\u201d  I didn\u2019t know which chilled me more, the familiarity of that honey-graveled voice, or the coldness in it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Oh fuck. FUCK!<\/i>  Riddick had to have followed me there.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Teddy went pale.  I was pretty sure I did too.  He, at least, went for the bravado.  Suddenly I had none in me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHey\u2026 Cryer, isn\u2019t it?  How they hangin\u2019, man?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick ignored him, walking over to me.  I forced myself to stand my ground, but it was hard work.  The tight rage on his face was daunting.  I was probably the only one who could see it, though.  To everybody else he probably looked expressionless.  But you don\u2019t live with a man for three years without learning how to read his moods, and I had <i>never<\/i> seen him this furious.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His voice was mild and cold when he spoke to me. \u201cSlumming, baby?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit.  He was doing the Private Stash <nobr>act\u2026<\/nobr> making sure everybody in the room knew I was his property and untouchable.  I wouldn\u2019t have thought it possible but Teddy blanched even more.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Stand your <nobr>ground\u2026<\/nobr> stand your <nobr>ground\u2026<\/nobr><\/i>  I wanted to hide from him but I didn\u2019t dare.  That\u2019d just piss him off worse.  \u201cShopping.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He raised an eyebrow at me and glanced pointedly at the three white rolls.  \u201cThat your merchandise?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGonna be.\u201d  I hadn\u2019t bought it yet, and couldn\u2019t try to claim I had.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s eyes slid towards Teddy and his open fly, the man\u2019s half-deflated dick still poking out of it.  \u201cForget your purse?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What was he doing?  He knew I hadn\u2019t brought money.  He knew how I\u2019d intended to pay.  What was this game?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShit, man, I\u2019m sorry, I didn\u2019t know she was with <nobr>you\u2014\u201d<\/nobr> Teddy\u2019s apology died abruptly as Riddick shot him a single glance.  Around the room, his friends were tensing up, preparing to fight if it became necessary, <i>knowing,<\/i> from Riddick\u2019s reputation, that most of them would probably die if it came to that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s eyes came back to me, but he was addressing Teddy when he spoke.  \u201cWhat\u2019s the tab?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A pause.  \u201cTwo-fifty, man.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Never taking his eyes off of me, Riddick reached into his pocket.  He drew out his wallet, opened it, and counted out the money without even looking at it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I had never been so ashamed of myself.  The look in his eyes speared through me.  He was <i>disappointed.<\/i>  He wasn\u2019t just angry.  What I\u2019d done had <i>hurt<\/i> him.  Why had it <i>hurt<\/i> him?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He held out the wad of money to me.  \u201cGo get your stuff, baby.  We got things to do.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">For a moment I thought my hand wouldn\u2019t manage to take it, but my fingers closed around the bills.  They felt hot with his rage.  I took a deep breath and walked over to Teddy, <i>not<\/i> looking at his now completely limp dick.  Picking up the rolls, I set the money down in their place.  I even managed a muttered \u201cthanks, Teddy\u201d as I turned and walked back to Riddick\u2019s side.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He put his arm around me.  His hand on my shoulder was like a vise that had not yet begun to close, but might at any second.  It wasn\u2019t hard to play the cowed Private Stash being escorted out.  That was how I <i>felt.<\/i>  Thoroughly cowed.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His station-car was parked outside and he opened up my door for me.  I climbed in and took a deep breath, closing my eyes.  He didn\u2019t speak as he got in and keyed the ignition.  Our drive was silent, and I had no idea where we were going.  Home, I assumed.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Why hadn\u2019t I told him how bad things had gotten for me?  Why had I hidden it from him?  Why hadn\u2019t I told him that I\u2019d been obsessing over Amy, over her eyes, to the point where I could think of nothing else?  I\u2019d kept it from him, hidden from him just how far down I was spiraling, until I hit the rock-bottom and he found me out anyway.  It had been a long time \u2014 years \u2014 since I\u2019d felt so disgusted with myself.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I opened my eyes when he finally stopped the car, and stared with surprise at the complex in front of us.  Oren\u2019s factory.  What were we doing here?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s eyes were already on me when I turned to ask him, and the intensity of his gaze kept me silent and still.  Anger.  Sadness.  Hurt.  Yes, that was <i>hurt.<\/i>  And determination.  A long, interminable moment passed while he looked at me like that, before he finally broke the silence, holding out his hand.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGive me the rolls.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I handed them over without a sound.  A thousand things to say crowded in my throat \u2014 apologies, pleas, recriminations \u2014 but they jammed there and I got none of them out.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDon\u2019t move a muscle.\u201d  He opened his door and climbed out, slipping the rolls into his pocket.  I jumped a little as the door slammed, and flinched again as he locked me in.  He vanished into the factory.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My mind was racing, wondering what he was going to do.  Whenever Justine had had that look in her eyes, it had meant a beating.  But Riddick had <i>never<\/i> laid a hand on me.  Was that about to change?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He was gone for a long time, while I considered and discarded a thousand possible scenarios, and a thousand ways I could try to control the situation.  It was out of my control.  I\u2019d let go of that, completely, when I\u2019d gone looking for Teddy\u2019s wares.  When was the last time I\u2019d <i>been<\/i> in control?  No, I\u2019d given it all up.  Riddick owned the game now.  A huge part of me, I suddenly realized, was <i>relieved.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He climbed back into the car and dropped the rolls back into my lap.  \u201cHere.  Hold onto them.\u201d  Without another word, he started the engine up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I still couldn\u2019t talk, and he still wouldn\u2019t, for the entire drive home.  When we got there, he opened my door again and helped me out of the car.  Damn good thing, too, because my legs were shaking.  My hands could barely hold the drugs.  I felt like I\u2019d sold my soul for them.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He headed straight for our room, carrying a duffel bag I hadn\u2019t noticed before.  Opening the door, he walked over to the chair and sat down, turning it to face our bed.  \u201cOkay, kid.  You wanted it.  Now use it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d just climbed onto the bed, the urge to curl into a tiny ball strong inside me, when he said that, and it made my head jerk up with surprise.  \u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His liquid silver eyes had hardened into flint.  \u201cTake. Your. Medicine.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Oh\u2026 fuck.<\/i>  I sat up and stared down at the vials.  Shit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I hadn\u2019t thought any of this through.  I had no rubber hose or syringe.  A spoon was easy, but the <nobr>rest\u2026<\/nobr> I didn\u2019t have any of it.  If I\u2019d been at Teddy\u2019s, he\u2019d have let me use his, or maybe thrown in the equipment in exchange for a few more favors.  But this had been an impulsive idea.  I hadn\u2019t planned around taking the drugs here, even though I knew, on some level, I would have been sooner or later.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I had nothing to work with.  I looked up at him nervously and he arched an eyebrow at me, silently asking me why I was stalling.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well, shit.  This was the kind I could do in lines, too.  Was Riddick really going to <i>watch<\/i> me do it?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Yes.  He was.  Fuck.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I climbed off of the bed and walked over to the dresser, grabbing my hand mirror.  Part of me wanted to stomp as I walked, glare at him for being so unreasonable.  But I couldn\u2019t.  I was the one in the wrong here.  I carried the mirror over to the bed meekly, along with a nail file that was just going to have to serve as a straight razor.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I hadn\u2019t done lines in years and years, and mostly those had been prepared <i>for<\/i> me.  They were thick and sloppy on the glass and I wondered if Riddick was going to laugh at me for them.  I looked up and met his intense gaze.  There was no mockery in it.  I didn\u2019t understand what <i>was<\/i> in it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Fine.  Dammit, fine.  I can do this with you <nobr>watching\u2026<\/nobr><\/i>  I took a deep breath and closed one nostril with my finger.  At least, I thought, I knew he\u2019d watch over me.  He\u2019d be a better babysitter than Teddy or his boys, right?  Better by far.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">One line.  Two.  Three.  I rubbed at my nose and sat up, feeling light-headed.  I hadn\u2019t done that in forever.  It burned.  Had it burned like that before?  I couldn\u2019t remember.  My eyes were watering.  Riddick was opening up his duffel bag and taking out something made of white cloth that jingled a little.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Just relax,<\/i> I told myself.  Won\u2019t be long before you start to feel <nobr>it\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Pain, white-hot, lanced through my temples, making me cry out.  It vanished as swiftly as it came, leaving behind a strange, heavy gray buzz.  I felt dizzy.  The cloth jingled again and I tried to focus on it, but I could barely make it out.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Then the pain <i>really<\/i> hit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My body spasmed, arching and then curling into a ball, and then my legs kicked out.  Vaguely, over the rising  roar, I heard my mirror shatter.  Then strong hands had me.  For a moment my eyes managed to focus.  Riddick was pushing me down onto my back.  I turned my head and got a good look at the white cloth.  A jacket.  A white Jacket with long, long tapered <nobr>arms\u2026<\/nobr> and buckles.  <nobr>And\u2026<\/nobr> a gag.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It was the last thing I saw before the madness rolled over me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">You think you know what nightmares are.  Maybe you\u2019ve even had fever dreams and you think you know what that madness feels like.  It\u2019s a dark world where galaxies weigh less than feathers and a single atom is as dense as a black hole.  You feel it.  You taste it.  It shreds your sense of the real.  Do you know what those dreams are like?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">They\u2019re nothing compared to the dreams you have when Cerberus gets you.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can spot anyone who has Cerberus inside them, now.  When the word is spoken, there\u2019s a look that comes into our eyes.  We know that darkness.  We know those dreams.  And we can see them, again, when we look at that wise expression in one another\u2019s eyes.  But we can never, ever explain it.  It\u2019s something you have to live through.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Of course, you want to die when it\u2019s actually happening.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It lasts hours and hours.  When it\u2019s over, you\u2019re wrung out, weak as a kitten, your mouth dry and your throat hoarse from spending the whole time screaming or trying to.  If you\u2019re lucky, someone\u2019s gagged and bitted you and you haven\u2019t bitten your tongue.  I was, I guess, lucky.  I hardly felt that way.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick had moved the chair next to the bed and was sitting quietly in it.  I could hear his breathing and it seemed hyper-loud in my ear.  The dim light of the room, just a hint of dusk left, was glaring to my eyes.  I felt like my skin had been sloughed off.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cCan you hear me, Jack?\u201d  His voice hurt my ears.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I winced and managed a tiny nod and a grunt, and promptly decided I wasn\u2019t ever going to do that again.  My head began to pound.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m gonna take the gag off now.\u201d  His hands brushed my cheeks, startling a whimper out of me, and then he was unbuckling the bit and gag.  When he removed it I became aware that my jaw and teeth were aching.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I groaned, closing my eyes against the light.  His arms moved around my torso and he began to fiddle with my back.  It took me a moment to puzzle that out, and to realize that I was wearing a <i>straitjacket.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He took it off of me, pulling the long sleeves off of my limp arms.  Something smelled acrid.  My nose wrinkled as I tried to identify the smell and then suddenly I wanted to die all over again.  I\u2019d fucking <i>pissed<\/i> myself.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat\u2026 did\u2026 you\u2026\u201d  It hurt like hell just to form those three words.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWe\u2019ll talk about that later.  First let\u2019s get you cleaned up.\u201d  He lifted me off of the bed and carried me into the bathroom.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He had to bathe me like I was a baby.  I could barely move and couldn\u2019t even sit up, let alone stand.  It took forever and he ended up soaked before we were done.  And it hurt.  The nerves of my skin were raw, like every layer but the very last one above my meat had been peeled away.  There were tears, and even more humiliatingly, there was drool.  But slowly, towards the end, my body began responding to my commands again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He helped me into my bathrobe and led me back into the bedroom, sitting me down in the chair.  I watched as he stripped the bed.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I had the strength and spit to ask my question, finally.  It came out as a pained croak.  \u201cWhat did you do to me?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He glanced over at me, his expression sober.  \u201cI replaced your heroin with Cerberus.  Oren got it for me.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I could only stare at him in shock as I tried to fathom what he\u2019d just said.  Strange knowledge was in his eyes, the echo of my dreams swirling in their mercurial depths.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Cerberus?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d heard of it, of course.  Who hasn\u2019t?  It\u2019s the finest product of nanotechnology ever created, the \u201cliving\u201d vaccine against narcotics.  Rumor has it that the technology comes from <i>them,<\/i> the Others, but most people don\u2019t even believe in the Others anyway.  It\u2019s the most expensive substance ever created.  An ounce sells for ten thousand dollars, which is why so few people have ever been inoculated with it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well, that and the fact that you have to be gagged and straitjacketed or you\u2019ll tear yourself to pieces from the pain and hallucinations as it enters and sets up shop in your body.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Ten thousand dollars.  He\u2019d just spent ten thousand dollars making it so that I could never, ever shoot up again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He dumped the sheets in the hamper and began wiping down the surface of the mattress.  Fortunately it was a waterbed and <nobr>my\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>fluids\u2026<\/nobr> hadn\u2019t soaked in.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cBecause you can\u2019t do that shit anymore, Jack.  Ever.\u201d  His expression brooked no contradiction.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Rebellion flared to life in me.  How dare he just hijack my mind and body like that?  He\u2019d fucking put me through hell because he didn\u2019t like my ways of letting off steam?  \u201cI wasn\u2019t hurting anybody.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSure you were.\u201d  His voice was flat.  \u201cBoth of us.  You coulda told me how bad it was, kid.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Suddenly, weirdly, Amy\u2019s eyes seemed like nothing to me, compared to the maw of hell I\u2019d just peered into.  \u201cWhat good would that have done?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell <i>fuck,<\/i> Jack, I\u2019ve been trying to get you to <i>talk<\/i> to me about it for the last four months.  You know what your little game tonight could\u2019ve cost us?\u201d  Real fury entered his voice.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shook my head.  <i>Ten thousand dollars<\/i> popped into my head, but I had more sense than to get shitty with him now.  Something bigger was going on.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He knelt down in front of me, putting his hands on my knees.  \u201cI kill people for a living, Jack.  You know that.  I\u2019m paid well, by my employers, to make sure that nobody ever connects them to the deaths they\u2019ve ordered.  There can be <i>no<\/i> loose ends.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nodded, but his gaze kept boring into me, like I was missing his point.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThe last thing my employers would ever, <i>ever<\/i> stand for is <nobr>my\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>girlfriend\u2026<\/nobr> getting strung out on heroin and maybe babbling when she shouldn\u2019t or trying to cut a deal with the cops to beat a drug rap.  They even <i>thought<\/i> that was a possibility, do you know what they\u2019d do?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The room was freezing.  I shook my head silently, even though I had a horrible suspicion.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThey\u2019d want you taken care of.  By me.\u201d  The truth of what he meant was in his eyes.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My lips were stiff, bloodless and nerveless, but I forced them to move.  \u201cThey\u2019d tell you to kill me.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He nodded.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The next words were even harder, with my throat closed so tight I couldn\u2019t breathe or swallow.  I managed them at last.  \u201cWould you?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He was silent, motionless.  He didn\u2019t know the answer to that, himself.  Suddenly I understood everything.  Maybe he\u2019d refuse to again, the way he had when Johns had ordered him to kill me.  But maybe, just maybe, he\u2019d stand back and let them do it.  He wasn\u2019t sure.  He didn\u2019t know.  Maybe he\u2019d turn and fight for my life, the way he had on the planet when I\u2019d been trapped under the <nobr>bones\u2026<\/nobr> but maybe he\u2019d walk away, like he\u2019d <i>also<\/i> tried to do after Suleiman died.  He had no idea.  But I could see his suspicions in his eyes.  To fight for my life in that situation would be to commit <nobr>suicide\u2026<\/nobr> and Richard B. Riddick, whatever names he goes by, is <i>not<\/i> the suicidal type.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I would die, no matter what happened.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The silence was dragging out, becoming sepulchral, almost as if the worst-case scenario had unfolded.  I could barely feel the residual pain that still plagued my skin and bones, over this new, horrible, hollow ache.  So I think I was as surprised as he was when I suddenly screamed and shoved his hands away from me, scrambling back and away from him.  I fell off of the chair and scuttled across the bedroom, forcing open the closet door and crawling inside.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I curled into a ball, rocking myself and sobbing.  He only let me stay like that for a minute.  When he pulled me up to my feet and out of the closet, all of the resistance had fled my limbs.