The Slow Burn, Chapter 10

Title: The Slow Burn
Chapter: 10 of ?
Fandom: Pitch Black
Synopsis: This is a reworked version of chapter 10 (formerly chapter 9) of The Slow Burn, which was my first attempt at fan fiction. It was semi-successful, but I stopped writing it after I found my real calling with Apprentice. Now I’m revisiting it. The story adds an original character to the group of survivors, and this time around I’m trying to strip away any and all Mary Sue qualities she possessed. In this heavily reworked chapter, Fiona is a sleep-deprived observer to the chaos surrounding Ali’s death and the discovery that everyone may be living on borrowed time.

10.
Fiona: Private Nightfall

The plan had been to end a very long day with some real, clear, pure water and a light supper, and then everyone would bed down in the empty housing units for their first good, real sleep since the crash. But this desolate world was the death of all plans, Fiona mused.

Riddick and Shazza sparring over what had happened to the colonists hadn’t managed to dampen the festive mood much, and it appeared that he had something important to tell everyone about their fates, when the Imam had burst into the room in a panic. He had barely asked them if they had seen Ali when the boy’s screams sent them all running for a building that Riddick called “the coring room.”

The next few hours were an increasingly surreal blur. She had found herself helping Abu — which the tearful Imam had confided was his personal name — to wash and wrap his littlest charge’s maimed and mangled body for burial. Jack had helped as well, more than a little tearful herself.

“I didn’t know he’d gone in there,” Jack had whispered, voice cracking repeatedly on the words. “I was so busy trying to spy on Riddick…”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Abu told her gently, patting her shoulder. Fiona nodded and suppressed a yawn. That was getting harder and harder to do. “He liked to find his way into places like that. So many times, he would almost give me a heart attack with his antics…”

Now it was Jack and Fiona’s turn, yet again, to comfort the cleric as he struggled not to weep.

“I must be strong for a little while longer,” he said after a moment. “At least long enough to sing his prayers.”

Everyone had attended the ceremony, standing back from the Imam and Ali’s cousins as they performed their rituals. It was nothing like any of the funerals Fiona had attended at either her mother’s or father’s churches, she thought, but it still felt holy to her. She stayed quiet and tried not to sway on her feet. Just how long had she been awake now?

Soon after, Fry, Johns, Shazza, and Riddick went back into the coring room, Jack stealing after them a moment later. Fiona sat down and tried to count up just how long she had been awake. How many times had the binary suns risen and set and been replaced by the blue sun since the crash? And how long was it between those exchanges? The math was slippery in her head, but she was pretty sure that it had to have been at least thirty-six hours, most of which had been spent dealing with one crisis or another.

If I don’t get sleep soon, she thought as she leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes, I’m going to be of no use whatsoever to my family when they get here… when they… they… stop messing around and join us…

“You are never going to believe what just happened,” Maggie gushed in her ear.

She opened her eyes. For a moment, she could swear she saw her twin standing in front of her, smiling… and then the last of her dozey dream shredded away and Jack was grinning at her. “…What…?”

Fuck. Of course Maggie wasn’t here. Fuck. Fuck.

Jack didn’t seem to notice any of her sudden distress… yet, anyway. “Shazza gave Riddick her breather! She said she was trying to apologize to him! Can you believe that? Maybe that means she’ll let me talk to him now— hey, are you okay?”

Fiona wiped at her cheeks and focused on smiling at Jack. “Yeah, I… just was having a bad dream, is all.” She could see Jack’s worry and found herself wondering how the girl was managing to power through the sleep deprivation with so much blithe energy. It was a relief to hear that Shazza had finally forgiven Riddick for surviving when her husband hadn’t. That was why she’d been mad, wasn’t it? And giving him her breather… “I honestly thought it’d take an act of God himself for that to happen.” But how could it be? With everything that had happened, God clearly had lost them and was having no better luck finding them than Johns had finding north on his spinning compass… spinning… north…

“Are you sure you’re okay, Fee?”

She nodded and climbed unsteadily to her feet, almost overbalancing as she retrieved her backpack. “Just sleepy, ’sall. C’mon, let’s find a place we can crash for a few hours, yeah?”

Of course, even that simple plan was soon derailed.

When the others realized that she and Jack were going in search of beds, Fry stopped them and made them wait while Riddick, Johns, and Shazza went from house to house and room to room, declaring which ones were safe and which ones might not be. By the time they were satisfied, things had gone from surreal to trippy and Fiona was in no condition to back Jack up in the next argument. They didn’t want her and Jack sharing a room; Jack, they felt, should room with the other boys.

“Are you kidding me?” Jack shouted. “I can’t understand a word they say!” Apparently she still wasn’t ready to break her masquerade and reveal that it would have been two girls sharing a bedroom.

“Fiona?”

She looked up at Shazza blearily. Even the threat of the small eldritch nightmares below the ground—

How could anything that small have carried Zeke off?

—wasn’t enough to keep her eyes focused anymore. Or open for much longer.

“You go ahead and find yourself a place to bunk down, yeah?” Shazza told her. “We’ll work this all out.”

She had the weird feeling that someone was staring at her as she began walking toward the stand-alone residences, but when she glanced back, the only one looking her way was Johns. He immediately looked away.

She stopped by three dwellings before she found one that had been marked as safe.