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Our bodies were pressed together in a way that would keep me from struggling if I started up again, and his mouth was by my ear.  \u201cThat is never, <i>ever<\/i> gonna happen, Jack.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shook my head, still crying too hard to even try to speak.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cListen<\/i> to me.  For that day to come, you\u2019d have to fall awfully far.  And I\u2019m <i>never<\/i> gonna let you fall.\u201d  The iron in his voice was no longer cold.  \u201cDo you hear me, Jack?  <i>I will never let you fall.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He rocked me on the bed while my raw emotions and nerves began to settle.  I felt like every door into scalding darkness had been flung open inside my mind.  Slowly we settled, curled together on the sheetless bed.  I knew he wasn\u2019t lying to me, <nobr>but\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIf\u2026 that day ever does <nobr>come\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt won\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cRick.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He understood what I was asking, finally.  \u201cYou won\u2019t know.  You won\u2019t feel a thing.  But that day is never coming.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I closed my eyes, perversely relieved by his promise that my death would be fast.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI will never let you fall,\u201d he murmured again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It was weeks before I felt normal.  He never actually said so, but the way he knew what I was feeling, and needing, told me that Cerberus lived inside him, too.  I wondered when he\u2019d taken it, and what he\u2019d seen in his dreams, but I never asked.  You never do.  Not once you\u2019ve got it inside <i>you.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Funny how, once I got over my panic, my trust in Riddick wasn\u2019t merely <nobr>intact\u2026<\/nobr> it was stronger than ever.  You\u2019d think I\u2019d feel a little <i>resentment<\/i> or something, for the man who inflicted that on me.  But I don\u2019t.  Nobody\u2019d ever cared enough about me to do something like that, not until him.  Not many people can do <i>normal<\/i> Tough Love, let alone <i>that.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My nightmares about Amy, and her eyes, vanished.  Or if I still dreamed about them, I no longer woke up screaming.  It felt like my brain had turned a corner, but slowly that trippy feeling faded, too.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We\u2019ve never spoken about that day, since.  It\u2019s not hanging over us or wedged between us.  When I think about it now, it\u2019s with a weird sense of almost nostalgia.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can\u2019t explain that, either.  But he showed me just how deep his caring for me goes, that day.  Ten thousand dollars deep.  Risking that I\u2019d hate him forever deep.  Seeing me at my absolute worst, and not turning away deep.  That\u2019s love.  That\u2019s real.  Like the way his hands moved over me tonight as he checked for any possible damage or injury.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019ll never let me fall.  I feel like I\u2019ve just remembered something hugely important, something I\u2019d forgotten for a long time.  I\u2019m suddenly not afraid to go to sleep, now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His eyes open and he looks up at me with a faint smile.  \u201cMy turn.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">No, there\u2019s no stain between us.  He sits up and holds his hand out for the gun.  There\u2019s another under the pillow, just in case I need to grab for one in a hurry, but the one I\u2019m holding is the best.  I give it to him and lie down, impulsively putting my head back in his lap.  As I close my eyes, I feel his hand on my hair.  He has me.  I\u2019m <nobr>safe\u2026<\/nobr> and loved.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Never let me <nobr>fall\u2026<\/nobr><\/i><\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4011\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4011 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-12\">\u00ab Chapter 12<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4077\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4077 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-14\">Chapter 14 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"14\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4012\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4012 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-13\">\u00ab Chapter 13<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4078\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4078 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-15\">Chapter 15 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1916\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1916 \">  <h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>14.<br\/><u>Darksider<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Cops don\u2019t knock that softly.  Raiders don\u2019t knock at all.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wouldn\u2019t even be waking up if Riddick\u2019s legs weren\u2019t sliding out from under my head.  How did I fall asleep that deeply?  And I was so sure I was gonna have nightmares, too.  I don\u2019t remember any dreams at all.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick has his comm in his hand and is disarming the lock as he approaches the door.  His other hand is still holding the gun, but his posture is relaxed.  He\u2019s not worried.  I slip my hand under the pillow anyway, and feel the reassuring steel of the backup gun.  Just in case.  As the door opens, my fingers close around it and then relax.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Rat slips in through the door, as scurrying and nervous as his namesake.  His eyes meet mine and the tension leaves his body.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThank <i>God<\/i> it worked!  Are you okay, Jackie!?\u201d  He hurries over to the bed and sits down next to me.  Next thing I know my hands are in his, the gun still under the pillow and irrelevant.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I never had a brother or sister.  Is this what one would be like?  A hard knot forms in my throat as I try to answer him, and next thing I know he\u2019s hugging me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShe was right, then?  You were on the other end of that connection?\u201d  Riddick\u2019s voice is cold and cautious.  Rat tenses, but just a little.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah.  That was me.\u201d  He\u2019s patting my hair now like I\u2019m a little kid.  \u201cHow come you took so long to use it, Jackie?  I kept waiting for you to.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The way he\u2019s hugging me, my first words come out sounding like \u201cAyehagoohagow.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Rat chuckles nervously and draws back.  I wipe at my eyes and try again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI had to log out of some places I was in.  Hall of records, the police dispatching system, things like that.  So they wouldn\u2019t go down with the security system.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019ve wanted to see this look of awed respect in Rat\u2019s eyes for months.  Funny how I wish I could have come by it another way.  \u201cYou have taps in all those?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nod and get myself a tissue.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">For a moment Rat looks severe. \u201cYou two been holding out on me.\u201d  Then his smile dawns brightly. \u201cI\u2019m glad.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThe others,\u201d I start.  <nobr>\u201cThey\u2019re\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I choke on the words.  Riddick is behind me on the bed, suddenly, and his arms are around my waist.  Rat nods solemnly.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHe was gonna try to pin it on you if you made it out.  Until you used the chip.  He doesn\u2019t know I made that program and I\u2019m not telling him.  Far as he knows, it\u2019s yours and that means he doesn\u2019t know if he can control the situation.  I\u2019m supposed to bring you guys to him.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I feel Riddick\u2019s low growl in the base of my spine before it becomes audible.  \u201cI\u2019m not letting him anywhere near her.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Rat looks me over and nods.  \u201cYou\u2019re probably right.  She gonna be safe here while you two deal?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I grin, feeling a need to show that no, my vertebrae have <i>not<\/i> turned into one big floppy Twizzler, and reach under the pillow.  I take out the gun and arm it, and watch astonished respect of a new kind dawn in Rat\u2019s eyes.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI didn\u2019t know you <i>packed,<\/i> Jackie.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shrug, feeling Riddick chuckle behind me, the sound vibrating down my spine.  \u201cMost of the time I don\u2019t.  When I need to, I do.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Rat nods.  Then his face becomes nervous again.  \u201cLook, uh, I hate to rush you, Rick, but if we don\u2019t get moving soon, he\u2019s gonna wonder what we\u2019re talking about.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There\u2019s something funny in Rat\u2019s face.  Like there\u2019s something he doesn\u2019t want to say in front of me.  I think Riddick must have noticed it too, because he\u2019s stiffened a little.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah, let\u2019s get going.  Jack, I want you on the wires.  You watch what\u2019s going on and you buzz me right away if there\u2019s any kind of setup.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWill do.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Another funny look from Rat.  He didn\u2019t know I\u2019d tapped into the club\u2019s cameras?  I never told him but I always figured he <i>knew<\/i> and was leaving them alone.  I nod up at Riddick and lean back against him for a moment, taking what brief solace I can from his presence.  Since Rat probably thinks we\u2019re fuck-buddies like everybody else, I can do that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Just like Riddick can kiss the top of my head before he stands up.  He doesn\u2019t bother with any weapons.  Going into Niko\u2019s club armed after last night would be an invitation to war.  And he has <i>himself<\/i> as a weapon.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I don\u2019t know much about where he trained but he\u2019s one of the most brilliant fighters I\u2019ve ever seen.  He always tells me that the weapons you have at the start of a fight are less important than the ones you can take away from your enemies.  I\u2019ve seen him do that, too, go into a fight bare-handed and end up with everybody\u2019s guns and knives.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Niko had better not be trying to play us today.  It\u2019s been a long time since anyone\u2019s given Riddick an excuse to go after one of his employers.  That resulted in the legendary Wailing War Massacre, so the story goes.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He doesn\u2019t take treachery kindly.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It takes him about three seconds to get ready as a result, during which time I finally realize I\u2019m still just in my bathrobe and the damn thing\u2019s hanging partway open.  At least Rat\u2019s gay and <nobr>Riddick\u2019s\u2026<\/nobr> Riddick.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I pull the robe closed as I get up, and go over to my laptop.  Damn, I\u2019m going to miss that little palmtop.  It was perfect for heists.  I hope Riddick will let me get another one like it.  Not that I have any idea what\u2019s going to happen now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick is at the door now, with Rat.  \u201cI\u2019m arming the security system.  Stay near the desk and keep your gun close.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nod and watch them leave.  Then I power up and begin my infiltration.  I\u2019m into the security system in moments, calling up all the camera angles and sifting through them.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The cleaning crews are hard at work on the nightclub, its last revelers probably only having gone home a little bit before dawn.  That blonde bitch is pacing in one of the suites, smoking.  Mrs. Papadopoulos.  Niko\u2019s wife, who hates me because her husband wants something from me he\u2019s never going to get.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">More guards on the doors than usual, armed with weapons-scanners.  They\u2019re expecting Riddick to make a play.  I look at a few more angles and then dial him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Usually he answers within two rings.  This time it\u2019s four.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cCryer.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt\u2019s me.  Niko\u2019s got a shitload of extra muscle and it looks like they\u2019re packing.\u201d  Funny.  Those background sounds are like the ones in our garage, not traffic noises.  Shouldn\u2019t he be halfway to Niko\u2019s by now?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFormation?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cUm\u2026 three on the main entry.  With weapons scanners and automatics.  Two on each of the side entries.  Looks like they\u2019re all wired in and talking to each other.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJust on the outside entries?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I check the images again.  \u201cYeah.  Niko\u2019s got one guy on his office door but that\u2019s it, and it\u2019s Dmitri.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGood.  Sounds like he\u2019s expecting me to make trouble but not expecting to make it himself.  Smart move on his part.  Anything else?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo, that\u2019s it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGet yourself a front-row seat to Niko\u2019s office, and record everything for posterity.  I\u2019ll be there soon.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Right as he clicks off I hear two sounds that puzzle me.  Brakes, echoing like in our garage.  And a weird, wet cough.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What was that?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh well.  Maybe I\u2019ll find out later.  I take his advice and work on getting a good feed of Niko\u2019s office up, complete with sound, and hit \u201crecord.\u201d  And wait.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And wait.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Finally the door opens and Riddick enters the room, his arm around Rat.  Rat\u2019s hunched over or something, his face turned away from the camera.  Niko looks up and goes still for a long moment.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou didn\u2019t have to get so nasty, Cryer,\u201d he says after swallowing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSure I didn\u2019t.  You tried to have your flunkies kill me, and the cops on the payroll arrest my girl, out of the goodness of your heart.\u201d  Riddick\u2019s voice is cold, cruel, and a little poised.  Like he\u2019s putting on an act of some kind.  I\u2019m probably the only one who\u2019d notice that, though.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat had nothing to do <nobr>with\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHim?  Right.  Jackie said she could recognize him on the other end of the line, fighting her.  And he admitted it, too, after a little persuasion.  Didn\u2019t you, rat-boy?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Rat straightens a little and I feel cold flood through my body as I finally get a good look at his face.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>What the fuck?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick beat the shit out of him.  Jesus, he must have done that in our garage before they went to Niko\u2019s place!  <i>Why?<\/i>  Rat was being totally honest with us, why\u2019d he need to do that?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I <i>like<\/i> Rat.  He\u2019s one of the few friends other than Riddick I\u2019ve <i>got.<\/i>  What\u2019s going on here?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Rat coughs.  Again.  That was him I heard in the garage before.  I wonder if Riddick knocked out any of his teeth and I hope not.  Rat\u2019s always had the sweetest smile.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat the fuck happened?\u201d I whisper, and for a second I\u2019m afraid somehow they\u2019ll hear me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah,\u201d Rat wheezes.  \u201cThat\u2019s <nobr>right\u2026<\/nobr> sorry boss, I tried not to tell him.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The look Niko gives Rat is a mixture of impatience and false kindness.  \u201cThat\u2019s okay, Rat.  I know you couldn\u2019t stand up to him.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Rat hobbles over to one of the chairs and sits down, another wheeze escaping him.  Niko ignores him, now, his attention entirely on Riddick.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo what happens now, Mr. Cryer?  Under the circumstances I\u2019m surprised you came here at all.  You\u2019re outgunned.  In fact, you don\u2019t have any guns at all.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI got something better,\u201d Riddick replied.  Then his voice changed, aimed up at the air. \u201cJack, baby, I want you to shut down the security system for the nightclub, please.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Jesus, Riddick, couldn\u2019t you have clued me in beforehand?<\/i>  I almost expect my fingers to snap off as they race to execute the command.  A moment later it\u2019s done.  Niko almost jumps out of his chair as the club\u2019s system first squeals and then goes dead.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHow did you\u2026?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI didn\u2019t.  She did.  You know, the girl you set up last night.  She doesn\u2019t like you much.  And there\u2019s a lot more to her than you ever knew.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Niko is silent for a moment, digesting that.  I get up and go to my mucky clothes from last night, digging out the chips Rat gave me.  The green one, the inoculation, goes into my drive and whirs to life.  I\u2019m not going to lose the laptop, too, to this game.  As Niko begins to speak I begin taking myself out of all the other networks I\u2019m connected to.  In a moment it\u2019ll be just the two of <nobr>us\u2026<\/nobr> me, and Niko\u2019s system.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo what\u2019s the play, Cryer? Your girl can\u2019t disarm my men\u2019s guns.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick chuckles.  \u201cYou really ain\u2019t thinking this through, are you?  Jack has control of your <i>entire security system.<\/i>  You\u2019re on Candid Camera right now.  Everything you\u2019re saying, she\u2019s recording.  You do me dirty, you won\u2019t survive the week, assuming you survive <i>your own gun emplacements.<\/i>  It\u2019s too late to pretend you didn\u2019t try to betray us.  It\u2019s all on disc now.  So maybe we should start with what you are gonna do for me. In reparation.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I have to wonder why Rat isn\u2019t warning Niko about the \u201ctactical nuke\u201d he gave me.  I hope Niko\u2019s system isn\u2019t already inoculated.  That\u2019d leave us <nobr>dead\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cReparation?  Your girl sent Rat\u2019s whole system into meltdown last night with that whatever-it-is she did.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That answers that question.  Niko thinks the nuke came from me.  He doesn\u2019t know its real origin, and that means he probably isn\u2019t protected from it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Damn it, why\u2019d Riddick have to beat Rat up?  He\u2019s on <i>our<\/i> side!<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMaybe if you hadn\u2019t been trying to fuck us over, that wouldn\u2019t have happened.\u201d  The sneer is practically dripping off of every word Riddick says.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Niko looks tense.  He forces himself to relax, maybe remembering that there <i>are<\/i> automatic weapons installed in his walls, but they aren\u2019t under his control anymore.  Calling for a guard would be an exercise in futility and a waste of a good guard.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat do you want?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFirst, your word.  You\u2019re never gonna try to make another play for Jack again.  She\u2019s off limits.  Forever.  You don\u2019t touch her.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Niko tries to get away with a nod.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201c<i>Say<\/i> it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI won\u2019t ever touch her.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSwear it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A pause.  Tension running up and down the lines of Niko\u2019s suit.  \u201cI swear it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSecond, you keep your skank of a wife away from me.  And if she tries any more stunts like the other night, with the raid on the apartment below us?  I\u2019ll kill her and you\u2019ll watch and enjoy it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWait, that <nobr>was\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat was her.  I know you only want me dead, but she wants Jack dead too.  She pulls even one more scheme like that and she dies slow.\u201d  A creepy note enters his tone, like he\u2019s imagining the act of killing her and enjoying it a little too much.  I\u2019m glad I know Riddick well enough to know he\u2019s faking.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Niko probably has no idea, though.  Given the way Riddick used to play Dracula with all the women he picked up at the club, I\u2019ll bet Niko\u2019s imagining some really twisted shit about now.  And imagining having to watch it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wonder if he loves his wife.  Would he fight Riddick to stop that from happening, if the threat were real?  Risk his life for her?  Hell, he started all this crap when he told her to seduce Riddick.  I can\u2019t even begin to guess.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Of course, the threat\u2019s not real.  <i>If<\/i> Riddick kills Mrs. Papadopoulos, it\u2019ll be over fast.  That\u2019s just his style, even when he\u2019s dealing with someone he really hates.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Niko gives a little shake of his head.  \u201cAgreed.  Wait, this means <nobr>you\u2019re\u2026?\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cStaying on.  Unless you want us to move on.  But it seems to me like you\u2019re short some of your best wetworks men now.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Niko shudders.  Yeah, the guys who were supposed to kill \u201cRick Cryer\u201d are very dead now.  I wonder if they\u2019d even have been willing to try if they\u2019d known who they were really facing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The last time an employer turned on Richard B. Riddick, he and five hundred of his troops ended up dead.  I rarely ever think about that because it gives Riddick this superhuman vibe that\u2019s hard to relate to.  He never talks about it anyway.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The old Riddick, before the planet and Carolyn and taking me in, would have done it again.  The walls of Niko\u2019s club would be running with blood by now.  I wonder if that would still be the case if he didn\u2019t have me to protect.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019ll have to give it some thought,\u201d Niko hedged.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cMy<\/i> loyalty ain\u2019t in doubt here, Mr. Papadopoulos,\u201d Riddick said, impatience entering his voice.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What the hell?  Why aren\u2019t we taking advantage of this opportunity to <i>leave?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cVery well.  This stays between us?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick nods. \u201cJust the four of us.  Well, and, anyone you told who didn\u2019t die last night.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I suspect there are going to be a few \u201caccidents\u201d on the police force in the next few days.  I hope he doesn\u2019t try to get Riddick involved in those executions.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThis doesn\u2019t get out.  Ever.\u201d  Hard spine re-enters Niko\u2019s voice.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat\u2019s up to you.  Try to play us again and it will.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I watch Niko\u2019s face.  There\u2019s no guilt or shame there.  No sense that he did anything <i>dumb,<\/i> let alone anything wrong.  As far as he\u2019s concerned, the only thing that went wrong is that he got caught.  He\u2019s got no conscience.  Not even a hint.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick turns toward Rat again.  \u201cGonna give you a little present, too.  Call it job security.  You\u2019re gonna get to try to repair Niko\u2019s security system in a few minutes.\u201d  He turns and waves at the camera.  \u201cI\u2019m heading home, baby.  After I clear the building, you know what to do.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Yeah, I <i>knew<\/i> that red chip was coming out again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick moves to the door.  He pauses and glances back at Niko, irony in every line of his body, every word.  \u201cGood doing business with you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I watch him leave, switching cameras on and off to track his passage.  After he pulls away, I load the red chip.  As the camera dies, Rat\u2019s already trying to fight the \u201cnuke\u201d on Niko\u2019s terminal.  This time my system doesn\u2019t die too.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m hanging onto these things.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It\u2019s addictive.  I didn\u2019t make these programs but suddenly it\u2019s like I\u2019ve found a good tool and I want to use it on everything.  Jesus.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But thinking about Rat is tying my stomach in knots.  Why the hell did Riddick beat him up?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">When I hear the buzz of the security system cut out, I rise from my seat, surprising myself a little with the fighting stance I step into.  I\u2019m not really going to try to take him, am I?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He raises his eyebrow at me as he enters and sees my stance, but doesn\u2019t say anything.  He just closes the door.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhy\u2026\u201d I start slow, but suddenly all of the impotent fury from last night is pouring through my words. <nobr>\u201c\u2026the<\/nobr> <i>fuck<\/i> did you beat up Rat, Rick?  He\u2019s on our side.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He leans against the door and folds his hands in front of him.  \u201cIt was his idea.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt was <i>what?\u201d<\/i>  That made absolutely no sense.  Why would Rat ask for a pounding like that?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDon\u2019t worry.  I wasn\u2019t as rough on him as it looks.  It\u2019s all bruises and swelling.  No broken bones or teeth.  It\u2019s mostly for show.  So Niko won\u2019t realize he was helping us last night.  You realize Rat\u2019d end up in the river if Niko thought for a second he couldn\u2019t trust him.  But a beating like <nobr>that\u2026<\/nobr> made it clear to Niko that <i>we<\/i> didn\u2019t trust Rat, and blamed him for what happened.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I shake my head, trying to picture this.  Rat\u2019s a skinny, scrawny guy, frail almost.  He has a reputation for physical cowardice, he wouldn\u2019t <nobr>ask\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Unless, of course, that reputation of his is as misleading as mine is.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHe asked you to do it?  Really?\u201d  I think part of me needs to believe it, but I <i>will<\/i> ask Rat when I can get him somewhere secure, just to be sure.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick gives me a rueful grin and pushes off of the door.  \u201cTruth is, I think he kinda enjoyed it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Appalled laughter explodes out of me.  \u201cHe <i>what?\u201d<\/i>  Talk about <nobr>rationalization\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick shakes his head and the grin widens.  \u201cThat boy\u2019s a darksider.  Never woulda guessed, but it gets kind of obvious when the guy you just punched in the face gets a <i>hard-on.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh shit.\u201d  I cover my mouth.  My belligerence has given way to slap-happy giggles.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick shrugs out of his coat, chuckling himself now.  \u201cI promise, I didn\u2019t hurt him much.  He\u2019ll be okay.  Anyway, Niko needs him too much, to fix the mess you made of their systems, to take him out.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo you, <nobr>uh\u2026\u201d<\/nobr> I have to swallow down the laughter that keeps trying to bubble out.  <nobr>\u201c\u2026mangled<\/nobr> his face to keep him from getting killed?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cPretty much.  And like I said, it was his idea.\u201d  Riddick heads into the kitchen and I follow him.  \u201cYou hungry?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I think about it for a moment and realize that yes, by God, I <i>am.<\/i>  \u201cBring it on.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">By the time Riddick\u2019s done making breakfast for us, I\u2019m over the whole thing with Rat\u2019s face.  I wonder if I\u2019d have the guts to take a beating like that in his position, or if I\u2019d just run.  Not that it\u2019s ever going to be an issue.  I\u2019m <i>Riddick\u2019s<\/i> little sidekick and I never have to be afraid of him pulling that kind of treachery on me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That\u2019s what happens when you sign on with an honorable man.  I\u2019m feeling and understanding Riddick\u2019s sense of honor better than ever now.  He\u2019s kept me safe from monsters, human and <nobr>otherwise\u2026<\/nobr> and he\u2019s kept me safe from himself.  All those years, he never once let me see anything of his interest, so that I\u2019d never feel some sense of obligation to <nobr>him\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhat?\u201d He raises his eyebrows at me and I realize I\u2019ve been staring at him.  Half the answers that pop into my head shock me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSorry, I was\u2026 thinking.\u201d  I clear my throat and then take the plate he\u2019s holding out to me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick shrugs it off and begins eating, but damn if my mind is racing now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Wasn\u2019t <i>I<\/i> the one who told <i>him<\/i> that it could never happen again?  Wasn\u2019t I the one who made those threats about what would happen if it did?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit.  I\u2019m so confused.  Something\u2019s changed inside me and I don\u2019t understand what.  Is it that sense of obligation he was trying to shield me from?  Is that why I want to drag him over to the bed?  I don\u2019t recall ever feeling like <i>this<\/i> over  a mere gratitude fuck, though.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What the hell is happening to me?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh.  There\u2019s food in front of me, isn\u2019t there?  I suppose I\u2019d better get to eating it before Riddick gets curious.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019s fine.  He\u2019s <i>relaxed.<\/i>  Mission accomplished, problem dealt with, casualties \u2014 the few he cares about \u2014 at a minimum.  For him it\u2019s all over now.  I know I\u2019m going to take a lot longer to process it.  There\u2019s a lot, there, to get over.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A lot to figure out.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Done eating, I clear the table and start washing the dishes, still lost in thought.  Riddick\u2019s hand comes to rest on the back of my head.  I look up into his searching gaze.  He\u2019s just making sure I\u2019m okay; I give him a reassuring smile.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019ll be fine.  I just need to figure all of this out.  I\u2019m acting, on the inside anyway, like some lovesick schoolgirl or something, and that\u2019s just too weird for me.  I need to work this out, figure out if it\u2019s the near-death experience talking or genuine desire.  I can\u2019t upend our relationship all over again if this is just a knee-jerk reaction to almost getting killed.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But how I wish I could have woken up this morning with him holding me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Dishes done, I venture out to see what Riddick\u2019s up to.  He\u2019s stretching, pulling his limbs in various directions to make them as flexible as possible.  Given how double-jointed he is, that\u2019s pretty damn flexible, too.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo, now what happens?  I notice you said we\u2019re sticking around?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick nods. \u201cGotta keep an eye on him for a while, just in case he smells a rat in Rat.  I asked Rat if he wanted to blow this planet with us and I think he was <i>tempted,<\/i> but something\u2019s still got a hold on him here.  Until I find out what, he\u2019s at Niko\u2019s mercy.  I don\u2019t much like that.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Any lingering doubts I had about the beating vanish.  I didn\u2019t realize Riddick had ever noticed Rat, let alone liked him this much.  Or is it Rat\u2019s apparent loyalty to <i>me?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah,  I don\u2019t want him getting into trouble for saving my ass.  So, what else happens now?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick chuckles.  \u201cWell, Niko\u2019s got a huge mess on his hands to straighten out.  It\u2019ll probably take him a few days before he can open the club back up.  He <i>might<\/i> call on one or both of us to help out with the cleanup, but I doubt it.  So we got some free time to kill.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAnd we\u2019re safe?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He nods.  \u201cVery definitely.\u201d  He gives me another searching look.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wait, sensing that he\u2019s about to ask me something, or tell me something, that he\u2019s a little unsure of.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIn fact,\u201d he finally says, \u201cwe can finally do something I\u2019ve been meaning to do for a while.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I keep waiting expectantly.  He gets up and walks over to the closet, opening the door and kneeling down.  As I watch, he pulls out a dark blue duffle bag that clanks heavily as he sets it on the floor.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He pulls the bag\u2019s zipper open and begins drawing out the chains inside.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Jeez.  And he calls <i>Rat<\/i> a <nobr>darksider\u2026<\/nobr><\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4012\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4012 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-13\">\u00ab Chapter 13<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4078\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4078 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-15\">Chapter 15 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"15\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4013\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4013 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-14\">\u00ab Chapter 14<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4079\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4079 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-16\">Chapter 16 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1919\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1919 \">  <h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>15.<br\/><u>Elephants<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Richard B. Riddick wasn\u2019t just known for his massive kill-count.  He was known as the best escape artist in the history of humankind since Houdini.   No cell could hold him for long.  No prison could contain him.  And there wasn\u2019t a restraint made that he couldn\u2019t get out of.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That kind of reputation hasn\u2019t adhered to \u201cRick Cryer,\u201d of course.  As far as I know, he\u2019s never been arrested unless it happened during those two weeks he was missing.  But if he ever is, it will.  Of course, if he\u2019s arrested before I can find a way to get into the GBI\u2019s records, the universe will know that Rick Cryer <i>is<\/i> Richard B. Riddick.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But as far as escape artistry goes, he\u2019s not rusty.  At all.  He doesn\u2019t let himself get that way.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That\u2019s where a lot of our money goes, and why we\u2019re not living it up after some of the jobs we\u2019ve pulled.  Every time a new lock, or security system, or restraint comes out on the market, Riddick buys one and works on learning how to beat it.  He teaches me how, too, after he\u2019s figured it out.  Most of them give up their secrets <i>really<\/i> easily to him, but there\u2019s the occasional alarm system that takes more than one unit before he figures out how to crack it without destroying it.  One time he went through five before figuring it out.  <i>That<\/i> was expensive.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It\u2019s like me with computers.  Any new security program comes out and Riddick gets hold of a copy for me, so I can learn how to beat it if I can.  I\u2019ve gotten to the point where I can do it five times out of ten with no assistance, which really isn\u2019t too bad.  It means most of the ones in common use are vulnerable to me.  Another three out of ten, I get with a little help.  I show Riddick how to do it, but most of the time he leaves that to me.  He\u2019s decent enough at it, but computers are <i>not<\/i> his thing.  He doesn\u2019t understand how they think, so if something goes wrong, he\u2019s lost without a map.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But then again, there are a lot of locks and restraints he has no problem with that I\u2019ve never been able to <i>budge,<\/i> so we\u2019re even.  Makes us a pretty complementary set, come to think of it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Anyway, that\u2019s Riddick\u2019s big hobby: picking up new restraints and learning how to get out of them.  My role is to help him get them on, the way a cop or a merc would put them on him, and to watch his back while he\u2019s indisposed, just in case.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick lays out the new set of restraints and tosses me the manual for their use.  I start reading through it, studying the diagrams of how the chains are supposed to be put on a \u201cperp.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo, what\u2019s so special about these?\u201d  I examine the diagram carefully.  Lock his hands behind his back, with a short chain down to ankle cuffs.  The prisoner is forced to kneel by the shortness of the chain, or can be made to lie on his stomach or side.  Damn uncomfortable-looking.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cRedundant locking mechanisms,\u201d Riddick tells me, straightening out the chains and separating the cuffs. \u201cTwo locks per cuff.  The idea is that you might be able to stress-pop <i>one<\/i> lock, but not both.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo you figured out how to stress-pop both?\u201d  I\u2019m pretty sure I can put this on him, now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI think so.\u201d  He gives me his <i>I\u2019m invincible<\/i> grin as reassurance.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI gotta see this.\u201d  I grin back at him and come over to his side.  He gets down on his knees and puts his hands behind his back.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Damn, he\u2019s almost <i>eager<\/i> for this.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Come to think of it, he always has been.  I don\u2019t know for sure if he\u2019s ever done this with anyone else, but I don\u2019t think he has.  He gets like a kid about to go to the circus when it\u2019s time for one of these rounds.  I kneel down beside him and pick up the <nobr>cuffs\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Weird.  His breath caught when he heard me lift them.  Like he\u2019s excited and trying not to show it or something.  I\u2019ve often <nobr>wondered\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">No, no way.  Not Riddick.  That\u2019s just silly.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019s been in and out of prison for a huge chunk of his life.  He <i>hates<\/i> it.  Why would he have a thing for being chained up?  That\u2019s what mercs do to him, not what the women he used to pick up <nobr>did\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My mouth seems to have an impulsive mind of its own.  \u201cIf I didn\u2019t know any better I\u2019d think you were getting turned <i>on<\/i> by this.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His head swings sharply towards me.  For a moment emotions flash across his face \u2014 confusion?  Alarm?  <i>Guilt?<\/i> \u2014 before his expression settles back into calm.  There\u2019s something inauthentic about the smirk he conjures.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou know me.  King of kink.\u201d  He winks at me.  \u201cWhip me, beat me, make me sign <nobr>bad\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019d almost think you were trying to hide truth behind hyperbole.\u201d  Shit, now he just looks uncomfortable.  I have <i>got<\/i> to get my mouth under control.  I reach down and take his wrist in my hand.  His pulse seems faster than usual.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Deep breath.  I can do this for him.  It doesn\u2019t help that part of me <i>wants<\/i> him to be turned on by <nobr>this\u2026<\/nobr> by <nobr>me\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The first cuff locks on smoothly.  I check it to make sure it\u2019s tight and tell myself I\u2019m imagining how shaky Riddick\u2019s breath just sounded.  Second cuff.  I test it, <i>not<\/i> giving into the urge to sniff <i>his<\/i> neck the way I\u2019ve seen him sniff the necks of the women he\u2019d pick up.  What\u2019s <i>up<\/i> with that?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now I\u2019m way too aware of his scent.  I don\u2019t think any other man in the history of <i>ever<\/i> has smelled so <i>male.<\/i>  It was a scent I thought I knew, when I was younger, and I thought I knew its meaning.  But it means something totally different <nobr>now\u2026<\/nobr> and smells so totally different.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I want to bathe in it.  What the hell is wrong with me?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOkay\u2026\u201d Jeez, how\u2019d my throat get so dry and crackly?  \u201cTime for the ankles.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick stays still.  I push the cuffs of his pant-legs up and start to fasten the cuffs around his work-boots until I remember the instructions. <i>For best security, we recommend removing the perp\u2019s shoes.<\/i>  Oh yeah, I need to do that first.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Why does it feel like I\u2019m undressing him?  I mean, undressing more than just his feet?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His breathing is slow and even now.  It\u2019s taking me too damn long to get these things off.  I keep fumbling with the laces until I get it right.  Socks?  I don\u2019t think they have to come off, but for some reason I\u2019m removing them.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick has large feet.  Well, every part of him is large, but so are his feet, and I\u2019m not sure why I\u2019m staring at them like I\u2019ve never seen them before.  His toes are long and elegant, I notice, like his fingers  \u2014 not <i>that<\/i> long but you know what I mean \u2014 and I\u2019m suddenly having the strangest urge to tickle his soles.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That\u2019d be a great way to end up being the one in these cuffs.  On with business.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I lock the cuffs around his ankles, making sure they\u2019re secure and pretending not to notice the way his breathing seems to have gone uneven again.  I\u2019m not going to think about that.  I\u2019m not going to think about that.  I\u2019m not going to think about that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can\u2019t think of anything else.  It\u2019s like that \u201cwhatever you do, don\u2019t think about elephants\u201d thing.  Never works.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLocked solid?\u201d he asks me.  It figures he\u2019d know exactly when I finished.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah.\u201d  I do one last test.  They feel tight to me.  I don\u2019t know <i>how<\/i> he\u2019s going to get out of them.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He sits back on his heels, bringing his hands down closer to his ankles.  Now the chain is slack, a little.  Supposedly, according to the manual, that doesn\u2019t give him any advantage.  It does, however, bring his shoulder into contact with mine.  I feel like a million volts just went through me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Deep breath.  Hold it.  Okay, safe to release it.  Now <i>I\u2019m<\/i> the one breathing shaky.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick turns his head a little, looking at me with heavy-lidded eyes.  Can he sense it?  That gaze is pinning me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThank you, Jack.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cY\u2014 you\u2019re welcome.\u201d Jeez.  Who put a frog down my windpipe?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Just look at that knowing smile on his face.  Man, he\u2019s got some ego.  What, does he think he\u2019s got me now, all weak-kneed and melty in the middle?  The <nobr>nerve\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Damn it, he\u2019s right.  I can\u2019t believe I\u2019m doing this.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He raises an eyebrow at me as I climb onto his lap.  \u201cJack?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I swallow.  For some reason, I can\u2019t tell him.  Not what I really want to.  Not yet.  I don\u2019t know why, but I can\u2019t.  \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Rick, I <nobr>just\u2026\u201d<\/nobr> Another swallow as I try to word this as innocuously as I can.  \u201cI\u2019m still kinda shook up from last night.  Could I sit here for a few minutes?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His expression makes it clear he\u2019s dubious about my claim.  Well, as long as he doesn\u2019t throw me out of his lap I\u2019m okay with it.  \u201cYeah, of course.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I curl around him, lowering my head onto his shoulder and putting my arms around his wide ribcage.  This is <nobr>nice\u2026<\/nobr> it really is.  Feeling the extraordinary power thrumming through <nobr>him\u2026<\/nobr> it\u2019s so comforting.  Solid muscle and bone beneath my <nobr>hands\u2026<\/nobr> and power.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I close my eyes and drift, trying not to remember specific things.  That night from a month ago seems to be conjuring itself up, reminding me of the way his hands felt on my skin, the way his mouth <nobr>tasted\u2026<\/nobr> the intense, filling, liquid joy of him sliding inside <nobr>me\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Whatever you do, don\u2019t think about elephants.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I can\u2019t just go back on what I said.  I can\u2019t.  Not on impulse.  But part of me wishes we hadn\u2019t gone through all the liquor, or that we\u2019d replaced it afterwards.  I want to let go.  Stop holding myself together, and for a little while, feel him holding me together instead.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He tilts his head a little, rubbing his chin against my upturned cheek.  The move sends shivers through me.  He knows.  He has to.  That felt so good, his bristles on my skin.  Should I ask him to do it again?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Don\u2019t think about it.  Don\u2019t think.  Stay still.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m going to do something stupid.  I don\u2019t know what.  But it\u2019ll be stupid and I\u2019ll end up regretting it and despising myself for having done it.  Things are so complicated.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I stay still and quiet, trying just to rest on him.  He shifts a little, stirring the butterflies inside me for a moment.  I wait as they careen around my belly and finally calm again.  If I don\u2019t find something innocuous to say, and fast, things are going to get very complicated.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo\u2026 uh\u2026 Rat.\u201d  <i>There<\/i> was a safe topic.  \u201cWhat do you think is holding him here?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo idea.  He\u2019s almost as secretive as we are.  I\u2019m guessing it\u2019s some kind of sentimental attachment.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cA boyfriend?\u201d  The thought makes me grin.  \u201cI don\u2019t know, man.  He seems to have the hots for <i>you.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m spoken for.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Just like that.  Hanging out there.  Shit.  What the hell do I say to that?  The silence is dragging out <nobr>now\u2026<\/nobr> I\u2019d better think of something.  Something other than <i>I\u2019m taking the chains off so you can take me over to the bed, right now.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I lift my head so I can meet his eyes.  Funny.  I was expecting something demanding in them.  But they\u2019re <nobr>just\u2026<\/nobr> kind of sad.  Looking at his eyes suddenly makes <i>my<\/i> eyes and nose sting, and I have to swallow.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He turns his head away for a moment and I take advantage of it to close my eyes and rest my cheek on his shoulder again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What am I going to do?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The chains jangle and clatter a little as Riddick shifts his weight.  I wonder how he\u2019s doing with them.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d I whisper.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI know.\u201d  His voice is gentle.  I can\u2019t tell what feelings he\u2019s hiding, from his voice, but I swear I can feel them. <nobr>Want\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>need\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u2026And shit.  An erection against my thigh.  I\u2019m such a fucking tease, cuddling on him like this.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019s stroking my hair, holding me close, making me feel warm and loved, and I\u2019m giving him nothing back.  Just taking strength from him, his physical presence, the gentleness of his <nobr>hands\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Hands?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh shit,\u201d I find myself laughing.  \u201cYou got out.  How long was that?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His low chuckle rumbles through my ribcage.  \u201cLet\u2019s <nobr>see\u2026<\/nobr> chrono says it took me forty-five minutes.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWait, that\u2019s how long I\u2019ve been sitting on you?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah.  Um\u2026 Jack\u2026\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I look up at him and his expression surprises me.  He looks both embarrassed, and like he\u2019s trying not to laugh.  \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou do know you didn\u2019t get dressed this morning, right?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh <i>shit.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019ve been sitting on Riddick, for the last forty-five minutes, in nothing but a robe.  <i>Straddling<\/i> his <nobr>lap\u2026<\/nobr> in <i>nothing but a robe!<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOhmygodRickIamsosorry\u2014\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His fingers rest on my lips.  \u201cIt\u2019s okay.  I <nobr>just\u2026<\/nobr> wasn\u2019t sure what you meant by it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He wants to know if I\u2019ve changed my mind.  Have I?  Is that why I\u2019m straddling him?  Oh my god.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I need to answer him.  I need to tell him what I mean.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I don\u2019t know what I mean.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He must have realized.  I probably look confused and scared.  I don\u2019t know.  But he presses his lips to my forehead, whispering.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His hands are on my waist and he\u2019s lifting me off of him.  Shit, I\u2019ve blown it completely, haven\u2019t I?  And my <i>God,<\/i> I didn\u2019t even notice that my bathrobe was practically hanging <i>open.<\/i>  Jeez.  For all intents and purposes he had a naked girl on his <nobr>lap\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Any other man would have used me.  On the spot.  Taken it as an invitation, a retraction of the things I said last month, and had me on the floor.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI am such a fucking <nobr>idiot\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo.  You\u2019re not.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I turn to look at him.  He\u2019s putting away the chains, still barefoot, his eyes on me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cA near-death experience like you had last <nobr>night\u2026<\/nobr> leaves a person kinda disoriented.  And turns on all of your drives in a <i>big<\/i> way once you realize you\u2019ve survived.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His words are registering and all, but holy shit, there\u2019s a stain on his pants leg.  From <i>me.<\/i>  I can\u2019t believe I did that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJack?\u201d  Bringing me back to reality.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo, uh, you\u2019re saying this <nobr>is\u2026<\/nobr> like, instinct?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick nods.  He follows my gaze and glances down at his pants.  \u201cDefinitely.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m so sorry.  I didn\u2019t <nobr>mean\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIt\u2019s okay, Jack.  It happens.  That was what I needed to know, before anything <i>more<\/i> happened.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nod, swallowing.  Part of me <i>wants<\/i> more to happen.  Part of me wants to drop the robe and lie back on the bed and feel his huge body covering <nobr>mine\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Stop that!<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI should get dressed.\u201d  I fiddle with the tie on my robe for a moment, still toying with the idea of just ripping the damn thing off and telling him that I take it all back, everything I said last month.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat\u2019s probably a good idea.\u201d  Dry humor there.  Shit, it <i>is<\/i> rough on him, having me like this.  I can\u2019t torment him anymore.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m gonna take a shower,\u201d I tell him, grabbing my towel and ducking into the bathroom.  As I close the door I hear a low, wry chuckle.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019ve got to get this shit together.  If I don\u2019t figure out what I want, and soon, things will go out of control, worse than they already have.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I turn on the water and climb into the stall, every nerve on my skin crackling.  It feels like the water hitting me should be raising sparks.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He could step in, behind <nobr>me\u2026<\/nobr> cover me with his hands, smooth the soap over my <nobr>skin\u2026<\/nobr> I\u2019m imagining that my hands are <nobr>his\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What the fuck is wrong with me?  Didn\u2019t I learn my lesson last month?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh, that was the <i>wrong<\/i> thing to think about.  Now it\u2019s his mouth I\u2019m imagining on my skin, his soft, warm, strong tongue sliding over me.  Oh shit.  I feel like I\u2019m losing my mind in here.  There\u2019s this empty, hollow void between my legs and I have to clap my hand over my mouth to keep from calling out to him.  I want to beg him to come in and fill me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I <i>knew<\/i> that night.  My God, I knew what was going to happen, and I wanted it to, I connived to help it happen.  I didn\u2019t realize, but I did.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019d gone out to get my birthday dinner, telling me he\u2019d arranged to have something special made.  Even though we were staying in, he\u2019d asked me to dress up, and he would, too.  \u201cAin\u2019t every day you turn eighteen.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And for the first time since I\u2019d played dress-up with Trey \u2014 okay, with the exception of the times I dressed up to be bait \u2014 I spent more than a few minutes getting ready.  I spent a whole freaking hour figuring out how to put my hair up in this one style I\u2019d seen on the fashion pages, and another half-hour getting my makeup just right.  And then I\u2019d stared into my closet, stymied, trying to pick out the perfect thing to wear.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d even had the perverse thought that nothing looked good so maybe I should just be in lingerie when he came back.  But I wasn\u2019t even sure, then, that he was even <i>interested.<\/i>  I visualized him taking one look at me in my skivvies and scolding <nobr>me\u2026<\/nobr> and went right back to hunting through the closet.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The silk dress brushed against my hand and I stared at it anew.  I hadn\u2019t worn or even wanted to look at it since the night in New New Orleans, but now I took it out of the closet for another, closer look.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d thought it was beautiful beyond all imagining when Riddick brought it home for me.  My first Grown-Up-Woman dress, was how I\u2019d thought of it.  Dark green \u2014 <i>\u201cbrings out those big eyes of yours,\u201d he\u2019d told me<\/i> \u2014 with a narrow bodice and a flaring skirt.  The neckline was scooped and the fabric fell in soft folds to accentuate my small bosom.  Damn, I\u2019d put it on and felt like the sexiest girl on any planet.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There was no sign of Renault\u2019s blood on it.  Not a speck.  I wondered how Riddick had managed to get it all out, or if he\u2019d actually replaced the dress.  In the intervening years, I\u2019d never asked.   But for whatever reason, he\u2019d kept the dress, even when I\u2019d tried to throw it away.  He <i>liked<\/i> it.  Tonight, I decided, I\u2019d wear it for him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The look in his eyes, when he came through the door and saw me in the dress, told me I\u2019d picked <i>just<\/i> the right thing to wear.  He carried the huge boxes of food over to our table, set them down, and turned around, just leaning against the edge of the table and looking me over.  And over and over.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cBeautiful,\u201d he finally murmured.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I felt like a princess in it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou like?\u201d  I walked over to the table, checking out the boxes.  Damn, he\u2019d come in loaded.  Most of them were big white food boxes \u2014 one definitely looked like it had a cake in it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHell yeah.\u201d  He began opening things up and taking food out.  All of my favorite foods began appearing.  Damn, the man didn\u2019t miss a trick.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I cleared away the empty boxes into the kitchen while he fooled around.  When I came back, a big pile of presents had appeared at the end of the table, and he was lighting candles.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWow.  You sure know how to make a girl feel cherished,\u201d I told him.  His smile in response left my stomach feeling <i>fluttery.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I knew even then, I think, that this wasn\u2019t exactly the kind of dinner an older brother arranged for his younger sister.  Hell, I wasn\u2019t dressed like Little Sister either.  Maybe there was some kind of unspoken knowledge, or accord, about what was coming. <\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The dinner was wonderful.  Riddick had stopped at at least three restaurants to put together my perfect meal.  I couldn\u2019t imagine what it had cost!<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThis is incredible.  How\u2019d you do all this?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI called ahead.\u201d  He grinned and winked.  \u201cFor an extra tip, they agreed to have it ready exactly when I was gonna pull up.  I was only two minutes late to one place, too.  Like clockwork.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Like one of his jobs.  He\u2019d gone all <i>Mission Impossible<\/i> on my birthday dinner.  \u201cDid you have to get shiv-happy on any of it?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJust the cole slaw.\u201d  He winked.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThere\u2019s <i>cole slaw?\u201d<\/i> I went on an eager hunt through the containers I hadn\u2019t opened yet until I found it, noting all the incredible goodies he\u2019d gotten along the way.  