Sold.

Fiona was very glad that she had never been plagued by allergies the way one of her friends was. Maeve would have been struggling to breathe in all of this dust. She initially thought that she would probably wake up completely filthy, albeit safe, if she slept in the cottage’s bedroom, until she realized that its owner had neatly and carefully made the room up sometime before the final, panicked evacuation, and the bed was covered by a large, thick, heavy bedspread that had withstood at least a decade of dust and neglect. Exhausted as she was, she took care in removing it; the sheets and pillows beneath were fairly clean. She was dirtier, dust and sweat stuck to her skin. With a relatively clean washcloth she found in a cupboard, she swabbed away the worst of the muck with the last ounces of one of Paris’s bottles of Zinfandel. Slipping out of her clothes and into the nightgown from her backpack, she slid under the clean sheets and felt almost transformed for a moment by their blissful, silky feel. No fancy hotel bed had ever felt so good.

In spite of the light pouring into the room — nobody wanted to be where it was dark now — she fell asleep almost immediately. She didn’t even wake up when warm, solid flesh pressed against her back and a pair of strong arms wrapped around her.

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Bie

YAYAYAY!! *bounces!* New (ish lol) Zymy Words!! I’m also so glad when ya post cause I know there’s a new (ish) adventure for me to go on. And that tis gonna be fun!

– But this desolate world was the death of all plans, Fiona mused. – Twas a good plan while it lasted!

– Riddick and Shazza sparring over what had happened to the colonists hadn’t managed to dampen the festive mood much… – Suddenly I be picturing the pair like cousins that always argue at family shindigs, “oh don’t pay them any attention, they always fight.” *smh*

– He had barely asked them if they had seen Ali when the boy’s screams sent them all running for a building that Riddick called “the coring room.” – And just like that, the festive mood is gone!

– She had found herself helping Abu — which the tearful Imam had confided was his personal name — to wash and wrap his littlest charge’s maimed and mangled body for burial. – Poor little guy! 🙁

– Jack had helped as well, more than a little tearful herself. – Can’t blame ya, J.

– “He liked to find his way into places like that. So many times, he would almost give me a heart attack with his antics…” – I can sooooo picture that!

– “I must be strong for a little while longer,” he said after a moment. “At least long enough to sing his prayers.” – They need hugs!

– She stayed quiet and tried not to sway on her feet. Just how long had she been awake now? – And F needs a nap.

– The math was slippery in her head…- Ya have just about described how math is in my head LOL.

– If I don’t get sleep soon, she thought as she leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes, I’m going to be of no use whatsoever to my family when they get here… when they… they… stop messing around and join us…

“You are never going to believe what just happened,” Maggie gushed in her ear.

She opened her eyes. For a moment, she could swear she saw her twin standing in front of her, smiling… and then the last of her dozey dream shredded away and Jack was grinning at her. “…What…?” – I love-love-love this waking dream part!

– Jack didn’t seem to notice any of her sudden distress… yet, anyway. – Key word there, yet lol!

– She could see Jack’s worry and found herself wondering how the girl was managing to power through the sleep deprivation with so much blithe energy. – Teens, gotta love’em lol!

– It was a relief to hear that Shazza had finally forgiven Riddick for surviving when her husband hadn’t. That was why she’d been mad, wasn’t it? And giving him her breather… “I honestly thought it’d take an act of God himself for that to happen.” But how could it be? With everything that had happened, God clearly had lost them and was having no better luck finding them than Johns had finding north on his spinning compass… spinning… north… – I love this section! I love how it flows from the R and S saga to thoughts o’ god to the compass! Loves it!

– “Are you sure you’re okay, Fee?” – That’s up in the air, for any of y’all.

– Of course, even that simple plan was soon derailed. – Dang plans!

– By the time they were satisfied, things had gone from surreal to trippy and Fiona was in no condition to back Jack up in the next argument. They didn’t want her and Jack sharing a room; Jack, they felt, should room with the other boys. – LOL oops!

– “Are you kidding me?” Jack shouted. “I can’t understand a word they say!” I feel ya pain. *looking at G*

– She looked up at Shazza blearily. Even the threat of the small eldritch nightmares below the ground—

How could anything that small have carried Zeke off?

—wasn’t enough to keep her eyes focused anymore. Or open for much longer. – Sometimes even threat of any sized monsters isn’t enough when a body needs some zzzz’s! 😀

– She had the weird feeling that someone was staring at her as she began walking toward the stand-alone residences, but when she glanced back, the only one looking her way was Johns. He immediately looked away. – Where are you R? 😀 We haven’t seen you in a while lol!

– Maeve would have been struggling to breathe in all of this dust. – I feels her pain!

– … she swabbed away the worst of the muck with the last ounces of one of Paris’s bottles of Zinfandel. – I can so picture Paris suddenly getting a cold chill running down his back LOL!

– She didn’t even wake up when warm, solid flesh pressed against her back and a pair of strong arms wrapped around her. – … Why do I get the feeling I know where somebody is now. 😀

*grabs you up and bounces!* I love this chapter! Soooo feels like the calm before a storm. Awesome job!!

LadyElaine

Why do I get the stomach-falling sensation that whoever’s in that bed with her is *not* who she’d like it to be???

Ardath Rekha • Works in Progress