The cup of lobster bisque almost derailed me in another direction.  \u201cDamn, you know me <i>too<\/i> well!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDon\u2019t eat yourself sick, there.  Still got cake and presents to go.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThere\u2019s food in the <i>presents?\u201d<\/i>  My chocolate radar started sweeping the room.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Smug grin.  He knew he was a god today.  \u201cYou\u2019ll see.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Every year he did my birthday bigger and better.  When I turned thirty he\u2019d probably buy me a whole amusement planet for the day or something.  Funny how logical that seemed, and <nobr>seems\u2026<\/nobr> we\u2019ll be together, still, when I\u2019m thirty.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Part of me wanted to rush through the rest of the meal, but how do you rush through your absolute favorite foods?  I had to eat at least a little of <i>everything.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou are gonna have to work me <i>so<\/i> hard in training to keep this off my hips,\u201d I joked, as he put a huge slice of chocolate cake in front of me.  Eighteen candles  lay on the side of my plate, licked clean of chocolate frosting.  This was the richest and most delicious cake I\u2019d ever tasted in my life but I wasn\u2019t sure I\u2019d survive an entire piece.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWill do.  But I like your hips.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I grumbled.  Sometimes it seemed like they were awfully wide given how I was only a B cup.  Once I hadn\u2019t had to hide my femaleness, I\u2019d started wanting to be able to <i>flaunt<\/i> it, wishing I had a body like the actresses on the vids even if Riddick <i>did<\/i> mock their breasts as \u201cantigravity flotation devices.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI do,\u201d he repeated.  <nobr>\u201cNow\u2026<\/nobr> let\u2019s start off with one of your presents, <nobr>too\u2026<\/nobr> this kinda goes well with the food and the cake.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He put a long, rectangular box in front of me.  Once I got over the oblivious ecstasy of a bite of cake, I unwrapped it.  \u201cOh my <i>god,<\/i> this looks just like that mummy case <i>Paris<\/i> had!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah, it does.\u201d  Smug!  He was so <i>smug!<\/i>  \u201cOpen it up.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I lifted the lid, and my eyes widened in shock.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Back on the ship, after we\u2019d made our big getaway plan, we\u2019d gone to Paris\u2019s mummy case.  I\u2019d never seen so much booze stored in one place, in my life.  He\u2019d had at least thirty varieties of hooch in there, but it was all for burning, not drinking.  Riddick had caught me staring into the case, coveting it all, and had smirked at me.  \u201cWe\u2019ll drink a toast to our survival when we\u2019re on the skiff,\u201d he\u2019d told me.  It hadn\u2019t actually happened, of course.  When we finally got to the skiff, the booze bottles were filled with glowing bugs and anyway, <i>Imam<\/i> was with us.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now I had my own little mummy case full of miniature hooch bottles.  I lifted one out.  Was \u201chpnotiq\u201d really a word?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWow!  Is this all for me?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou ain\u2019t gonna share with me?\u201d He tossed back, grinning.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell, yeah, of course, but <i>wow!<\/i>  Hey, is this legal?\u201d  Riddick had never let me drink before, although I\u2019d managed to sneak a few glasses here and there from unwary bartenders.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDrinking age is eighteen here.\u201d  He nodded and winked.  \u201cAnyway, I promised you we\u2019d toast our survival, didn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou did, but that was so long <nobr>ago\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou thought I forgot?\u201d  He winked again, and pulled out a small bottle that said <i>Grey Goose<\/i> on it.  \u201cA toast.  To our survival.  Together, we made it through your adolescence <nobr>intact\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cHey!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The smirk on his lips was threatening to explode into laughter. \u201cAnd we didn\u2019t kill each other even once.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wrestled the cap off my little bottle, trying hard not to laugh. \u201cWe could make up for that tonight, you know.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cCould be.\u201d  <i>His<\/i> cap came off easily.  Dork.  I bet he\u2019d tightened the cap on the bottle he knew I\u2019d pick first.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We clinked our little bottles together, still trying not to descend into a laughing fit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cTo our survival,\u201d I told him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cTo us,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">We drank.  Three or four swallows and my little bottle was empty.  Oooh, that was good stuff!  I had another bite of cake while I picked up the other bottles, one at a time, reading the labels.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShit, I recognize some of these.  They\u2019re in that locked aisle.  Expensive!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He chuckled. \u201cYeah, well, I was going all out so why not?  You\u2019ll share with me, right?\u201d  A wink.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAbsolutely.  Which one do you wanna try?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He reached over and lifted out a small, round bottle full of deep amber liquid.  \u201cHow about this?  Can\u2019t pronounce the name for <nobr>shit\u2026<\/nobr> they make it on New Catalonia.  It\u2019s amazing.  C\u2019mere.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I climbed out of my chair and walked over to his.  Whee, that hpnotiq stuff already had me feeling floaty and free.  I sat down on his knee and grinned at him as he unscrewed the lid.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cClose your eyes.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I obeyed, and felt him put the tiny bottleneck to my lips.  Sweet, tangy warmth poured into my mouth, so intense I wanted to wince, so delicious I wanted to grab the whole bottle and suck it down.  I cradled the last of the liquid on my tongue for a moment, savoring it, before I swallowed.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh wow.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSee why that\u2019s worth four hundred creds a bottle?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My eyes flew open!  \u201cThat bottle was <i>four hundred creds?\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNah, but the full-sized ones are.\u201d  He chuckled and put his arm around me as he took a swig of the last little bit and set the empty bottle down.  \u201cThese\u2019ll be nice additions to your bottle collection too, you know.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah, they\u2019re pretty.\u201d  I rested my head on his shoulder, contemplating them.  I\u2019d been collecting glass bottles for the last two years, since things finally started stabilizing enough that I\u2019d stopped worrying we\u2019d have to run out on our things.  I loved the collection.  My favorite bottles were the little blue ones.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo\u2026 happy birthday so far?\u201d  His hand petted my hair as he asked.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThe best,\u201d I grinned up at him.  \u201cBut I swear, the way I\u2019ve eaten tonight, my ass is going to be <i>huge!<\/i>\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His grin was a <nobr>bit\u2026<\/nobr> loopy.  Like he was getting tipsy on me.  He hardly ever drank, and usually not liquor, just beer or wine.  Liquor was stronger, wasn\u2019t it?  \u201cTell you a little secret,\u201d he said as he reached for another pair of little bottles.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI love secrets.\u201d  This one\u2019s cap twisted off easily, and we clinked our bottles together and drank.  WHEW!<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick grimaced as he set his bottle down and then grinned at me.  \u201cYou, <nobr>Jack\u2026<\/nobr> have the best ass in the galaxy.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now I no longer had the control to keep startled laughter from exploding out.  \u201cI what?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m serious.  Your ass is <nobr>just\u2026<\/nobr> <i>damn.<\/i>  I\u2019m surprised you fooled anybody with your boy masquerade.  All they\u2019d have had to do was stand behind you even once and they\u2019d have realized.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I was blushing.  And feeling delight pool in me.  Warm within and without.  I wanted to hear more.  \u201cOh, is <i>that<\/i> how you figured out I was a girl?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cUh huh.  I smelled you before I ever saw you, though, so I knew there was a third female <i>somewhere<\/i> in the group.  Wasn\u2019t sure who it was at first until I saw you climbing around the crash ship.  There was <i>no<\/i> mistaking that ass.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSheeit!  It\u2019s a good thing I teamed up with you or I\u2019d\u2019ve been outed in <i>no<\/i> time.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah, you woulda.  With those big eyes of yours and that <i>killer<\/i> <nobr>ass\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  Riddick blinked.  \u201cShit, I think I\u2019m drunk or something.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I giggled.  I\u2019d never seen Riddick drunk.  But then, I\u2019d never seen him go <nobr>through\u2026<\/nobr> how many bottles?  I coulda sworn we\u2019d only drunk a few but <i>look<\/i> at those empties.  \u201cMe <nobr>too\u2026<\/nobr> I think we need some cake or something to fight <nobr>it\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMight work,\u201d he agreed, reaching forward to pull his piece towards the two of us.  \u201cI gotta watch my mouth now.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHow come?  Can I watch it for you?\u201d  Whoa, where did <i>that<\/i> come from?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He turned to look at me, blinking, and a slow grin crept over his lips.  \u201c\u2018Cause if I don\u2019t I\u2019m gonna end up telling you how much I want to <i>grab<\/i> your ass sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I found myself laughing.  \u201cSo what\u2019s stopping you?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His hand was on my back, and it began to move lower.  \u201cIt\u2019s a bad idea.  Could have repercussions.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLike what?  Squeezing?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMaybe\u2026\u201d  As his hand moved lower still, his eyes locked with mine. \u201cYou got any idea how beautiful you are?  \u2018Specially in this <nobr>dress\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  His voice had gone wistful on me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His hand gently cupped around my backside and I felt something amazing move through me.  It was like I was on one of those great big rollercoasters and suddenly we\u2019d hit a drop.  I gasped.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou think\u2026 I\u2019m beautiful?\u201d  The faces of dozens of the women he\u2019d been with, in the last few years, floated through my mind\u2019s eye.  Did he think I was in their class?  Really?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He nodded.  His face was moving closer to mine.  \u201cMost beautiful girl ever,\u201d he slurred.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Hunger like I\u2019d never felt filled me.  Hadn\u2019t I just eaten?  I couldn\u2019t possibly want more <nobr>food\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His mouth touched mine and I knew exactly what I was hungry for.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJack?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My eyes fly open.  I\u2019ve been leaning back against the shower stall\u2019s wall, touching myself, remembering.  It takes me a moment to get my voice to work as something other than a shrill squeak.  \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThis gonna be one of your marathons, you mind if I take a quick leak?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cUm, sure\u2026\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I stay still in the shower, trying to control my breathing, while he uses the toilet.  I have to stay silent.  I don\u2019t dare say a thing.  If I do, the next words out of my mouth will be an invitation for him to join me in here.  And then history will repeat itself.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And even though I know exactly how bad an idea <i>that<\/i> would <nobr>be\u2026<\/nobr> there\u2019s nothing I want more.<\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4013\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4013 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-14\">\u00ab Chapter 14<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4079\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4079 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-16\">Chapter 16 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"16\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4014\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4014 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-15\">\u00ab Chapter 15<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4080\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4080 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-17\">Chapter 17 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1922\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1922 \">  <h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>16.<br\/><u>Majority<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I stay as quiet as I can while Riddick\u2019s in the bathroom, the tip of my tongue caught between my teeth so it can\u2019t try to initiate a new adventure.  He isn\u2019t in the room long.  I wonder if he can sense how <i>wound<\/i> I am.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The door closes and I sink down to sit on the shower stall floor.  <i>God,<\/i> the temptation to invite him in was strong.  I wouldn\u2019t have lasted much longer.  Especially not with the memory of the way his mouth tasted still coursing through me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Shit, I want him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That kiss\u2026 <\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It was hardly our first kiss.  For years, since he\u2019d started fending other men away from me, we\u2019d pretended that we were involved.  When needed, we\u2019d deliberately engaged in crass public displays of affection to make our supposed relationship crystal-clear.  But that had always been <i>theater.<\/i>  Simulated clinches, choreographed kisses.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">This was the first <i>real<\/i> kiss we\u2019d ever shared.  Really, it was the first real kiss I\u2019d ever <i>had.<\/i>  His lips on mine seemed to annihilate my whole past.  For a while I wasn\u2019t even sure who I was.  It was like I was a virgin all over again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His mouth was strong and gentle, sweet with the flavor of the liquors we\u2019d been drinking, and every bit as hungry as <i>I<\/i> felt.  It was like we were trying to drown in each other.  His hands were clutching at me but I could feel how he was holding back his full strength.  One of his hands slid from my shoulder to the back of my neck.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Finally we pulled back, both of us gasping.  He looked nervous as he gazed at me, as if he thought I\u2019d slap him or something.  I\u2019d never seen this side of Riddick before, shy and almost vulnerable.  Maybe it was just the alcohol, making me imagine it.  What could he possibly have to be afraid of from me?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His fingertips brushed my cheek.  <nobr>\u201cJack\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My heart was hammering.  Hunger like I\u2019d never felt was <i>filling<\/i> my body.  I\u2019d felt hints of it before, from time to time, but nothing this intense.  \u201cYeah?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I felt like my skin was igniting everywhere his fingers touched.  He leaned towards me, pressing his forehead to mine.  I gasped, breathing him in while his fingers stroked my cheeks and throat.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIs this what you want?\u201d  He was turning his head, nuzzling my temple and cheek, sending shivers through me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cGod,<\/i> yeah\u2026\u201d  It felt like I should say something else, something more.  Then his mouth found my ear.  Suddenly speech was out of the question.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My whole body arched and shivered; I felt like I might explode.  All of my attention was focused on the tip of his tongue as it played over my ear.  I felt half ticklish, half something else unfathomable.  His tongue was driving squeaks out of me and I couldn\u2019t sit still on his lap.  Something was building inside me, running the length of my spine like an electric current and pooling between my legs.  I didn\u2019t understand it.  Half of me wanted to cling tightly to Riddick and the other half wanted to pull away.  His arms were iron around me, holding me close, making the decision.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Something wild was happening between my legs, a new, strange feeling I\u2019d never experienced.  Kind of like a tiny, weird little <nobr>tickle\u2026<\/nobr> or <nobr>trickle\u2026<\/nobr> or something.  What was <nobr>that\u2026?<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh shit, Rick\u2026\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He drew back.  \u201cDid I hurt you?\u201d  His eyes were searching my face, but I wasn\u2019t sure what for.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo, I\u2026 I\u2019m not <nobr>sure\u2026<\/nobr> that was just <nobr>so\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cIntense?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah.\u201d  Good word.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">A hint of a smile was creeping over his mouth.  \u201cDid you like it?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I swallowed.  Did I?  Apparently so because I was nodding.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s smile was out in the open now.  It was both predatory <nobr>and\u2026<\/nobr> <i>goofy.<\/i>  I suddenly realized that he was right.  We were drunk.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou want more?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cPlease!\u201d  Now suddenly I was giggling.  \u201cLots more!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI was hoping you\u2019d say that.\u201d  He tilted me back and I grabbed onto his shoulder as my head began to spin.  Then his mouth was on my throat.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOooh boy\u2026\u201d This felt so amazing, too.  How did he do this?  I didn\u2019t know my throat was so sensitive.  His tongue was startling more giggles out of me.  After a moment he began to laugh too, his teeth nipping at my skin.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou got a problem with this?\u201d  His voice was sly and amused.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201c\u2026Just\u2026tickles\u2026\u201d  I kept having to wriggle in his grasp from the onslaught of feeling.  Phantom fingers were scurrying along my spine.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat\u2019s the <i>idea.\u201d<\/i>  His mouth fastened for a moment on my shoulder in a gentle bite.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI can\u2019t figure out if you\u2019re planning to tickle me, fuck me, or eat me,\u201d I giggled.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMaybe all of the above,\u201d Riddick purred.  He leaned me further back.  My belly seemed to lurch within me as I felt his tongue running along the neckline of my dress.  The intense hungry ache was back between my <nobr>legs\u2026<\/nobr> and that other feeling I didn\u2019t understand.  What was causing that?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh my god\u2026\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMaybe we should get you out of this dress,\u201d he murmured into my cleavage.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">This was probably the only chance the dress had of coming off without being torn to shreds, I realized.  \u201cProbably a good idea.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick lifted his head and drew me up.  Turning me around on his lap, he bent me forward.  I tried to stay still as his fingers drew down the dress\u2019s zipper and caressed my skin.  My spine wanted to arch as his touch stirred frissons along it.  A gasp escaped me when his tongue took the place of his fingertips, and I couldn\u2019t stop a moan from following when his teeth gently scraped my skin.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There was that strange feeling again, that trickle-tickle.  What was it?  I didn\u2019t understand what it meant.  His hand was on my knee, slowly moving upward along my inner thigh, pushing my skirt higher and higher.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI don\u2019t think you\u2019re gonna get in there with me folded in half.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Behind me, Riddick shook.  The wind of his silent laughter played along my back and made me shiver.  \u201cMaybe we should move this to the bed,\u201d he said after a moment.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I swallowed hard and nodded.  \u201cYeah, that sounds like a plan to me.\u201d  Reaching over to the table, I grabbed up a small handful of bottles.  I might need a little liquid courage for this.  Riddick pushed back his chair and rose, holding me against him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He held me close to him, my bare back pressed to his chest, as we staggered from the dining area to the bed.  I clung to Riddick, feeling dizzy as we swayed closer and closer to the mattress.  One of his hands was on my stomach and the other had moved to cup my breast through the loose dress.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWe\u2019re almost there,\u201d he murmured into my still-electrified ear.  All I could do was moan.  If I\u2019d been walking on my own I\u2019d have fallen over.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">There.  We\u2019d made it in time.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I dropped to my hands and knees on the mattress, gasping.  He was on top of me, his body spooning around mine, the guttural sound of his breath in my ear sending shivers through me again even as the heat of his skin on mine seemed to scorch me.  His hand left my stomach to slap the mattress, his arm straining to hold his weight up before he might crush me down.  I could feel his erection pressing against me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That was going to be inside me, soon.  I knew it was, and the mere thought of that sent another wild jolt through me.  I <i>wanted<\/i> this.  I\u2019d never known it was something you <i>could<\/i> want, before.  I\u2019d always known guys had a real thing for it, but for the first time it occurred to me that maybe it was fun for <nobr>women\u2026<\/nobr> that maybe it\u2019d be fun for <i>me.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou okay there?\u201d he asked, his mouth near my ear again.  Another shiver moved through me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2026 am fantastic.\u201d  I had no idea exactly what I wanted to do, but my body was alight.  I shoved the small handful of bottles to the side and began working the sleeves of my dress down my arms.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHere, let me do that.\u201d  He was nuzzling my back again, making me squeak and wriggle.  I couldn\u2019t think straight.  How was he going to get my dress off in this position?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHow?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He rose to his knees and put his large hand flat on the center of my back, pushing me down onto my stomach on the mattress.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHey, you know, you coulda <nobr>said\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He chuckled, knowing I wasn\u2019t really mad.  \u201cRoll over.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">With him straddling me, it took me a little extra work to get turned over.  My skirt ended up twisted around my hips in the process.  \u201cThat better?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMuch.\u201d  He was grinning down at me, and I swore, he was swaying!  Just how many of those bottles had he downed?  He began drawing my sleeves down my arms while I sat up a little and held them up to make it easier for him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLook at you,\u201d he breathed, as he drew the dress down to my waist.  I was braless beneath it, naked from the waist up.  \u201cSo beautiful.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His expression softened as he looked at me, his eyes glued to my breasts.  It was funny; he\u2019d seen them before, many times.  But here he was acting like <i>he<\/i> was a virgin too, and this was the first time he\u2019d <i>ever<\/i> seen breasts at <i>all.<\/i>  He tilted his head a little and his eyes met mine, <nobr>asking\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Asking for permission.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My throat was suddenly much too dry to speak so I just nodded, swallowing.  He put his hand on my chest, gently pushing me backward.  I leaned back, resting on the mattress and watching him as he climbed over me and lowered his head.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The wet warmth of his mouth fastened around my left nipple and I gasped as a jolt of pleasure ran along my body again.  That was new.  Everything was so <i>new.<\/i>  The feel of his teeth grazing my skin was incredible.  I arched my back, trying to somehow get him even closer to me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYesssssss\u2026\u201d  Was that me?  Did I really say that?  It barely sounded like my voice!<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick answered with a growl, his mouth growing more demanding.  His hands slid beneath my back, lifting me even closer to him.  Somehow he\u2019d ended up kneeling between my legs.  I wasn\u2019t quite sure how or when that had happened.  Hadn\u2019t he been straddling me?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">As his teeth grazed my nipple I felt <i>it<\/i> again, that weird trickle-tickle.  I wished I knew what was causing it.  Not that it felt bad or anything.  It felt <i>good.<\/i>  But it was an unfamiliar sensation, and in such a sensitive place.  Was it normal?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His hand began to stroke my other breast, massaging it and squeezing it gently.  I\u2019d had no idea that my breasts could feel so much.  They never had before, and I could have sworn I\u2019d done it all.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He was kissing his way down my abdomen now, I realized.  My nipple felt deliciously cool where his mouth had been. His hands were on the scrunched fabric of my dress, tugging it downward past my hips, and he was straddling me again.  I lifted myself upward a little, to help, and felt him pull the dress off of my legs even as his tongue darted into my belly button and made me squeal.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Hot damn, he was kissing his way lower, his hands repositioning my legs so he was between them again.  Oooh, <nobr>boy\u2026<\/nobr> he had his <i>face<\/i> <nobr>there\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">As he nuzzled my panties I realized, at last, what that trickly feeling was.  Something slick, warm and wet had settled between my flesh and the fabric.  Fluid.  A <i>lot<\/i> of fluid.  Had <i>I<\/i> made it?  <i><nobr>Weird\u2026<\/nobr><\/i>  I didn\u2019t think <i>that<\/i> had ever happened before.  I wondered if it was normal and hoped it wouldn\u2019t put Riddick off.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His low growl sent shocks of sensation through me and I felt his teeth catch at the fabric.  He began to pull my panties off with his mouth, his expression almost savage.  When he noticed me watching, it softened again.  His hands slid under me, lifting my hips off of the mattress while his fingers pushed the elastic down.  Another shiver moved through me as my panties finally slid down my thighs.  Now I was naked.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Why did this feel so different from all the other times he\u2019d seen me?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">As he finished pulling off my panties, he bent my legs, spreading them wide.  \u201cHold still.\u201d  Hot breath blew against me and <nobr>then\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh my god!\u201d  I lifted my head, trying to see what was happening.  He was <i>licking<\/i> <nobr>me\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>and\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Bolts of pleasure unlike anything I\u2019d ever felt started flying up my spine in time with his tongue.  My body was writhing, held in place only by his hands on my hips.  It was so intense, it was too <nobr>much\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cRick\u2026\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He stopped, to my relief.  I caught my breath, my hand on my throat, as he lifted his head and looked at me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou okay?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I nodded.  \u201cYeah, but aren\u2019t we going <nobr>to\u2026<\/nobr> you know?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou don\u2019t want me to keep doing that?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d explode if he started it up again.  \u201cMaybe later?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He looked a little disappointed for a moment, but then that grin of his appeared again.  \u201cSo I guess we\u2019d better get <i>my<\/i> clothes off now?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Ooooooh!  \u201cYeah!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He smirked, and began untucking his shirt.  Before I realized it, I was belting out the tune from one of those Ancient West bordellos, like he was Mae West or something.  His shout of laughter was muffled by his shirt as he pulled it over his head.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Damn, all of that was <i><nobr>mine\u2026<\/nobr><\/i>  The tune faltered for a moment but then I started belting it out again.  He was still laughing, twitching his hips in time with my crazy tune as he took off his belt.  For a moment he climbed to his feet, looming high above me as he stepped out of his pants and tossed them aside, and then he was kneeling before me <nobr>again\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Magnificent.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAnd just look at the size of your dick!\u201d The words popped out of my mouth before I could stop them and made him throw his head back with another shout of laughter.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But <i>seriously,<\/i> I was transfixed!<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d seen it before, lots of times, but never standing at attention like this.  If I\u2019d thought it was large before, it was amazing now.  Veins I\u2019d never noticed before were distended, ridging it.  Before I thought to ask, or anything, I\u2019d wrapped my hand around it.  I wanted to know how it felt.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It was warm, rock-hard, and silky.  As I stroked it, Riddick groaned and covered my hand with his.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat feels so <nobr>good\u2026<\/nobr> but I wanna be in you.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I looked up at him, meeting his eyes.  That look was back, asking my permission.  I nodded, feeling my heart lurch in excitement.  Soon he\u2019d be <i>in<\/i> me.  We\u2019d be <i>joined.<\/i>  I couldn\u2019t believe this was the same act I remembered from my \u201cGood Girl\u201d days.  It felt so different, more important somehow.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He drew my hands upwards, over the rippling muscles of his abdomen, onto his chest, and then his shoulders.  Slowly, his eyes never leaving mine, he lowered himself down until he was hanging above me on hands and knees.  He lifted one hand and slid it down my body, his fingers startling and parting my most intimate flesh, and <nobr>then\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Damn, he was <nobr>big\u2026<\/nobr> he was rubbing the head of his erection against me, and it felt so good.  Then he stilled for a moment, bit his lip, and began to lean forward.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">This was it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I could feel him, now, pressing into me.  It <i>was<\/i> different.  Always, in the past, it had burned a little, and I\u2019d assumed it would with him, too, because I\u2019d <i>never<\/i> been with a man as big as him.  But he was entering me like liquid silk, no pain, no <nobr>discomfort\u2026<\/nobr> something amazing instead.  There was this intensely pleasurable tug, as though he was pulling me inside myself.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou okay?\u201d  His hand stroked my cheek again as he locked eyes with me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Was he worried about hurting me?  It was suddenly so obvious to me that our bodies had been made for each other, made to join like this.  There was no other explanation.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYeah\u2026\u201d  I strained upward and he understood me, lowering his head so we could kiss again.  As our mouths clasped, I felt him slide even deeper inside me.  A bolt of intense pleasure, almost too much to bear, fired along my nerves from deep in my belly.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">After a moment he lifted his head, gazing down at me.  The silver of his eyes flashed with the candlelight as his body began to slowly move.  I felt him pulling back and it amazed me again that I could feel every inch of him so <i>vividly<\/i> and pleasurably.  Nothing had ever felt like this.  I\u2019d had no idea.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou\u2019re smiling,\u201d he told me, a wide grin on his own face as he slid deep into me again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I was, and was feeling almost giggly, but suddenly I felt shy.  \u201cShould I stop?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo way, keep smiling, <nobr>just\u2026\u201d<\/nobr> He began to pull out again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I couldn\u2019t possibly have <i>stopped<\/i> smiling.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201c\u2026like\u2026\u201d  He was almost completely out of me again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I waited, watching him.  He stayed still, poised above me, grinning down at me with mischief on his face.  His eyes blinked shut slowly and reopened.  Yeah, drunk.  When he still didn\u2019t move, I raised an eyebrow at him.  What was he waiting for?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201c\u2026<i>that!\u201d<\/i>  He slid deep into me, <i>fast,<\/i> startling a loud cry out of me even before I felt its cause.  My nerve endings shivered with the impact, starting deep in my belly and moving out to my fingertips, toes, and prickling scalp.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHoly <i>shit!\u201d<\/i> I managed when I could breathe again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cToo much?\u201d  Was that worry in his voice?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNo way\u2026 that was\u2026 wow!\u201d  I knew there were bigger words than <i>wow<\/i> to describe it but damned if every word above one syllable hadn\u2019t been knocked out of my head with that thrust!<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick chuckled and lifted his hand to my face, stroking my hair back.  \u201cThink you\u2019ll be okay if I keep doing that?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI think you <i>won\u2019t<\/i> be okay if you <i>stop!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHey, was that a threat?\u201d he demanded, laughing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cDamn right it was!  I want <i>more<\/i> of this!\u201d  I turned my head and spotted a little bottle of amber liquid right by me.  \u201cAnd some more of <nobr>this\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cGimme one, too.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYes, <i>sir,<\/i> you just keep doing what you\u2019re doing, <nobr>there\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  It took a little work to get his bottle open because my hands kept going weak on me with his thrusts, but finally I was able to hand it to him and start struggling with mine.  He waited for me, holding his bottle as still as he could, until I opened mine up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cCheers, baby.\u201d  He clinked his little bottle against mine and I felt a few drops of coolness spatter my chest.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I lifted my head and tried to bring the bottle to my lips.  Sweet fire poured into my mouth even as coldness dribbled down my chin onto my throat.  I swallowed before the laughter trying to get out could make me choke.  \u201cOh <nobr>man\u2026<\/nobr> I think I just lost half of it!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick\u2019s laugh was low.  \u201cWell, it\u2019s mine now.\u201d  He lowered his head to my throat and began sipping up the <nobr>spilled\u2026<\/nobr> what?  What was it I\u2019d spilled?  I couldn\u2019t read the writing on the little bottle in the dim, flickering candlelight.  Screw it, more important stuff was happening.  What Riddick was doing felt <i>wonderful.<\/i>  I dropped the bottle and stopped worrying about it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">As Riddick\u2019s tongue ran over my chest, I closed my eyes.  I wanted to focus just on his movement, his touches, the sweet liquid feelings inside me that were getting stronger and stronger.  His lips were moving up my throat again, the kisses in perfect time with his thrusts, reaching my chin and then claiming my lips.  The liquor on his lips tasted different from what I\u2019d drunk.  Funny, I could have sworn I picked two identical bottles.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He deepened the kiss, picking up the pace of his thrusts at the same time, one of his hands moving down my body to touch me between my legs.  My hands were tingling.  I felt so strange, suddenly, like his body pinning me down was the only thing that kept me from floating up off of the bed.  What was this?  What was happening to me?  I couldn\u2019t think clearly.  It was all too intense.  If it didn\u2019t stop I was going to lose <nobr>consciousness\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It wasn\u2019t stopping.  It was getting even stronger.  I\u2019d lost control of my voice, I wasn\u2019t sure when exactly, but cries were exploding out of me in time with Riddick\u2019s thrusts and I couldn\u2019t stop them.  I could barely hear what he was saying to me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cThat\u2019s it, Jack\u2026 I got <nobr>you\u2026<\/nobr> that\u2019s <nobr>it\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Was this <i>right?<\/i>  Was this the way I was supposed to feel?  He couldn\u2019t be right; this had to be fatal.  Nobody could survive this onslaught of feeling.  Spots were swimming before my eyes and my whole body was writhing, at war with itself.  I was trying to get closer to him and get away, all at once.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My head was buzzing and my body was completely out of control now.  I couldn\u2019t fight it anymore, falling down into the roaring maelstrom that was sweeping over me.  Fragments of thought tried to form but couldn\u2019t.  Just one word.  <i>Home.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Home\u2026<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I was gulping for air, the sensations that had made me thrash abating.  Riddick\u2019s pace had increased but the thrusts were no longer trying to knock me into orbit.  I needed to figure out what had happened to me.  My limbs were tingling and felt weightless.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Was <i>that<\/i> coming?  Was that what everybody made the huge fuss over?  If it was, I was surprised more people weren\u2019t <i>scared<\/i> of ever having sex again afterward, because by <nobr>God\u2014<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick began to shudder against me, his face twisting in what looked almost like agony.  Now <i>he<\/i> was coming, I realized, and I slid my arms back around him.  As confusing as everything else was, this part I understood well.  His mouth brushed my ear and he gasped even as his whole body went still within me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLove\u2026 you\u2026 Jillian\u2026\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I felt like my heart had stopped and shattered in my chest.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>No, oh <b>God<\/b> no\u2026<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I managed to keep it off my face.  He shuddered against me again, holding me close, and by the time he had regained his senses, I was recovered too.  There was no sign on my face of the cold running through my veins and the hollow ache in my chest.  I smiled up at him and returned his gentle, reverent kiss.  I wanted to bury my face against his chest and <nobr>cry\u2026<\/nobr> but that would spoil the mood for him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Why?<\/i>  Why did he have to call me that?  Of all names he could have said, why <i>that<\/i> one?  Even now it makes me want to cry, thinking about it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I turn my face up to the cooling water, rinsing away the tears that started in my eyes with that memory.  Turning off the shower, I take a few deep breaths.  It\u2019s a month later but the pain of that moment is still with me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Why?<\/i>  Of all the things he could have called me, names that could have slipped out, why did it have to be <i>that<\/i> one?  The question won\u2019t leave me alone as I dry off and get dressed.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Damn, what if I\u2019d given into my impulses, earlier, and he\u2019d called me that again?  Shit.  This is all too complicated.  Painfully complicated.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019s sitting on the bed as I come out of the bathroom, reading a security manual, looking relaxed and at peace.  His smile as he glances up at me reflects none of <i>my<\/i> inner turmoil.  I wonder again if he even realizes how much he hurt me that night.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Of all the names you could have whispered, it had to be that one.<\/i>  It still hurts.  It hurts like hell.  But I can\u2019t let him see that now, any more than I could let him see it then.  We\u2019re supposed to have moved past that moment, and here I am hanging onto it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">So what happens if I can\u2019t let go of it?  Or if I do, and he calls me that again?  Of all the <nobr>names\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>You just had to call me Jillian.<\/i><\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4014\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4014 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-15\">\u00ab Chapter 15<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4080\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4080 \"><p style=\"text-align: right; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-17\">Chapter 17 \u00bb<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"su-tabs-pane su-u-clearfix su-u-trim\" data-title=\"17\">\r\n<div style=\"margin-bottom:20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4015\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4015 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-16\">\u00ab Chapter 16<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4127\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4127 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\">&nbsp;<\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<span data-post-id=\"1925\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-1925 \">  <h2 style=\"text-align: center; margin-bottom: 20px;\"><b>17.<br\/><u>Her<\/u><\/b><\/h2>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I really don\u2019t think he knows what he did.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well, he definitely has no idea at the moment.  He\u2019s relaxing on the bed with a technical manual, and Richard B. Riddick is <i>not<\/i> a man for dwelling in the past.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wonder if he knows what I\u2019m thinking about.  What I was thinking about in the bathroom.  Sometimes I think he <i>can<\/i> read my mind, which is why it\u2019s so weird that he doesn\u2019t get the whole Jillian thing.  You\u2019d think it\u2019d be the sort of thing he understood instinctively.  Then again, I\u2019m not entirely sure he remembers saying it.  People do and say some pretty whacked-out things when they\u2019re coming; I used to think I\u2019d seen and heard it all.  So maybe he didn\u2019t realize he was saying that name by mistake.  Technically, he was still talking about me, even if that just makes it worse.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019ve known, since I turned fourteen, that he knew exactly who I really was and where I really came from.  No idea how he found out, but I did know that he knew.  I just figured that meant he <i>understood<\/i> better.  That name is a distillation of everything I came to hate in my life, and for him to say it right at that particular <nobr>moment\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He couldn\u2019t have known, could he?  But <i>shouldn\u2019t<\/i> he have known?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Even thinking about it ties me up in knots.  Right after he said it, I wanted to die.  I wished the bed would just swallow me up so I could cease to exist.  Instead, though, I lay there and we held each other and I <nobr>just\u2026<\/nobr> tried not to think or feel.  All the alcohol helped, I think.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The next morning I woke up unsure where or who I was.  I thought, for a moment, that I was back in Gary\u2019s place.  The smell of booze and sex in my nose, and the feel of naked skin against mine, were things I\u2019d once woken to on a regular basis.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">In that moment, I was <i>her<\/i> again.  I was Jillian.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And I never wanted to have to be her again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019m not going to say that Jillian is dead, or that she was weak, or any cheap melodramatic bullshit like that.  It\u2019d <i>be<\/i> bullshit, for one thing.  Jillian Beatrice Goodwin is alive and well, and sometimes she\u2019s so strong it scares me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My mom didn\u2019t pick the name out.  If it had been up to her, I\u2019d have had some name she thought was <i>exotic,<\/i> but my grandparents picked it.  That was back when they were trying to raise me for her so she could have a normal adolescence, as if Justine Bernadette Goodwin was capable of having a normal <i>anything.<\/i>  That name is the only thing I have left of my grandparents, but I still hate it after everything it came to mean.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I was Jill when Sister Justine wasn\u2019t paying much attention to me.  I was Jilly on the very rare occasions when she liked me.  \u201cJillian\u201d meant I was in some kind of trouble, and my <i>full<\/i> name meant it was too late to duck-and-cover.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">When she threw me out and Gary took me in, I was Jill to him.  In fact, he shortened my whole name for those videos he was making.  There are dozens of different illicit porno vids floating around with \u201cStarring Jill B. Good\u201d on their credits.  A lot of them have titles punning on that name, and my other, related trade name: \u201cthe Good Girl.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">When the cops finally shut him down and took me from him, Social Services called me <nobr>Jillian\u2026<\/nobr> and so did Luke when he and Sister Justine took me from <i>them.<\/i>  But late at night, when Luke came to my bed, he would call me \u201cpretty little Jilly\u201d while I tried to be <i>his<\/i> idea of a Good Girl and yearned for my old cushion of drugs and alcohol.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">So when I finally took off, it was a name I never wanted to hear again.  Ever, in <i>any<\/i> of its variations.  And when I hit on the idea of passing myself off as a boy, I knew exactly what name I needed.  Jill B. Good became Jack B. Badd and stayed that way, even after Riddick exposed my secret.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">So like I said, I knew that he\u2019d found out my real name long ago, since he\u2019d figured out my birthdate and tracked down my back-trail, but I thought he <i>understood<\/i> why I didn\u2019t use the name, why I hated <nobr>it\u2026<\/nobr> and why it kind of scares me.  Luke used to preach on the power of names, to all of us in his twisted halfway house, and how saying the Devil\u2019s name could call him to you.  Jillian is <i>my<\/i> devil, and I often worry that somehow she\u2019ll be invoked.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">So waking up to find her world all around me again, and Riddick in it with me, was definitely not a shining moment.  The \u201charsh light of day\u201d struck me as painfully as if <i>my<\/i> eyes were shined.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick was still partway on top of me, nuzzling my throat.  That was what woke me up, in fact.  He was ready for another round, or <i>getting<\/i> ready, and I couldn\u2019t figure out who the hell I was, but the Jillian in me was getting ready too.  He\u2019d invoked her, and there she was, numbly preparing for his body to invade hers \u2013 ours \u2013 again.  Only I wasn\u2019t ready.  I was still confused, trying to piece together what had happened the night before.  The dinner, the drinks, the incredible cascade of fire he\u2019d awakened in my <nobr>nerves\u2026<\/nobr> it was slowly coming back to me.  And that word, that horrible word.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">So I pulled away.  He looked groggy and confused as I dragged myself out from under him and headed for the shower.  My head began to pound as I stood under the water, trying to wash the scent of Jillian and her world back off of me.  I hadn\u2019t been that hung over in years.  Hell, I\u2019d maybe never been that hung over.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">When I finally got out of the shower and got dressed, breakfast was cooling on the table and Riddick was watching me with a wary, concerned expression.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWe never finished opening your presents last night,\u201d he said as I sat down.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">No, we hadn\u2019t.  We\u2019d pretty much stopped when I\u2019d unwrapped Pandora\u2019s box.  My eyes moved to the now-empty mini-sarcophagus down at the table\u2019s end.  I wasn\u2019t at all sure if I could keep my breakfast down.  Which was a shame because he\u2019d made my favorite.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And he was still waiting for an answer.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMaybe later?\u201d  I looked up at him for a second.  Only a second.  I couldn\u2019t face that bewildered, searching look on his face.  He knew something was wrong, but he didn\u2019t seem to be sure what it was.  Didn\u2019t he remember?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">No, of course he didn\u2019t.  He probably remembered us having a great time, and wanted to do it again.  He\u2019d been gearing up for it when I woke up, hadn\u2019t he?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But was it Jillian he wanted to have that fun time with, or me?  Didn\u2019t he know there was a big difference?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSure,\u201d he said.  Yeah, he sounded awkward now.  I wondered if he was feeling anywhere near as vulnerable as I felt.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I ate breakfast in silence, trying to ignore the fact that he was watching me.  I couldn\u2019t think of anything to say.  Anything that wouldn\u2019t open up a whole mess on us, anyway.  How I wished I could take the night before back.  Okay, yeah, I\u2019d had no idea anything could feel so good and beautiful, <nobr>but\u2026<\/nobr> I\u2019d also had no idea that anything could hurt so terribly.  What if the two had to go together?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I wanted to take it all back, roll back the clock, undo those <nobr>hours\u2026<\/nobr> just find a way to stay <i>sober<\/i> and <i>careful<\/i> the night before.  But it was too late.  Maybe completely too late.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The same thoughts kept going around and around and around in my head.  I could barely eat.  After about an hour of trying, I gave up and cleared my plate, mumbling \u201csorry\u201d to Riddick.  He followed me into the kitchen.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMaybe we should talk.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fuck.  \u201cYeah, <nobr>okay\u2026\u201d<\/nobr> I swallowed and took a deep breath.  \u201cWe should talk.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">When his hand touched the back of my neck I almost jumped right out of my skin.  \u201cAre you okay, Jack?  Did I hurt you last night or something?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHurt me? <nobr>No\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  Not physically, anyway.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou sure?\u201d  His hand was still on my neck, and now his other hand had moved to my waist.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>You called me Jillian.  You called me a whore.<\/i>  I swallowed.  He must not have understood that <i>that<\/i> was what he was saying, but that was what it had felt like to me.  \u201cYeah, I\u2019m sure.  It <nobr>uh\u2026<\/nobr> it\u2019s kind of a blur, but I know you didn\u2019t hurt me.  I just had too much to <nobr>drink\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I drew back from his hands and turned to face him.  I needed a little distance between us.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">His expression was guarded.  I hadn\u2019t seen him look like that since we left Sufi Arabia.  He\u2019d always had this look on his face like he was expecting moral condemnation at any second, back then, and that was how he looked again.  <nobr>\u201cYeah\u2026<\/nobr> we were drunk.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I could barely get the words out. \u201cAnd <nobr>maybe\u2026<\/nobr> things went a little too far.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I was hurting him.  I knew it.  I was <i>hurting<\/i> him!  He was trying to hide it from me, but my words were painful to him.  His voice was cautious as he answered; noncommittal.  \u201cMaybe.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMaybe we just need to, <nobr>um\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  Fuck.  Fuck.  <nobr>\u201c\u2026take<\/nobr> a step <nobr>back\u2026<\/nobr> to where things were before <nobr>we\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>uh\u2026<\/nobr> before <nobr>we\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cBefore we had sex?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My throat was completely knotted shut.  I nodded, my lips pressed tight together.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cHow far a step back are we talking about?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I remembered most of the night now, including some moments that made my skin want to burn and made my body ache for his touch again.  But another ache was moving through me as well.  He\u2019d called me <i>Jillian.<\/i>  And the thing he\u2019d done before then, for a moment I\u2019d thought I was going to die of all that feeling.  I couldn\u2019t handle that.  It was too much.  How could anybody stand feeling like that, like the whole universe was exploding inside them?  This whole thing was way too dangerous.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He was still waiting for me to answer.  No matter where I stopped in my recollections of the night before, it was still <i>too much.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLike last night never happened,\u201d I finally managed.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019d seen that look on his face once before.  It was a week before he\u2019d told me he was leaving Sufi Arabia.  The night Imam had cornered him, demanding to know if he\u2019d returned to his old ways, demanding to know if the murder of a well-known drug lord was his work.  The night Imam had raged at him that Carolyn Fry had died for <i>nothing.<\/i>  I\u2019d hidden while the argument raged, out of sight but still in hearing range, and had found Riddick sitting outside afterwards, staring out into the darkness that, for him, wasn\u2019t darkness at all. He\u2019d had the same expression on his face and I\u2019d wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly, wishing somehow I could do more to comfort him, to reach inside his armor and heal the part of him that had been wounded.  Now I was the one who\u2019d dealt the wound.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNever happened at all.\u201d  His tone was flat, but somehow it sounded like a question.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I couldn\u2019t look at his face anymore.  \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJack\u2026 it\u2019s not that simple.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell, why <i>can\u2019t<\/i> it be?  We were <i>drunk.<\/i>  We shouldn\u2019t have <i>done<\/i> that.  Why can\u2019t we just say we <i>didn\u2019t?<\/i>\u201d  I stared at my hands, which pulled at each other in desperation, as I talked.  I couldn\u2019t look at him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhy shouldn\u2019t we have done it?  You said I didn\u2019t hurt you.  I\u2019m pretty sure I remember you enjoying what we were <nobr>doing\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI can\u2019t do that again, Rick!  I can\u2019t be that girl again!\u201d  It was out of my mouth before I realized.  But her name went unspoken.  I couldn\u2019t be Jillian again, but I couldn\u2019t say her name for fear of somehow invoking her.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201c<i>What<\/i> girl?  You aren\u2019t making any sense.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI can\u2019t be a whore again, Rick!\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cA <i>what?\u201d<\/i>  I sneaked a look at his face and he was staring at me in shock.  All of his layers of careful deadpan had been knocked right off his face.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>I can\u2019t be Jillian again.  Not even if that\u2019s who you want me to be.<\/i>  I couldn\u2019t get the words out.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But I did find myself shrinking back against the counter as Riddick stalked forward.  His hands were on my shoulders and his face was close to mine, his eyes pure steel.  \u201cYou\u2019re not a whore.  That wasn\u2019t what last night was for me at <i>all.<\/i>\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I swallowed as I remembered what his other words had been, right before he\u2019d cut my heart open.  \u201cLove you.\u201d  He\u2019d been talking about <i>love.<\/i>  Was that what it had been for him?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But love was just an illusion, right?  The word people used when they wanted to make the ways they intended to use you seem <i>noble.<\/i>  I knew better than anybody the damage love could do, and I wasn\u2019t going to fall into that trap again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJack, I swear, you wanted it last night as much as I <nobr>did\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI was <i>drunk!<\/i>  I couldn\u2019t <i>think!\u201d<\/i>  I knew that was a lie, though, or at least partly one.  It wasn\u2019t the booze that had turned off all of the higher functions in my head; it was his touch.  I\u2019d been with more men than most women twice my age and nobody had <i>ever<\/i> made me feel like that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick moved even closer to me, gathering me into his arms.  \u201cMaybe we should try now that we\u2019re not drunk, then, and you\u2019ll <nobr>see\u2014\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cNo,<\/i> Rick!\u201d  I pushed him back, panicked, as my body began to respond.  For a second he resisted but then he let me.  \u201cWe\u2019re not doing it again, and I mean it.  The next time we have sex will be the last time you ever see me.  <i>Ever.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He stared at me for a moment, his face displaying shock and hurt unlike anything I\u2019d ever seen before.  And then it was gone.  His face was calm and expressionless.  \u201cOkay, Jack.  If that\u2019s the way you want it.\u201d  Like it was nothing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">My heart was pounding.  Had I really just threatened to run out on him?  To desert him?  I wanted to take it back, but I couldn\u2019t, any more than I could take back what we\u2019d already <i>done.<\/i>  \u201cIt is.  I mean it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFine.\u201d  He turned and headed for the door.  \u201cI\u2019m heading out for a while.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhere?\u201d  Suddenly I was panicked anew.  Had I just driven him away?  Was he going to desert <i>me?<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cNot really sure.\u201d  I heard him pick up his keys and his jacket, but the outer door had swung closed before I got out of the kitchen.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I spent the rest of the day alone in the apartment, feeling sick.  For a while I stared at the pile of unopened presents, part of me thinking I should open them just so I\u2019d have something to do, but the rest of me feeling like I had no <i>right<\/i> to them anymore.  I could barely eat lunch or supper, just picking at leftovers from the huge birthday dinner.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick came home, finally, a few hours after I\u2019d given up and gone to bed.  Not that I\u2019d fallen asleep.  I heard him come into the apartment as I lay in the bed, and pretended to be asleep.  I listened to him as he undressed and showered, and slipped on one of his pairs of boxers.  Finally he climbed into the bed.  I waited for his arms to come around me the way they always did.  And waited.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He didn\u2019t touch me.  He stayed on the opposite edge of the bed from me, and wouldn\u2019t touch me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The next day he didn\u2019t vanish on me, but we barely spoke to each other.  The pile of presents on the table continued to be ignored, neither of us mentioning them.  He made me breakfast, and lunch, and dinner, and we ate the meals in complete silence.  And again, he didn\u2019t hold me when we slept.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The third day was both worse and better.  We spoke of a few inconsequentialities, even managed to turn on the vid and watch something together, although I can\u2019t remember what it was now.  All I could think was that I\u2019d ruined everything, but every time I tried to nerve myself up to say I took it back, the sound of his voice gasping \u201cJillian\u201d returned to me and I couldn\u2019t.  That night I tried to cuddle up against him after I thought he\u2019d gone to sleep and he pulled away as if burned.  Then he got up and went over to the couch, and slept there the rest of the night.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I left him alone on the fourth day, while he handled some routine matters for Niko and I tried to focus on the latest encryption codes I was trying to crack.  We slept on opposite sides of the bed that night.  I stayed well over on my side and didn\u2019t try to touch him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The fifth and sixth days passed the same way, and I was absolutely certain I\u2019d destroyed everything.  That night, after Riddick was asleep, I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower.  I needed a good, long cry.  The only problem was that once it started, I couldn\u2019t get it to <i>stop.<\/i>  Every sob just got louder than the last.  My knees gave out.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">When the water abruptly shut off, I barely felt it.  It was only when he lifted me up off of the floor of the tub, wrapping me in a large towel, that I realized he was there.  He carried me out of the bathroom and over to the bed and lay down with me, holding me close, still wrapped in the towel like a soaked, sobbing mummy.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Jack,\u201d he whispered into my hair.  I couldn\u2019t get the sobs to ease up enough to answer.  \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It took me a long time before my chest stopped spasming enough that I could talk.  <nobr>\u201cI\u2026<\/nobr> I <nobr>don\u2019t\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He was stroking my hair and back.  \u201cIt\u2019s <nobr>okay\u2026<\/nobr> take it <nobr>slow\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2026 want things <nobr>back\u2026<\/nobr> the way they <nobr>were\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  Before.  Before everything got fucked up.  Why couldn\u2019t things go back to the way they were before it all got so fucked up?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMe too, Jack.  We\u2019ll make it happen.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201c\u2026don\u2019t wanna lose <nobr>you\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou won\u2019t.  I don\u2019t wanna lose you either.  So we\u2019ll <nobr>just\u2026<\/nobr> go back.  To how things were.  Like this.  I never meant to hurt you, Jack.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201c\u2026wasn\u2019t your fault, it\u2019s <nobr>me\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cShhhhh.\u201d  He held me close, the way he had before everything had changed on us.  \u201cIt\u2019s all gonna be okay.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I fell asleep against him, all cried out.  When we woke up the next morning, things weren\u2019t <i>really<\/i> back to normal, but they were closer.  By the late afternoon things felt almost normal, and he asked me if I\u2019d like to open the rest of my presents.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">It was strange, opening them.  He\u2019d bought me things I\u2019d been coveting for ages \u2013 a pair of expensive boots I\u2019d longed after ever since seeing Ginger strutting around in some, a series of technical course chips I\u2019d been salivating over, a state-of-the-art palmtop system and, of course, chocolate \u2013 but there was something intangibly different about the gifts, compared to the kinds he\u2019d given me in prior years.  Those had been things I wanted, too, but they\u2019d been slightly more <nobr>practical\u2026<\/nobr> the gifts that a brother might give a sister.  These, somehow, felt more like the gifts a man would give his lover.  I told myself that I was imagining it, that I\u2019d never have interpreted them that way if it hadn\u2019t been for our drunken <i>indiscretion,<\/i> but I still just don\u2019t know.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I\u2019ve thought about it, over and over again, since then.  My birthday was a month ago, and three weeks after I finally opened my presents, they still don\u2019t feel like brotherly gifts to me.  Of course, the palmtop has been destroyed now, and I still have yet to wear the boots out in public.  I\u2019ve eaten some of the chocolate, but not <nobr>much\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">And I still don\u2019t know.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What if I was wrong?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What if the thing I was running away from was never there?  Oh, I know what I\u2019ve always said \u2013 love is shit \u2013 but that\u2019s not the kind of love <i>Riddick\u2019s<\/i> ever given me.  Is it?  He wanted me from the start, but he waited, and didn\u2019t drop any hints at <i>all,<\/i> until I was legally old enough to say what <i>I<\/i> wanted.  And he did ask <nobr>me\u2026<\/nobr> and I did say I wanted him.  And I meant it, didn\u2019t I?  Right up until the end when he said that name.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Jillian.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The name that means the worst part of me.  The name that came to mean whore, sex-toy, little girl-doll with a pulse that men could use how they pleased.  The name he somehow learned when he found out my birthday and traced my backtrail.  Which means, although I\u2019ve tried not to think about it, that he probably knows everything I did when I was Jillian.  He probably knows all about the vids, the drugs, the first few months on my own in the space lanes before I cut off my hair and became a Jack instead of a Jill and finally got the great big \u201cuse me!\u201d sign off of me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I told myself before that, when he said he loved Jillian, he was saying that he loved the whore, the way all the men before had loved <nobr>her\u2026<\/nobr> as a thing to eat.  A thing to be used.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">But that\u2019s not Riddick.  I\u2019ve never been a thing to him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What if what he was really saying <nobr>was\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What if\u2026<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">If Jillian is the absolute worst part of me, maybe what he was trying to say was that he loves all of me, even my most horrible, darkest, dirtiest side.  Could that be it?  Is that what he meant?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He\u2019s still reading his manual.  I want to ask him.  I need to know.  But even as I start walking over towards him, damn my nerves, I can feel my throat closing up around the question.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He looks up and his brows raise a little.  I\u2019m probably standing before him like a nervous supplicant, and given how I was acting earlier, there\u2019s no <i>telling<\/i> what he thinks I might be about to say.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cEverything okay, Jack?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell, um\u2026 actually\u2026\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He waits.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou know, last night, my <nobr>uh\u2026<\/nobr> palmtop got <nobr>destroyed\u2026\u201d<\/nobr>  <i>Shit.<\/i>  I\u2019m such a fucking coward.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cRat\u2019s virus?\u201d  He nods along with me.  \u201cWe can go pick out a replacement tomorrow if you want.  And the first thing you put on it, girl, is that inoculation.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>\u201cOh<\/i> yeah.  Definitely.\u201d  I sit down on the foot of the bed, still trying to get my nerve up.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSomething else?\u201d  He gives me a smile that warns me, in a moment he\u2019s going to start teasingly interrogating me to find out what I want.  I\u2019ve never managed to stand up to that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Better just take the plunge, huh?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI was wondering\u2026 when you found out about me.\u201d  Well, that\u2019s a start.  Sort of.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cFound out what about you?\u201d  Still that teasing smile.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\"><i>Hey, Big Evil, I\u2019m serious here!<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWho I was.  Before.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He sets down his book, his eyes locked with mine.  \u201cYou mean Jillian Beatrice Goodwin of Mount Healthy, Ohio, on Earth?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Wow.  Right in the gut.  Ouch.  \u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou sure you want to know?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI asked, right?\u201d  Maybe I\u2019m getting in way over my head.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWell, it was maybe a month or so before we left Sufi Arabia.  Things weren\u2019t working out for me there.  You remember.  I\u2019d been keeping tabs on the news from the merc network about me, making sure no rumors were circulating about my <nobr>survival\u2026<\/nobr> so sometimes I\u2019d make trips down to the black market.  Some of the shops had all kinds of illegal shit in them.  I\u2019d bought myself some equipment so I could tap into some of the law enforcement databases, and I was leaving the store when I saw your face.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh\u2026 fuck.  \u201cOn a video.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Riddick nods.  \u201cOn a video.  I asked the store\u2019s owner about it, and he said there was a whole series.  Made on Earth, he said, only about a year or two earlier.  Seeing that explained a lot to me about why you\u2019d stayed disguised as a boy.  So that night, once I got into the law enforcement databases, I started doing a little research to see what I could find out.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAnd?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAnd it was all there.  Well, the story from law enforcement\u2019s perspective, anyway.  You\u2019d supposedly run away from home, something your mother had never reported until after you were in police custody, ended up being exploited by a bunch of college boys who figured they could use you to pay their tuitions, spent a while in detox and therapy, and then someone was stupid enough to give you back to your mother.  When you disappeared again, her \u2018spiritual advisor\u2019 or something reported you missing, not her.  But you\u2019d gone off-planet.  Did a good job of hiding your trail, too, at least to the cops.  But I\u2019m used to staying a dozen steps ahead of them, so I found your trail.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAll of it?  How long did that take?\u201d  He really does know everything about me, doesn\u2019t he?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cA while.\u201d  He shrugs.  \u201cI started before we left the Holy Man, and kept going, putting each piece together.  Figured out how long you\u2019d been in cryo, total, in time for your birthday, at least.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI remember.\u201d  Okay\u2026 that\u2019s the <nobr>how\u2026<\/nobr> \u201cDo you <nobr>um\u2026<\/nobr> know why I didn\u2019t go back to using my birth name?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cJillian?  I figure it reminds you too much of bad times.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Well, yes, obviously yes it does.  So <nobr>why\u2026?<\/nobr>  \u201cRick, you\u2019ve called me Jillian.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He blinks.  \u201cI have?  When?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Fuck.  Now I have to tell him.  Well, maybe this way I\u2019ll actually <i>know.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cLast month.  The night <nobr>we\u2026<\/nobr> <nobr>um\u2026\u201d<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He stares at me.  He looks completely aghast.  \u201cI called you Jillian when we were having sex?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">The lump forms in my throat all over again and I can only nod at him.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cOh fuck.\u201d  I\u2019ve never, ever in my life, seen Richard B. Riddick turn pale.  But I\u2019d swear his skin\u2019s lightened in the last minute and taken on an ashy color.  He looks <i>nauseated.<\/i>  The technical manual he was reading thumps to the floor.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Now he\u2019s holding me, his arms tight around me.  For a moment a little part of me \u2013 the part that still hears him gasping <i>that name<\/i> \u2013 wants to struggle and pull away.  But there\u2019s nothing sexual about this.  My grandfather hugged me this way the last time I ever saw him, and for a second the sense-memory overwhelms me and leaves my eyes and nose stinging.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Jack,\u201d Riddick whispers.  He\u2019s stroking my hair and my back.  I can\u2019t really reply; anything I tried to say would be muffled against his chest.  \u201cNo wonder you wanted to forget it ever happened the next day.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh shit\u2026 is he right?  Would we have done it all again, the next day, and the weeks after, if he just hadn\u2019t said that name?  Could I have made it through the scariness of how much he made me feel, if I hadn\u2019t had to feel <i>that,<\/i> too?  <i>God,<\/i> I don\u2019t even <i>know.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cWhen did I say it?\u201d he asks me after a long time.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cAt the end,\u201d I manage, turning my head a little to speak.  At that moment when things had felt their most beautiful, and their most frightening.  At the moment when I felt more alive, and more vulnerable, than ever before.  At the end.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">One soft curse into my hair, and  his embrace becomes fierce again.  \u201cI can be so fucking stupid sometimes, Jack,\u201d he finally says.  He sounds baffled.  After a moment, he speaks again, in that same confused tone.  \u201cI <nobr>guess\u2026<\/nobr> maybe I said it because <nobr>sometimes\u2026\u201d<\/nobr> He stops and I can feel him shaking his head.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I pull back so I can look at him.  He\u2019s frowning a little, the way he sometimes does when he\u2019s cooking and something doesn\u2019t taste quite right to him, and he\u2019s not sure what he needs to add to <i>make<\/i> it right.  \u201cSometimes?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What, sometimes he thinks of those vids?  I wasn\u2019t much older when he met me, and he\u2019s said he wanted me from the start.  But the idea that the vids would interest him just creeps me out.  <i>Please let it not be that.  Please let it not be that.<\/i><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSometimes I wish I could just go back in time somehow, stop it all from <nobr>happening\u2026<\/nobr> so you could have had a normal childhood instead of that horror you went through.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I swear, this is the first time in my life I\u2019ve ever heard Riddick talk about anything this abstract, about wanting to change the past.  I always figured the past was something he left there, didn\u2019t look back at.  But yeah, he kept trying to find a way to get the trappings of normal adolescent life for me, the first few years we were together.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cSo, when you think of <nobr>Jillian\u2026<\/nobr> she\u2019s what?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cMaybe she\u2019s sort of my Amy.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">That takes me by surprise.  I was just thinking about her last night.  \u201cYour Amy?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">He nods.  \u201cThe girl I didn\u2019t get a chance to save.  For a moment that night, last month, I thought I saw her face.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201c<i>Her<\/i> face?\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">\u201cYou looked so innocent, like I was your first.  Like you\u2019d actually <i>had<\/i> a normal life, and nobody\u2019d exploited you or hurt you.  You looked happy.\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Oh fuck, my eyes are stinging.  So that\u2019s why he said it.  That\u2019s why he did it, and what he meant by it.  He really <i>was<\/i> making love to me that night.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">Ever feel like you\u2019re just the most horrible person in the world?  Jeez, and he\u2019s apologizing to me again.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What am I going to do?  I want him to do it again.  I want to kiss him and pull him on top of me and get him to do it all again, <nobr>but\u2026<\/nobr><\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">What if the other thing I said is still true?  What if our next time together is the last time he ever sees me?  What if I still end up running?<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">In spite of what he thinks, Jillian\u2019s no innocent.  There\u2019s nothing good about her.  And there\u2019s still enough of her inside me to destroy us.<\/p>\r\n\r\n  <p style=\"text-indent:.25in; margin-bottom: 0;\">I don\u2019t know what to do.<\/p><\/span>\r\n<div style=\"margin-top: 20px\">\r\n<div class='content-column one_half'><span data-post-id=\"4015\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4015 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\"><a href=\"#chapter-16\">\u00ab Chapter 16<\/a><\/p><\/span><\/div>\r\n<div class='content-column one_half last_column'><span data-post-id=\"4127\" class=\"insert-page insert-page-4127 \"><p style=\"text-align: left; margin-bottom: 0;\">&nbsp;<\/p><\/span><\/div><div class='clear_column'><\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\r\n\r\n<div align=\"center\" class=\"button\" style=\"margin-bottom: 0px;margin-top: 10px\"><a class=\"button\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/fan-fiction\/even-lions-have-their-pride\/#comments\">Leave a review<\/a><\/div>\r\n\r\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Return to the Title Page","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":308,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"bgseo_title":"Read Online: \u201cEven Lions Have Their Pride\u201d by Ardath Rekha","bgseo_description":"Four years after Pitch Black, Riddick and Jack have settled into a unique \u201cFamily\u201d arrangement. (This story was formerly known as \u201cPackmates.\u201d Thank you to Chrysalis for the lovely new title!)","bgseo_robots_index":"index","bgseo_robots_follow":"follow","footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-970","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry","no-wpautop"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/970","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=970"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/970\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6307,"href":"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/970\/revisions\/6307"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/308"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ardath-rekha.com\/fanworks\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=970"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}